...I've been a bad bloggist because it's difficult for me to devote time and energy to this blog when so many other things are going on. In my current day-to-day structure, if I'm attending class full-time, I do not have time to blog, ever. I have a wife, son, job, real writing, and I'm into games and sports, so this blog is easily cast aside, which sucks. I want to do this M-F, but it's just not working out w/ my school aspirations.
I'll try to find a way to change that. I'd toyed with the idea of writing several posts at a time over the weekend, but the fact is that there are other ways I'd like to spend my weekend. I may give that another shot, but we'll see.
Either way, since I have no classes for the next month, I'm back.
It's an exciting time to be me, though. I've got some things cooking, on a few different professional fronts, as well as some collaborative work that may happen, and I'm pretty pumped. I'm also pleased to report that sales of my book have increased with the holiday season, which shocked me quite a bit. I guess that some feel that Christmas is the best time to read about God betraying man. Who knows? Either way, thanks, and GO BUY ANOTHER NOW!!! It's available in both book form ($15) and ebook ($1.25).
I don't have a ton of time today, but I wanted to remind people that I wrote a reasonably decent novel, and Tony and I have a couple podcasts coming up. We're recording the first one next weekend, the day after Xmas. We'll do a little 'what's new?' followed by a ton of discussion about the best games of 2009, and close with the best games of the 00s (the 'aughts,' as we're supposed to call this clusterfuck of a decade.) We are soliciting nominations, so please, either leave 'em in the comments of this post or any next week, or hit me up with 'em on Twitter!
The day after New Year, we'll be recording a 2010 preview, and I'm asking for the same info, though not just yet.
Anyway, I'll be back with a lot more next week, but lemme know what were your best games of 2009 were, as well as what were your best of the 2000s!
-Blaine
On sale now!
Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts
20091019
Yo I Be Where I Be At
Yes, I'm a neglectful bloggist, I know, but I'm good at what I do, and I'm rather charming, which means I can get away with whatever I want.
Lemme lay it out for ya like this:
- I take classes, and I'm one of those students who works incredibly hard at determining what I can do to get away with having to do the same amount of work as the generic, average students, but get at least a B. This takes a lot of dedication and devotion to fucking around. I take my slacker-ness seriously.
- I work, and I rather enjoy what I do. Working in IT on a college campus seems like a tough, bitchy job if you haven't actually had a tough, bitchy job. I have had some fairly bad jobs (ripping the guts out of chickens), and I've had some very, very hard jobs (being a restaurant GM), so going to work in an IT department on a college campus is something that I actually enjoy, and in order to keep enjoying it, I actually, ya know, work. And read sports news on the internet.
- Uncharted fucking 2: Among Thieves. Thank the Maker, this is the best game I've played in a long, long time. I know that Cody's mental vagina has developed a severe allergy to cut-scenes, but this game epitomizes my belief that, in certain games, the cut scenes provide a wonderful breather, and act as a 'take a sip of your beer, grab a smoke, and relax for a minute' kinda moment. Cody, my dearest friend and fellow bloggist, I urge you to inject your brain with some Vagisil, and happily slurp down a PS3, loaded with wonderful cutscenes. Anyway, this game is the best of the adventure/platforming genre, and has a beautiful blend of puzzles, storytelling, rich characters, platforming, combat, gorgeous art, and my wife was even wanting to give kudos to whoever 'dresses the sets,' so to speak, because the environments are so detailed (and I don't mean polygons and textures, though those look nice, too.)
- I also journeyed out to Kingston, IL and Chicago over the weekend for a wedding and to visit the in-laws, so there.
- I spent quite a bit of time fighting with Windows 7, since I got my retail keys for several copies a couple weeks ago, through work/school. I've been trying to upgrade my gaming Deathbook from Vista Home Premium x64 to Windows 7 Pro x64, and it is not, officially, possible. I don't accept that, and I'm halfway through the process now. Of course, if I have to do a full reinstall, so be it, but I have that machine, and each game install, super-customized, and don't even get me started about my fucking iTunes library. If I have to reinstall, I'm looking at a month or two of tweaking to get everything back to where I want it. No thanks.
- Lastly, I've been working on getting more gaming going w/ Linux. One of the things I'd really like to do in life is bring a greater gaming presence to Linux. It would make gaming platforms FREE, which is a huge win, but would also open game development up to a greater number of people. Gaming + open source could be a great thing. I've now got Guild Wars & the Neverwinter Nights (plus all the expansions) running on my Ubuntu netbook, and they both run PERFECTLY. NWN actually runs without any emulation. It is actually running ON Linux, which is awesome. Now, if we can just get Steam to act as a means to run anything and everything on Linux...
Oh, and I guess I need to publish that third chapter of my book on here, as I had promised. I'll get it up here tomorrow.
What have you been up to?
-Blaine
Lemme lay it out for ya like this:
- I take classes, and I'm one of those students who works incredibly hard at determining what I can do to get away with having to do the same amount of work as the generic, average students, but get at least a B. This takes a lot of dedication and devotion to fucking around. I take my slacker-ness seriously.
- I work, and I rather enjoy what I do. Working in IT on a college campus seems like a tough, bitchy job if you haven't actually had a tough, bitchy job. I have had some fairly bad jobs (ripping the guts out of chickens), and I've had some very, very hard jobs (being a restaurant GM), so going to work in an IT department on a college campus is something that I actually enjoy, and in order to keep enjoying it, I actually, ya know, work. And read sports news on the internet.
- Uncharted fucking 2: Among Thieves. Thank the Maker, this is the best game I've played in a long, long time. I know that Cody's mental vagina has developed a severe allergy to cut-scenes, but this game epitomizes my belief that, in certain games, the cut scenes provide a wonderful breather, and act as a 'take a sip of your beer, grab a smoke, and relax for a minute' kinda moment. Cody, my dearest friend and fellow bloggist, I urge you to inject your brain with some Vagisil, and happily slurp down a PS3, loaded with wonderful cutscenes. Anyway, this game is the best of the adventure/platforming genre, and has a beautiful blend of puzzles, storytelling, rich characters, platforming, combat, gorgeous art, and my wife was even wanting to give kudos to whoever 'dresses the sets,' so to speak, because the environments are so detailed (and I don't mean polygons and textures, though those look nice, too.)
- I also journeyed out to Kingston, IL and Chicago over the weekend for a wedding and to visit the in-laws, so there.
- I spent quite a bit of time fighting with Windows 7, since I got my retail keys for several copies a couple weeks ago, through work/school. I've been trying to upgrade my gaming Deathbook from Vista Home Premium x64 to Windows 7 Pro x64, and it is not, officially, possible. I don't accept that, and I'm halfway through the process now. Of course, if I have to do a full reinstall, so be it, but I have that machine, and each game install, super-customized, and don't even get me started about my fucking iTunes library. If I have to reinstall, I'm looking at a month or two of tweaking to get everything back to where I want it. No thanks.
- Lastly, I've been working on getting more gaming going w/ Linux. One of the things I'd really like to do in life is bring a greater gaming presence to Linux. It would make gaming platforms FREE, which is a huge win, but would also open game development up to a greater number of people. Gaming + open source could be a great thing. I've now got Guild Wars & the Neverwinter Nights (plus all the expansions) running on my Ubuntu netbook, and they both run PERFECTLY. NWN actually runs without any emulation. It is actually running ON Linux, which is awesome. Now, if we can just get Steam to act as a means to run anything and everything on Linux...
Oh, and I guess I need to publish that third chapter of my book on here, as I had promised. I'll get it up here tomorrow.
What have you been up to?
-Blaine
20090922
Techie Tuesday #1
I had a few different versions of today's post I was working on and kicking around, but then Adam, in his comment yesterday, asked me what RSS is. It dawned me then that I'm one of the only people I know who use RSS, and this is a great thing to share with anyone who uses the internet as a news and info-gathering source.
First, what is RSS?
RSS stands for 'Really Simple Syndication.' Basically, it's a way to deliver new content to 'subscribers' of sites. Every site worth a shit offers a means of aggregating their updates nowadays.
For example, when pearljam.com updates, the new item on the site shows up in my Google Reader. Instead of having to waste an hour or more 'surfing' the net, hitting all my regular sites, I just comb through my Google Reader and get caught up on what I care about.
Okay, so what is Google Reader?
Google Reader is my preferred RSS reader. It acts as a hub for all your feeds, and lets you organize them as you'd like. It can also be accessed through your phone, or you can use Prism (or a little know-how) to make it its own pseudo-stand-alone app on your machine.
There's some other more advanced 'sharing' stuff you can do with G-Reader, but we'll save that for another post. Seriously, it's one of my favorite web-apps out there.
Fine. So how do I go about adding feeds to my Google Reader?
First, log into Google Reader with your Google account, and make sure your login is cool.
Then, start hitting your favorite sites. Like this one.
Let's pretend you have excellent taste, and want to know the moment I update my blog.
To do this, scroll down to just above my graveyard of embedded shit (the ESPN scores, XBox Live Gamercard, etc.) and look for 'Subscribe to: Posts (Atom), then click on it. It should flip to a page either asking what kind of app you want to use to subscribe to this feed, or it'll take you to a Google page asking if you want this in your Reader or Google home page. You want it in your Reader.
If for some reason you don't get either of those, you can right-click on the Atom link and 'save target as,' then paste that directly into Google Reader by clicking on 'Add a subscription' in the top left of the page.
Additionally, a lotta sites, like this one, will show this symbol in the URL bar:
If you click on that, it'll either have the same functionality as the above, or it'll give you a few choices as to what kind of subscription you want. I always default to the highest version of RSS, if possible, or Atom.
Okay, that's all done, so now what?
We'll talk more in the future about the deeper features of Google Reader, but know that you can create embeddable objects (like I have) for your blogs and pages that show your latest 'shared' items (sharing is located at the bottom of each item in your feed), you can network w/ folks who have similar tastes using the 'like' option at the bottom of each feed item (which you can use to push your own shit), and you can customize and organize your news any way you want. I break mine into sub-categories, but usually tackle the whole mess (I have about 200 unique feeds in mine) twice a day in chronological order.
Among my favorite feeds:
Laurance's blog
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams blog
Ars Technica (techie stuff)
Bernie Miklasz's blog
Bioware blog
Bird Land
Iris's blog
Cody's gaming blog
Jorge Garcia's blog
EFF
ESPN - MLB
Felicia Day's blog
Gamasutra (game industry news)
Jeff Green's blog
Hot Stove League (Cardinals blog)
Jono Bacon's blog (Ubuntu)
Mozilla Labs
Penny Arcade
rwnin infosec blog
slashdot
STL Sports Nation
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Cardinals' coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Mizzou coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams' coverage
Stop All Monsters
Hollywood Reporter - Film
Hollywood Reporter - TV
1UP Gaming News
The Onion
Tipsheet
Ubuntu News
Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition
Aaand, that's probably way more than enough.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- tonight is the season finale for Warehouse 13, which has undergone an amazing transformation. It started out as one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, but I hung in there because of the concept, and was rewarded by some dramatic improvements to the show. I wanted nothing more than the two leads to die slowly at first, but after about 5 or 6 episodes, I stopped hating them, and I actually kinda liked them a bit. Now, it's actually a really fun show, and I urge you to go back and give it a shot.
- still loving the new Pearl Jam, Backspacer. If you stupidly walked away from them a few years ago because they had expanded beyond what your tiny mind can handle, give them a listen now.
- tomorrow is Writing Wednesday, and I'll be talking about how to come back to that piece that ya started in earnest, then never quite got back to. It happens to all of us, but I have a few tricks for getting that spark and drive back. I'm also taking any and all writing-related questions, so post 'em in the comments if ya got 'em!
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
First, what is RSS?
RSS stands for 'Really Simple Syndication.' Basically, it's a way to deliver new content to 'subscribers' of sites. Every site worth a shit offers a means of aggregating their updates nowadays.
For example, when pearljam.com updates, the new item on the site shows up in my Google Reader. Instead of having to waste an hour or more 'surfing' the net, hitting all my regular sites, I just comb through my Google Reader and get caught up on what I care about.
Okay, so what is Google Reader?
Google Reader is my preferred RSS reader. It acts as a hub for all your feeds, and lets you organize them as you'd like. It can also be accessed through your phone, or you can use Prism (or a little know-how) to make it its own pseudo-stand-alone app on your machine.
There's some other more advanced 'sharing' stuff you can do with G-Reader, but we'll save that for another post. Seriously, it's one of my favorite web-apps out there.
Fine. So how do I go about adding feeds to my Google Reader?
First, log into Google Reader with your Google account, and make sure your login is cool.
Then, start hitting your favorite sites. Like this one.
Let's pretend you have excellent taste, and want to know the moment I update my blog.
To do this, scroll down to just above my graveyard of embedded shit (the ESPN scores, XBox Live Gamercard, etc.) and look for 'Subscribe to: Posts (Atom), then click on it. It should flip to a page either asking what kind of app you want to use to subscribe to this feed, or it'll take you to a Google page asking if you want this in your Reader or Google home page. You want it in your Reader.
If for some reason you don't get either of those, you can right-click on the Atom link and 'save target as,' then paste that directly into Google Reader by clicking on 'Add a subscription' in the top left of the page.
Additionally, a lotta sites, like this one, will show this symbol in the URL bar:
If you click on that, it'll either have the same functionality as the above, or it'll give you a few choices as to what kind of subscription you want. I always default to the highest version of RSS, if possible, or Atom.
Okay, that's all done, so now what?
We'll talk more in the future about the deeper features of Google Reader, but know that you can create embeddable objects (like I have) for your blogs and pages that show your latest 'shared' items (sharing is located at the bottom of each item in your feed), you can network w/ folks who have similar tastes using the 'like' option at the bottom of each feed item (which you can use to push your own shit), and you can customize and organize your news any way you want. I break mine into sub-categories, but usually tackle the whole mess (I have about 200 unique feeds in mine) twice a day in chronological order.
Among my favorite feeds:
Laurance's blog
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams blog
Ars Technica (techie stuff)
Bernie Miklasz's blog
Bioware blog
Bird Land
Iris's blog
Cody's gaming blog
Jorge Garcia's blog
EFF
ESPN - MLB
Felicia Day's blog
Gamasutra (game industry news)
Jeff Green's blog
Hot Stove League (Cardinals blog)
Jono Bacon's blog (Ubuntu)
Mozilla Labs
Penny Arcade
rwnin infosec blog
slashdot
STL Sports Nation
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Cardinals' coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Mizzou coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams' coverage
Stop All Monsters
Hollywood Reporter - Film
Hollywood Reporter - TV
1UP Gaming News
The Onion
Tipsheet
Ubuntu News
Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition
Aaand, that's probably way more than enough.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- tonight is the season finale for Warehouse 13, which has undergone an amazing transformation. It started out as one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, but I hung in there because of the concept, and was rewarded by some dramatic improvements to the show. I wanted nothing more than the two leads to die slowly at first, but after about 5 or 6 episodes, I stopped hating them, and I actually kinda liked them a bit. Now, it's actually a really fun show, and I urge you to go back and give it a shot.
- still loving the new Pearl Jam, Backspacer. If you stupidly walked away from them a few years ago because they had expanded beyond what your tiny mind can handle, give them a listen now.
- tomorrow is Writing Wednesday, and I'll be talking about how to come back to that piece that ya started in earnest, then never quite got back to. It happens to all of us, but I have a few tricks for getting that spark and drive back. I'm also taking any and all writing-related questions, so post 'em in the comments if ya got 'em!
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
20090921
It's Monday and I'm Manly, or so I'm made to think
When I was in the conceptual stage for the new blog format, this was the first idea I had.
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
20090915
The Filthy Writer Blog Relaunch
So, I've been meaning, for weeks now, to get back to posting nearly every weekday, but I've been too busy with all kindsa bullshit, but that's trickled down to a nearly-manageable level now.
Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.
Announcements
- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.
- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:
Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.
Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.
Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.
Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.
Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.
- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.
- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!
- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.
Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...
On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.
Why?
I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.
Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.
When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.
Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.
When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.
How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.
I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.
Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.
Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.
Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.
Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?
Thanks!
-Blaine
Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.
Announcements
- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.
- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:
Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.
Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.
Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.
Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.
Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.
- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.
- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!
- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.
Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...
On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.
Why?
I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.
Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.
When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.
Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.
When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.
How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.
I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.
Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.
Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.
Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.
Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?
Thanks!
-Blaine
20090826
Whoah.
I've been busy. My 'real' job has taken over my life the last few weeks, but things should be slowly settling down, and I'll get back to my goal of 3-5 posts per week.
I'll be talking about the three corporations that have fucked me over, and I'll be posting documents to back up my accusations, so that will be fun.
I'll be talking about the holiday preview podcast Tony and I will be doing in September.
I'll be talking about the new Mass Effect DLC, assuming it ever actually works w/ the Steam version of the game.
I'll be talking about my continued journey down the dark path of the MBA.
I'll be talking a bit about what's been stalling me in regards to the book, and what my future plans are for the series.
Also, if you're one of the three getting a free book from me, they have not yet been ordered. I apologize for that, but I have my reasons. They'll be ordered in a week. If you have the sense to live here in St. Louis, then you'll get in two weeks. If you live elsewhere, you'll see it in about three weeks. In the meantime, why not tide yourself over with the $1.25 ebook?
I'm going to try and get a 'real' post up before the weekend.
So, to anyone who's read the book or is reading it: what do you think? Do you have any questions? How would you describe it?
-Blaine
I'll be talking about the three corporations that have fucked me over, and I'll be posting documents to back up my accusations, so that will be fun.
I'll be talking about the holiday preview podcast Tony and I will be doing in September.
I'll be talking about the new Mass Effect DLC, assuming it ever actually works w/ the Steam version of the game.
I'll be talking about my continued journey down the dark path of the MBA.
I'll be talking a bit about what's been stalling me in regards to the book, and what my future plans are for the series.
Also, if you're one of the three getting a free book from me, they have not yet been ordered. I apologize for that, but I have my reasons. They'll be ordered in a week. If you have the sense to live here in St. Louis, then you'll get in two weeks. If you live elsewhere, you'll see it in about three weeks. In the meantime, why not tide yourself over with the $1.25 ebook?
I'm going to try and get a 'real' post up before the weekend.
So, to anyone who's read the book or is reading it: what do you think? Do you have any questions? How would you describe it?
-Blaine
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)