...I've been a bad bloggist because it's difficult for me to devote time and energy to this blog when so many other things are going on. In my current day-to-day structure, if I'm attending class full-time, I do not have time to blog, ever. I have a wife, son, job, real writing, and I'm into games and sports, so this blog is easily cast aside, which sucks. I want to do this M-F, but it's just not working out w/ my school aspirations.
I'll try to find a way to change that. I'd toyed with the idea of writing several posts at a time over the weekend, but the fact is that there are other ways I'd like to spend my weekend. I may give that another shot, but we'll see.
Either way, since I have no classes for the next month, I'm back.
It's an exciting time to be me, though. I've got some things cooking, on a few different professional fronts, as well as some collaborative work that may happen, and I'm pretty pumped. I'm also pleased to report that sales of my book have increased with the holiday season, which shocked me quite a bit. I guess that some feel that Christmas is the best time to read about God betraying man. Who knows? Either way, thanks, and GO BUY ANOTHER NOW!!! It's available in both book form ($15) and ebook ($1.25).
I don't have a ton of time today, but I wanted to remind people that I wrote a reasonably decent novel, and Tony and I have a couple podcasts coming up. We're recording the first one next weekend, the day after Xmas. We'll do a little 'what's new?' followed by a ton of discussion about the best games of 2009, and close with the best games of the 00s (the 'aughts,' as we're supposed to call this clusterfuck of a decade.) We are soliciting nominations, so please, either leave 'em in the comments of this post or any next week, or hit me up with 'em on Twitter!
The day after New Year, we'll be recording a 2010 preview, and I'm asking for the same info, though not just yet.
Anyway, I'll be back with a lot more next week, but lemme know what were your best games of 2009 were, as well as what were your best of the 2000s!
-Blaine
On sale now!
Showing posts with label podcast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label podcast. Show all posts
20091125
20090925
It's time to fuck off
Sorry about not posting yesterday, but until you cats start mailing me cash, I need to yield my time to my actual 'job' job. I was running all over campus all day yesterday, so time was rather pinched. It was good to actually move around a lot and get a bit of a work-out.
Anyway, I've also been devoting a lot of time to prepping for tomorrow's podcast. We'll be rampaging through all the non-shit games from Tokyo Game Show, and very generously sharing our unfiltered opinions. We'll be taking any requests for games to include until Saturday evening.
I am horribly tired right now, so I'm not going to post a ton today. It's been a brutally busy week, and I've been running myself ragged.
So, what's been going on? Well, I had some really tough exams Monday & Wednesday, I was sick Tuesday, then ran my ass off for work yesterday. I've also not been sleeping much, and dieting does weird things to my brain. If I sound like I'm whining, I'm not, and you're retarded. I'm just trying give a proper context for my utter inability to post 5 times in a week.
Anyway, I need to stop trying so hard to make a point of enjoying myself each day, and just sleep more. I'll feel much better, physically, each day if I can do that.
Blah. Time to get the hell over it.
Anyway, I'll post either Saturday or Sunday on here, when the podcast is up.
So, in the meantime, please let me know what games ya wanna hear about.
Also, Monday is 'Manly Monday' again, so hit me up with any man advice, love advice, anything pertaining to being a man or about your man. I'm here for you. Kinda.
For now, I'm going to wrap up my work day, then crawl into a hole at home for a few hours before going out with some of my bandmates. Should be an interesting evening. We'll be @ the Pink Galleon @ Olive & Fee-Fee tonight if anyone wants to come out and stand near us while we consume alcohol.
-Blaine
Anyway, I've also been devoting a lot of time to prepping for tomorrow's podcast. We'll be rampaging through all the non-shit games from Tokyo Game Show, and very generously sharing our unfiltered opinions. We'll be taking any requests for games to include until Saturday evening.
I am horribly tired right now, so I'm not going to post a ton today. It's been a brutally busy week, and I've been running myself ragged.
So, what's been going on? Well, I had some really tough exams Monday & Wednesday, I was sick Tuesday, then ran my ass off for work yesterday. I've also not been sleeping much, and dieting does weird things to my brain. If I sound like I'm whining, I'm not, and you're retarded. I'm just trying give a proper context for my utter inability to post 5 times in a week.
Anyway, I need to stop trying so hard to make a point of enjoying myself each day, and just sleep more. I'll feel much better, physically, each day if I can do that.
Blah. Time to get the hell over it.
Anyway, I'll post either Saturday or Sunday on here, when the podcast is up.
So, in the meantime, please let me know what games ya wanna hear about.
Also, Monday is 'Manly Monday' again, so hit me up with any man advice, love advice, anything pertaining to being a man or about your man. I'm here for you. Kinda.
For now, I'm going to wrap up my work day, then crawl into a hole at home for a few hours before going out with some of my bandmates. Should be an interesting evening. We'll be @ the Pink Galleon @ Olive & Fee-Fee tonight if anyone wants to come out and stand near us while we consume alcohol.
-Blaine
20090923
Writing Wednesday #2: Continuing the Story
The only thing harder than starting something new is finishing it. Whether it be playing a Japanese RPG, reading one of my books, bringing a woman to orgasm, or writing your own fiction, it can be tremendously hard to finish something you started.
Have no fear, though. I can at least help you with the writing bit. And I do know my way around a few JRPGs.
So, you've got a solid idea, you have some idea about the execution, you've gotten a bit of it hammered out, and now it's the next day. Or the next week. Maybe even a year later, and you kinda beat yourself up over letting that once-grand story just sit and fester. Sometimes you load it up, stare at it, maybe add a sentence or so, then shut it down in frustration.
That's totally normal. I honestly believe that this is the fate of most stories.
When I was initially writing the first Endless Wars book, I had more than a few moments like that. Sometimes, I was able to get past it by simply leaning back, sucking down a drink, and puffing down a smoke. It was a matter of just getting into the right head space.
That was sometimes. More often that not, though, that didn't put me into the right mental space.
I'm a firm believer in warming up. Whether it be athletics, programming, mathematics, sex, or writing, I need to get the engines revved first.
With writing, I like to go back to everything I wrote in the previous session, and start really editing it. By doing that, I find that my mind starts to re-shape itself into what it needs to be for that story. Every story has its own distinct personality, and it's important to get back in touch with that before banging out new ideas. Now, if you're writing on it every day, this may be less needed, but if you're coming back to something for the first time in a while, it's almost required, just so you know what the hell is going on in your story, if nothing else.
Even when I'm writing on something every day, I find that this helps me not only get my mind right, but it also allows me to take a more critical eye to the previous day's work, since I'm not totally into that space yet. You want as many different perspectives on your own work as possible, and since I generally don't share works in progress with others, this lets me act as my own on-the-fly editor, at least until I'm done.
If you're a persistent drunk, this is almost necessary, since a) you may or may not remember the actual events that transpired in your story the night before, and b) you may also have some rather egregious issues in your spelling and grammar.
Oh, and you know how some things seem like a great idea when you're drunk (climbing on your roof, knife-throwing contests, eating White Castle, sharing your true feelings with your boss via email, waking your wife up for drunk sex @ 6AM, etc.), but make you want to move to a remote part of the Yukon the next day? Well, the same applies to your book, so you may want to take a peek at how melodramatic and annoying you made your main character the night before.
Back to general editing, though, what I like most about this is that not only do I get pulled back into my book this way, but I get excited about banging out new material, so that when I'm done editing the last session, I hit the ground running, and I'm fired up about my new ideas.
Additionally, if I think about the current project while I'm in the shower, just after waking, I find that a lot of good ideas come to me then. Sometimes, I'll write them down, or I'll just salivate over them the rest of the day, and find myself chomping at the bit to get moving on the book again.
Another important key is building a process, especially if you're not the most practiced writer. Find a space in which you like to write, as well as the right music, and maybe even time of day. Sometimes there's a particular daily activity that, if you follow it immediately with writing, you churn out good work.
When I wrote the bulk of my book, I used to do it immediately after work, at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon (I would get up at the ass-crack of dawn to rip the guts out of chicken and then marinate them by the the hundreds all day), with music on and a movie on. I needed as much chaos as possible at that time. I would usually drink and chain-smoke, too. I would do that for about an hour or two each day. I cranked out the majority of my book doing that.
Now, if you start to really get somewhere as a writer, don't become a slave to your process. I know that this flies in the face of what most other writers will tell you, but they're cowardly pussies who like to make excuses for the lack of challenge they give themselves. Own your process and writing talent, and make them both work for you.
Additionally, when I was still in a band, most of my great song ideas would come to me while I was driving. It was a bit annoying, since guitar riffs are hard to preserve in your head for as long as I needed them to, sometimes. I think some of my best songs came from cruising the dirty city streets in my 1991 Pontiac Transport minivan back when I was a teenager. Make note of when your best ideas come to you, and what you're doing at those moments.
Nowadays, my biggest hurdle is just time. I'm actually trying to build a more consistent day-to-day schedule, so that I can get way too many things done. I'll admit that I don't crank on the fiction like I used to, but that's changing. The second Endless Wars book has a very solid beginning, and my G-doc project is still rattling in my brain, daring me to fail.
Really, time is a bitch, and is probably the greatest enemy of any unaccomplished writer. I know that I certainly don't have the time I'd like for my fiction, especially when I'm cranking out blogs like this, but it'll come. I know what I had to do to write that first book, I'm applying lessons learned from that to the second book, but I'm also learning what unique demands this book is making.
The bottom line, though, for any serious writer is the following: a page a day. Period. Even if it's crap. A page a day will get you to the point where your biggest worry is finding an agent and having a finished novel that you want to publish.
So, to recap:
- start out by editing the previous session's work; get yourself a running start into the new material; you will also see things that need to be addressed NOW, which is a bonus
- develop a process; discover the right location, music, habits, lighting, time of day, etc. that help you succeed as a writer
- A page a day. Seriously. A page a day. Do it. A page a day.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- Any current events you wanna hear about tomorrow? It'll be Thopical Thursday (a terrible attempt at a pun, I know, but just play along), so I'll be grabbing some poor, defenseless recent topic and beating the shit out of it. I'm thinking about addressing people's obsession with weird, unimportant shit like Kanye (the brand of a product) interrupting another brand's product placement award, to express dissatisfaction that a different ad hadn't been selected as 'the best' at selling products. I dunno. I sometimes feel like in a science fiction world where the advertisement has become more important than the actual product. Yes, this does sound like a great topic.
- I mentioned the Bodybugg on Monday, and I've now lost 4 pounds in the first 6 days. I don't expect that pace to continue, given the way weight loss works, but it is pleasing in the short term. I have a fuck-ton more weight to drop before I can make non-crazy people accept that a classy chick like my wife would actually copulate with me.
I believe that is all for now.
How is your writing going? Or any other creative project you may be taking on? Any advice you wanna contribute to those having trouble continuing to work on a creative project? Are you seeking any advice? Post it in the comments below!
-Blaine
Have no fear, though. I can at least help you with the writing bit. And I do know my way around a few JRPGs.
So, you've got a solid idea, you have some idea about the execution, you've gotten a bit of it hammered out, and now it's the next day. Or the next week. Maybe even a year later, and you kinda beat yourself up over letting that once-grand story just sit and fester. Sometimes you load it up, stare at it, maybe add a sentence or so, then shut it down in frustration.
That's totally normal. I honestly believe that this is the fate of most stories.
When I was initially writing the first Endless Wars book, I had more than a few moments like that. Sometimes, I was able to get past it by simply leaning back, sucking down a drink, and puffing down a smoke. It was a matter of just getting into the right head space.
That was sometimes. More often that not, though, that didn't put me into the right mental space.
I'm a firm believer in warming up. Whether it be athletics, programming, mathematics, sex, or writing, I need to get the engines revved first.
With writing, I like to go back to everything I wrote in the previous session, and start really editing it. By doing that, I find that my mind starts to re-shape itself into what it needs to be for that story. Every story has its own distinct personality, and it's important to get back in touch with that before banging out new ideas. Now, if you're writing on it every day, this may be less needed, but if you're coming back to something for the first time in a while, it's almost required, just so you know what the hell is going on in your story, if nothing else.
Even when I'm writing on something every day, I find that this helps me not only get my mind right, but it also allows me to take a more critical eye to the previous day's work, since I'm not totally into that space yet. You want as many different perspectives on your own work as possible, and since I generally don't share works in progress with others, this lets me act as my own on-the-fly editor, at least until I'm done.
If you're a persistent drunk, this is almost necessary, since a) you may or may not remember the actual events that transpired in your story the night before, and b) you may also have some rather egregious issues in your spelling and grammar.
Oh, and you know how some things seem like a great idea when you're drunk (climbing on your roof, knife-throwing contests, eating White Castle, sharing your true feelings with your boss via email, waking your wife up for drunk sex @ 6AM, etc.), but make you want to move to a remote part of the Yukon the next day? Well, the same applies to your book, so you may want to take a peek at how melodramatic and annoying you made your main character the night before.
Back to general editing, though, what I like most about this is that not only do I get pulled back into my book this way, but I get excited about banging out new material, so that when I'm done editing the last session, I hit the ground running, and I'm fired up about my new ideas.
Additionally, if I think about the current project while I'm in the shower, just after waking, I find that a lot of good ideas come to me then. Sometimes, I'll write them down, or I'll just salivate over them the rest of the day, and find myself chomping at the bit to get moving on the book again.
Another important key is building a process, especially if you're not the most practiced writer. Find a space in which you like to write, as well as the right music, and maybe even time of day. Sometimes there's a particular daily activity that, if you follow it immediately with writing, you churn out good work.
When I wrote the bulk of my book, I used to do it immediately after work, at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon (I would get up at the ass-crack of dawn to rip the guts out of chicken and then marinate them by the the hundreds all day), with music on and a movie on. I needed as much chaos as possible at that time. I would usually drink and chain-smoke, too. I would do that for about an hour or two each day. I cranked out the majority of my book doing that.
Now, if you start to really get somewhere as a writer, don't become a slave to your process. I know that this flies in the face of what most other writers will tell you, but they're cowardly pussies who like to make excuses for the lack of challenge they give themselves. Own your process and writing talent, and make them both work for you.
Additionally, when I was still in a band, most of my great song ideas would come to me while I was driving. It was a bit annoying, since guitar riffs are hard to preserve in your head for as long as I needed them to, sometimes. I think some of my best songs came from cruising the dirty city streets in my 1991 Pontiac Transport minivan back when I was a teenager. Make note of when your best ideas come to you, and what you're doing at those moments.
Nowadays, my biggest hurdle is just time. I'm actually trying to build a more consistent day-to-day schedule, so that I can get way too many things done. I'll admit that I don't crank on the fiction like I used to, but that's changing. The second Endless Wars book has a very solid beginning, and my G-doc project is still rattling in my brain, daring me to fail.
Really, time is a bitch, and is probably the greatest enemy of any unaccomplished writer. I know that I certainly don't have the time I'd like for my fiction, especially when I'm cranking out blogs like this, but it'll come. I know what I had to do to write that first book, I'm applying lessons learned from that to the second book, but I'm also learning what unique demands this book is making.
The bottom line, though, for any serious writer is the following: a page a day. Period. Even if it's crap. A page a day will get you to the point where your biggest worry is finding an agent and having a finished novel that you want to publish.
So, to recap:
- start out by editing the previous session's work; get yourself a running start into the new material; you will also see things that need to be addressed NOW, which is a bonus
- develop a process; discover the right location, music, habits, lighting, time of day, etc. that help you succeed as a writer
- A page a day. Seriously. A page a day. Do it. A page a day.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- Any current events you wanna hear about tomorrow? It'll be Thopical Thursday (a terrible attempt at a pun, I know, but just play along), so I'll be grabbing some poor, defenseless recent topic and beating the shit out of it. I'm thinking about addressing people's obsession with weird, unimportant shit like Kanye (the brand of a product) interrupting another brand's product placement award, to express dissatisfaction that a different ad hadn't been selected as 'the best' at selling products. I dunno. I sometimes feel like in a science fiction world where the advertisement has become more important than the actual product. Yes, this does sound like a great topic.
- I mentioned the Bodybugg on Monday, and I've now lost 4 pounds in the first 6 days. I don't expect that pace to continue, given the way weight loss works, but it is pleasing in the short term. I have a fuck-ton more weight to drop before I can make non-crazy people accept that a classy chick like my wife would actually copulate with me.
I believe that is all for now.
How is your writing going? Or any other creative project you may be taking on? Any advice you wanna contribute to those having trouble continuing to work on a creative project? Are you seeking any advice? Post it in the comments below!
-Blaine
20090921
It's Monday and I'm Manly, or so I'm made to think
When I was in the conceptual stage for the new blog format, this was the first idea I had.
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
20090528
The return of Untitled Podcast and E3!
First, please watch this.
I love that kinda shit. Now, to set the tone for E3, lemme continue an annual tradition. Please watch this next.
I love that even more.
Now, onto business.
UNTITLED PODCAST: E3 EDITION
Three or four of you were utterly heartbroken when we put Untitled Podcast on indefinite hiatus. I've already talked that point to death, so I won't waste your time with any more rambling on how weird my life is.
Anyway, it had occurred to me more than once over the last couple weeks that we should sit down for 2 episodes and do 'pre' and 'post' E3 shows. I approached Tony about it yesterday, and after a few long conversations, we agreed on some details and hashed out a rough schedule.
The 'PRE3' show is set to record tomorrow night, and the 'post-E3' show will record next weekend.
For the 'PRE3' episode, we'll do a quick 'what's new?' segment, then jump right into talking shit about various games and vaporware and hardware and whatever the hell we feel like talking about. And, yeah, it'll be around 2-3 hours.
Right now, I'm thinking we'll go Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony, and 'third party,' in that order, with each company being divided into games/hardware that we know will be there and rumored games/hardware that will be there. For the confirmed stuff, I think we'll just kinda throw out every game we or you care about, and then we'll sift through that, and comment on the stuff we wanna comment on.
For the second part, we'll each make some predictions, and then make fun of stupid annual rumors (M$'s mythical motion-controller.)
We'll bring our usual shit-talking cynicism, as well as genuine enthusiasm about the good games.
Of course, the most exciting stuff is always the surprise announcements (when they're both exciting and surprising, that is.) I'm kinda curious about this year, as I keep being told that Sony is gonna melt the brains of anyone that cares about games with some announcement that's even more staggering than the launch price of PlayStation 3. Right. We'll see.
I'd considered skipping Nintendo's press conference altogether this year, but my eyes need some exercise, and watching Iwata-san jerk himself off onto the faces of the screaming throng in the 'games press' corp is always interesting. And, against my advice, they're trotting out Cammie Dunaway again, so we get to hear about what middle-aged soccer moms like to do with vibrating phalluses for the second year in a row.
I, also, never miss a chance to watch Reggie Fils-Aime talk. I love that guy. He's the best thing about modern Nintendo, and M$/Sony need to have their talking heads watch how this guy does his thing, 'cause he's the best in terms of all the console execs that do E3 presentations. Once Peter Moore went to EA Sports, the mantle went to Reggie.
Oh no. I just realized I'm probably gonna have to sit through Jack Tretton (Sony) and Don Mattrick (M$) again. Boooring. Well, their presentations should, at least, be better than last year's. I have no idea why, but that's my belief. Sony should just have David Jaffe do theirs and M$ should just publicly execute all those douchebags with the 'cheater' mark on their gamercards. That would make for an exciting show.
I'm also looking forward to all of gametrailers.com's horrible off-screen shaky video of the games that, until I saw horrible off-screen shaky video of them, I was excited about. Oh, and I love the interviews with PR people having to scream so loud over the noise that they go hoarse in the course of the interview.
Actually, I'll be using a few sources to figure out where to focus my attention, aside from having some idea of what developers can be counted on to show a solid product. I'll be watching the aforementioned gametrailers.com, 1up.com, g4tv.com, and giantbomb.com to see what's what each day.
Anyway, so yeah, before we record tomorrow night, drop me a line here if you have anything in particular you wanna hear about, or anything you wanna comment on in advance about E3 in general or a particular game/company/whatever.
Infamous
I snagged Infamous yesterday, and it rocks. It's similar, mechanically, to Crackdown, but has Force powers and story, two big plusses.
I've played it quite a bit the last two days (Infamous and podcast prep are pretty much why I didn't post yesterday), and I really, really like it. It's sort of like a 'summer blockbuster' kinda game. It has a story, though it's not the deepest, it's VERY heavy on the action, it's got some amazingly thrilling moments, and big explosions. It's one of those games that, with its sandbox nature, you're able to make your own amazingly thrilling moments.
My only gripe so far is that while it's very forgiving in terms of death and allowing you to keep XP and all that, you die way too often. Maybe it's the way I play, but I've gotten very conservative in my approach to most shootouts (of course, I have lightning bolts instead of a gun), to minimize the the number of times that I make the jog that I know I'll have to make in order to get back to where I need to wipe out 20 dudes and three truck-mounted machine guns.
Also, there is nothing like kicking an annoying machine gunner in the crotch so hard that he goes flying off the top of the 20-story building you're fighting on top of.
Overall, though, this game kinda replaces Crackdown for me, at least until Crackdown 2 comes out (assuming it's better than the first.) I'll also be keeping an eye on APB (from the Crackdown devs) this E3, as well.
Lemme know what ya wanna hear about Friday night!
-Blaine
I love that kinda shit. Now, to set the tone for E3, lemme continue an annual tradition. Please watch this next.
I love that even more.
Now, onto business.
UNTITLED PODCAST: E3 EDITION
Three or four of you were utterly heartbroken when we put Untitled Podcast on indefinite hiatus. I've already talked that point to death, so I won't waste your time with any more rambling on how weird my life is.
Anyway, it had occurred to me more than once over the last couple weeks that we should sit down for 2 episodes and do 'pre' and 'post' E3 shows. I approached Tony about it yesterday, and after a few long conversations, we agreed on some details and hashed out a rough schedule.
The 'PRE3' show is set to record tomorrow night, and the 'post-E3' show will record next weekend.
For the 'PRE3' episode, we'll do a quick 'what's new?' segment, then jump right into talking shit about various games and vaporware and hardware and whatever the hell we feel like talking about. And, yeah, it'll be around 2-3 hours.
Right now, I'm thinking we'll go Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony, and 'third party,' in that order, with each company being divided into games/hardware that we know will be there and rumored games/hardware that will be there. For the confirmed stuff, I think we'll just kinda throw out every game we or you care about, and then we'll sift through that, and comment on the stuff we wanna comment on.
For the second part, we'll each make some predictions, and then make fun of stupid annual rumors (M$'s mythical motion-controller.)
We'll bring our usual shit-talking cynicism, as well as genuine enthusiasm about the good games.
Of course, the most exciting stuff is always the surprise announcements (when they're both exciting and surprising, that is.) I'm kinda curious about this year, as I keep being told that Sony is gonna melt the brains of anyone that cares about games with some announcement that's even more staggering than the launch price of PlayStation 3. Right. We'll see.
I'd considered skipping Nintendo's press conference altogether this year, but my eyes need some exercise, and watching Iwata-san jerk himself off onto the faces of the screaming throng in the 'games press' corp is always interesting. And, against my advice, they're trotting out Cammie Dunaway again, so we get to hear about what middle-aged soccer moms like to do with vibrating phalluses for the second year in a row.
I, also, never miss a chance to watch Reggie Fils-Aime talk. I love that guy. He's the best thing about modern Nintendo, and M$/Sony need to have their talking heads watch how this guy does his thing, 'cause he's the best in terms of all the console execs that do E3 presentations. Once Peter Moore went to EA Sports, the mantle went to Reggie.
Oh no. I just realized I'm probably gonna have to sit through Jack Tretton (Sony) and Don Mattrick (M$) again. Boooring. Well, their presentations should, at least, be better than last year's. I have no idea why, but that's my belief. Sony should just have David Jaffe do theirs and M$ should just publicly execute all those douchebags with the 'cheater' mark on their gamercards. That would make for an exciting show.
I'm also looking forward to all of gametrailers.com's horrible off-screen shaky video of the games that, until I saw horrible off-screen shaky video of them, I was excited about. Oh, and I love the interviews with PR people having to scream so loud over the noise that they go hoarse in the course of the interview.
Actually, I'll be using a few sources to figure out where to focus my attention, aside from having some idea of what developers can be counted on to show a solid product. I'll be watching the aforementioned gametrailers.com, 1up.com, g4tv.com, and giantbomb.com to see what's what each day.
Anyway, so yeah, before we record tomorrow night, drop me a line here if you have anything in particular you wanna hear about, or anything you wanna comment on in advance about E3 in general or a particular game/company/whatever.
Infamous
I snagged Infamous yesterday, and it rocks. It's similar, mechanically, to Crackdown, but has Force powers and story, two big plusses.
I've played it quite a bit the last two days (Infamous and podcast prep are pretty much why I didn't post yesterday), and I really, really like it. It's sort of like a 'summer blockbuster' kinda game. It has a story, though it's not the deepest, it's VERY heavy on the action, it's got some amazingly thrilling moments, and big explosions. It's one of those games that, with its sandbox nature, you're able to make your own amazingly thrilling moments.
My only gripe so far is that while it's very forgiving in terms of death and allowing you to keep XP and all that, you die way too often. Maybe it's the way I play, but I've gotten very conservative in my approach to most shootouts (of course, I have lightning bolts instead of a gun), to minimize the the number of times that I make the jog that I know I'll have to make in order to get back to where I need to wipe out 20 dudes and three truck-mounted machine guns.
Also, there is nothing like kicking an annoying machine gunner in the crotch so hard that he goes flying off the top of the 20-story building you're fighting on top of.
Overall, though, this game kinda replaces Crackdown for me, at least until Crackdown 2 comes out (assuming it's better than the first.) I'll also be keeping an eye on APB (from the Crackdown devs) this E3, as well.
Lemme know what ya wanna hear about Friday night!
-Blaine
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