I love technology, but I hate being fat. Those two statements go nearly hand in hand (except for you pretentious, skinny Mac apologists), which is unfortunate. We tech dudes have these brilliant minds, but our women become disgusted by us because we have become so fat that we are almost devolving into bloated masses that yap about how under-appreciated Linux is, or how humanity is utterly fucking itself by not being more aggressive with the space program, or how, deep in our overworked hearts, we know that Halo really isn't THAT great.
It's a tough balance, working in IT. While, generally, you are better than most people, it's hard to express that while they're staring at your hideous, jiggling, spherical form. I feel your pain, brother. You have so much to offer the world, but receive so little love. Your friends and parents 'help' by reminding you that you used to be a much better and more lovable person because you looked different than you look now, and your body shape was less embarrassing to them. Your wife suddenly develops a much greater interest in her nightly literature, and your penis, could you actually see it, now has cobwebs on it from disuse. You're not even entirely sure it's still there. Your children mock you and laugh at your immense girth.
It's time to make a change, bro. You're mad at all of them because the disdain and disappointment you see in their eyes is justified. You've failed. Every person's body is a marvel of organic technology, and you have been neglectful to your most important machine.
I feel your pain because I've failed in the exact same way. On my best days, I'm a fucking punchline to the worst fat joke you've ever heard.
Here's the good news: it's all in my control. I don't know if I just needed to get mad enough or what, but eating less has become much easier. The Bodybugg has been a tremendous help in tracking my progress, and giving me tangible goals, and a healthy dose of white-hot rage has definitely contributed, but I am the one who is making progress, I am the one who is limiting what I eat, I am the one getting on the treadmill when I need to, and I am the one who will reap the benefits of being athletic and sexy again.
What I'm really looking forward to is still being the super-smart, witty guy who's slightly technically inclined and very artistic, and then being a huge dick to people who treated me differently when I was 100 pounds overweight. I can't wait to be one of them, and then use it against them.
But, how to get there? How do we fat tech guys use our skillset to crush the skinny know-nothings under our Converse tennis shoes?
Well, here's what I've been doing.
First, you need a system. You should be good at this. Maybe use OpenOffice Calc or GoogleDocs to track your calorie intake. I've been using the aforementioned Bodybugg system, which is awesome since it attaches to my body and tracks my calorie burning while I enter my calorie intake, and also stores the values for any food I have to 'create' in the system (while it also already has a ton of existing foods).
Either way, design a system for yourself, but allow for some flexibility. Allow a system that is immediately challenging, but allows you some slack.
Let me put it this way. I initially started out by slashing my intake to 1000 calories and my activity to burning 3500. I knew that was an insane disparity, but it gave me a lot of room to ease into it. By honestly trying to limit how much I've been eating, and working toward that activity level, I've been able to hit an average of 3500 calories burnt per day, and have managed to come in it at less than 2000 per day, and the pounds have been coming off. Granted, this is for a very small sample size of two weeks, but I'm seeing more tangible results now than I've seen in any previous attempt at weight-loss. Every day, I am burning more calories than I'm consuming. Every day, I'm making progress.
The Bodybugg thing has been very helpful in getting it through my head that I can not only consume less than I burn, but that I can do so easily. I tend to shy away from things that take a lot of effort, and the initial pounds, because I'm so fat, have come off easily, which has fueled an even more fervent desire to shed even more pounds.
Additionally, I've worked hard to force myself to derive pleasure from things other than food. I think the main reason for my constant over-consumption is just that I enjoy delicious food waaay too much, and used it to self-medicate at times. By hammering at myself to stop counting on food as a pleasure source, it's decreased, and I do, honestly, enjoy it less. When I eat, I eat as fast as I can, to get it over with.
Back to the tech side, there's something about having to work with an interface several times a day that keeps me focused on attacking my fatness. My entering numbers and seeing graphs change, and moving sliders, I feel like I'm actively doing something helpful in regards to my weight.
Really, the Bodybugg has been fantastic and fun so far. What I'd do, though, if ya don't want to drop a bunch of money, is just aim for 1000 calories a day, but let yourself fail A LITTLE, if ya need. Just do that, and maintain your normal life otherwise.
The trade-off, though, has been my smoking. I was down to two smokes a day, but it's come back with a vengeance now. It's interesting to me that I never actually conquer anything. I always just shift the manifestation. Weird.
Also, to be a full geek, I love playing RPGs while I'm on the treadmill. It's perfect for turn-based RPGs like Lost Odyssey or any of the Final Fantasy games. I'm trying to get to a point where I only watch TV or play RPGs while I'm on the treadmill, but that's been hard on my knees.
Anyway, I'm six pounds lighter than I was two weeks ago, and plan on continuing the war. What about you? Are you a fat geek? What's your plan? Anyone out there actually recovered from their fatness?
Also, let me know if there's anything you want to hear about in regards to Writing Wednesday!
-Blaine
On sale now!
20090929
20090928
Manly Monday (round 2)
Whew. Hell of a week last week, followed by an interesting weekend. As you can gather from my deadpanned previous (Friday) post, I got a little beat-up, but managed to put some alcohol on it Friday night & Saturday night, which helped tremendously.
Friday, I hooked up w/ my old drummer for the first time in about 10 years ('hooked up' as in we went our for beers, not me unlocking his anus w/ my dick-key). We caught up, slowly got over the shock of sitting at a table together, and talked about what it means to be in your thirties with no clear direction in your professional life. I was glad that someone else thinks about that, too.
Saturday, I went to an all-day Driver Improvement Program for my 52-in-a-30 speeding ticket, and found myself simultaneously fascinated and nauseated by the fact that I was literally twice the age of the average attendant. Good times. I then went and podcasted with Tony. It was rad. I would say that this is the best podcast we've done in months. It's also the best TGS podcast we've done in about a year.
We, will, of course, be doing our Holiday Preview this Saturday, and are still gathering up all the games that you wanna hear about. If you're on the fence about something, want to learn more about a holiday release, or just wanna hear that game that you can't live without talked up some more, drop your list here. We'll take the most popular and the most interesting and then drone on about our tedious lives for two and a half hours while casually mentioning something that is very important to you.
Also, don't forget that tomorrow marks the first new Alice in Chains release in fourteen years. I've been listening to my review disc, and I gotta say that several of the tracks are pretty memorable, in a good way, and die-hard fans are going to be rewarded. It's got enough familiarity to it that you instantly recognize the band, but enough has changed that it stays interesting from start to finish.
I also snagged the new Star Trek Blu-Ray sets, Star Trek Season 2 Remastered and the Star Trek: the Next Generation films. Star Trek s2 includes the DS9 tribble episode, so it'll be the first time I've gotten to see Deep Space Nine in HD. DS9 has long been my favorite of all the Star Trek series, so it'll be a real treat to gaze lovingly upon it as my eyes are masturbated by the 1080p-ness of it all. I also just love any and all Star Trek in HD.
Anyway...
Manly Monday
In keeping with today's reader question, I wanted to direct this one to the ladies a bit.
It's pretty simple. Really.
Whether you mean to or not, you train your man. You do. It may not be obvious, but your man behaves and treats you in the way that you've taught him is acceptable.
Look, we men are simple creatures. We like food, competition, sex, and power. Manipulate those basic concepts, and you can train your man. Don't believe me? Read up on B.F. Skinner. Seriously.
A good man doesn't want to waste your time with needless discussion, and he's too focused on the simple things he can control to pick up on your 'signals,' so your best bet is too just implement your own schedule of reinforcement for him.
Now, before I continue, this is all based on a few assumptions. One, that this, in fact, a loving relationship and that you two desire nothing less than both partners succeeding and being happy people, two, that your man is a good man but still a man and therefore a basic primate, and three, he is not a paranoid schizophrenic.
Additionally, none of this is meant for serious issues. This is for those annoying 'little things' that he does (or doesn't do).
So, let's cover some basic concepts. One, the behavior that you want to encourage and see more of is rewarded by you. Two, the behavior that you wish to get rid of is punished. I know that these seem kind of like 'duh' sort of things, but you'd be amazed how easily these things can get lost in a relationship. After just a couple years of marriage, great things about your partner will be taken for granted by you, and vice versa. Don't believe me? Go out with couples that you're friendly with, and you'll see just how fucking awful your marriage could be. It happens to us all the time.
Hopefully, the first thing that happens when you start thinking about existing behaviors that you want reinforced is that you start to realize that, in at least some ways, you have it good with your man. If not, it may be time to trade him in to the dealer.
Odds are, though, that there is some existing negative behavior that has led you to the point of considering training your mate like he was a dog.
Don't feel bad, though. Men need this. You know how you have that one female friend that lets her man get away with anything and everything? Do you want to be her? No, I didn't think so.
And that's the thing. Don't we unconsciously train our friends and lovers? We react with laughter and smiles and affection when they do something to earn that from us, and we do quite the opposite when they earn our ire, as well.
So, this is just like that, but on a more precise level.
Let's take something simple. Let's say he leaves his dirty socks all over the house.
First, give him a chance. Ask him once. If you're the one that does the laundry in the relationship, tell him it makes things much easier for you if all the dirty laundry is in one place.
He now knows that there is an expectation. From there, you now stringently live in the boundaries that you verbally outlined for him. If he lives his shit lying around, you don't need to be a bitch about it, but you can smile a little when he's out of clean socks. If he says something about it, tell him you'd be happy to help him remedy the issue if he could take a moment, go around the house, and then deposit them in the designated location, and do so in a kind manner. Mean it when you say it.
Now, let's say he starts to actually correct his behavior over the next few weeks. Let's say he starts being a little neater in general. When you see him doing something right in regards to his neatness, give him a little extra lovin'. Or, let's say he goes out of his way to try and impress you by starting to do the laundry himself or maybe he tries to have the place looking a little nicer for you. Make damn sure you reward him, in whatever way you see fit.
What'll probably happen, if he starts catching on, is that he'll unconsciously try to slack off a little, and get back to a comfortable, lazy place. Ease off on the 'rewarding' a bit, but then reinforce good behavior as soon as you can. Of course, communicating straight-up in these situations helps quite a bit, too, but he should make a point of knowing your expectation.
Also, be sure to tie the reward/punishment directly to whatever behavior you're targeting. Mete out the feedback as quickly as you can, even if it's doing a little playful teasing at that moment, with the potential to follow up later.
Speaking as a well-trained husband who's training is ever-continuing, I can assure that clear, literal communication, coupled with the above conditioning parameters can smooth your marriage considerably.
Lastly, speaking as a man, all of this works wonders in bed, as well. We love nothing more than knowing that we're rocking your world, or not. Exaggerate your breathing or noises a little when we're doing something that you want more of, and use subtle silence to get us to move on to something else if what we're doing is quite what ya need. Afterward, bring it up, and couch it in terms of 'THAT one thing was AWESOME, and maybe you could linger on THAT instead of doing THAT OTHER THING.' We want little more in life than knowing that we're the guy who does it for ya better than anyone else has ever even dreamed.
Reader Questions
This one comes from Tami in Maine. She asks,
Dear Blaine,
How do I ask my much-loved but oh-so-manly guy to do something around the house and make it sound like I'm not nagging? I don't want to nag, I just want to be able to vaccuum behind the fridge without an avalanche of stuff (not mine) falling on my head when I pull the damn thing away from the wall.
signed,
Sick of listening to the fridge run non-stop
I've been noticing lately that I know a lot of women who don't want to sound like they're nagging, but fear that they may be compelled to do so if their man doesn't get on something STAT.
What's sad is that my wife has been there before, with me, and still runs into this with me.
I suggest trying one of the following.
First, the simplest and best thing for everyone involved is saying, 'Can you take care of [X] for me? It'd mean a lot to me so that I can [do Y].' Now, if he's anything like me, he'll smile, assure that it's not a problem, advise you that he'll get to it later, and that never quite find that right moment in which to do it.
Second, you could try a simple barter. Make it into something interesting. Offer something he would value in exchange for his compliance with your directive. My wife has used everything from food to being willing to sit through an action/horror flicks with me to foot massages to more suggestive propositions, and that's worked nicely, though she does point out that I should just get off my ass and do it, in order to be an equal partner in our fortress of love.
Third, you do live in Maine, where it's always winter, and where Stephen King's monsters are running. You could just wait 'til he's in undies, then shove him outside, barricade the door, and tell him that the only way in is through the fridge, so if he'll just agree to do something about all of his shit there, you'd be glad to let him back in, before he dies of exposure or by being eaten by a terrible hell-demon.
Fourth, and this just occurred to me, wait 'til he's chilling, then start doing your vacuuming, and when you get to that moment, ask him to give you a hand with the fridge. Put him on the spot. Or tell him as soon as you start vacuuming, and say 'in 5 minutes, I'm gonna move that fridge, and you're going to help me.'
Hey, fellow men, any other thoughts on this? What have your wives/girlfriends/partners done to 'train you,' or get your motivated in some way?
Ladies, what tricks work for you?
I'll feature the best stuff in next week's Manly Monday!
Need some input on that once white-hot relationship turned festering marriage? Lemme know! I have a hot, happy wife, so I'm an expert!
-Blaine
Tomorrow: Tech Tuesday. We're talkin' games tomorrow, kids!
Friday, I hooked up w/ my old drummer for the first time in about 10 years ('hooked up' as in we went our for beers, not me unlocking his anus w/ my dick-key). We caught up, slowly got over the shock of sitting at a table together, and talked about what it means to be in your thirties with no clear direction in your professional life. I was glad that someone else thinks about that, too.
Saturday, I went to an all-day Driver Improvement Program for my 52-in-a-30 speeding ticket, and found myself simultaneously fascinated and nauseated by the fact that I was literally twice the age of the average attendant. Good times. I then went and podcasted with Tony. It was rad. I would say that this is the best podcast we've done in months. It's also the best TGS podcast we've done in about a year.
We, will, of course, be doing our Holiday Preview this Saturday, and are still gathering up all the games that you wanna hear about. If you're on the fence about something, want to learn more about a holiday release, or just wanna hear that game that you can't live without talked up some more, drop your list here. We'll take the most popular and the most interesting and then drone on about our tedious lives for two and a half hours while casually mentioning something that is very important to you.
Also, don't forget that tomorrow marks the first new Alice in Chains release in fourteen years. I've been listening to my review disc, and I gotta say that several of the tracks are pretty memorable, in a good way, and die-hard fans are going to be rewarded. It's got enough familiarity to it that you instantly recognize the band, but enough has changed that it stays interesting from start to finish.
I also snagged the new Star Trek Blu-Ray sets, Star Trek Season 2 Remastered and the Star Trek: the Next Generation films. Star Trek s2 includes the DS9 tribble episode, so it'll be the first time I've gotten to see Deep Space Nine in HD. DS9 has long been my favorite of all the Star Trek series, so it'll be a real treat to gaze lovingly upon it as my eyes are masturbated by the 1080p-ness of it all. I also just love any and all Star Trek in HD.
Anyway...
Manly Monday
In keeping with today's reader question, I wanted to direct this one to the ladies a bit.
It's pretty simple. Really.
Whether you mean to or not, you train your man. You do. It may not be obvious, but your man behaves and treats you in the way that you've taught him is acceptable.
Look, we men are simple creatures. We like food, competition, sex, and power. Manipulate those basic concepts, and you can train your man. Don't believe me? Read up on B.F. Skinner. Seriously.
A good man doesn't want to waste your time with needless discussion, and he's too focused on the simple things he can control to pick up on your 'signals,' so your best bet is too just implement your own schedule of reinforcement for him.
Now, before I continue, this is all based on a few assumptions. One, that this, in fact, a loving relationship and that you two desire nothing less than both partners succeeding and being happy people, two, that your man is a good man but still a man and therefore a basic primate, and three, he is not a paranoid schizophrenic.
Additionally, none of this is meant for serious issues. This is for those annoying 'little things' that he does (or doesn't do).
So, let's cover some basic concepts. One, the behavior that you want to encourage and see more of is rewarded by you. Two, the behavior that you wish to get rid of is punished. I know that these seem kind of like 'duh' sort of things, but you'd be amazed how easily these things can get lost in a relationship. After just a couple years of marriage, great things about your partner will be taken for granted by you, and vice versa. Don't believe me? Go out with couples that you're friendly with, and you'll see just how fucking awful your marriage could be. It happens to us all the time.
Hopefully, the first thing that happens when you start thinking about existing behaviors that you want reinforced is that you start to realize that, in at least some ways, you have it good with your man. If not, it may be time to trade him in to the dealer.
Odds are, though, that there is some existing negative behavior that has led you to the point of considering training your mate like he was a dog.
Don't feel bad, though. Men need this. You know how you have that one female friend that lets her man get away with anything and everything? Do you want to be her? No, I didn't think so.
And that's the thing. Don't we unconsciously train our friends and lovers? We react with laughter and smiles and affection when they do something to earn that from us, and we do quite the opposite when they earn our ire, as well.
So, this is just like that, but on a more precise level.
Let's take something simple. Let's say he leaves his dirty socks all over the house.
First, give him a chance. Ask him once. If you're the one that does the laundry in the relationship, tell him it makes things much easier for you if all the dirty laundry is in one place.
He now knows that there is an expectation. From there, you now stringently live in the boundaries that you verbally outlined for him. If he lives his shit lying around, you don't need to be a bitch about it, but you can smile a little when he's out of clean socks. If he says something about it, tell him you'd be happy to help him remedy the issue if he could take a moment, go around the house, and then deposit them in the designated location, and do so in a kind manner. Mean it when you say it.
Now, let's say he starts to actually correct his behavior over the next few weeks. Let's say he starts being a little neater in general. When you see him doing something right in regards to his neatness, give him a little extra lovin'. Or, let's say he goes out of his way to try and impress you by starting to do the laundry himself or maybe he tries to have the place looking a little nicer for you. Make damn sure you reward him, in whatever way you see fit.
What'll probably happen, if he starts catching on, is that he'll unconsciously try to slack off a little, and get back to a comfortable, lazy place. Ease off on the 'rewarding' a bit, but then reinforce good behavior as soon as you can. Of course, communicating straight-up in these situations helps quite a bit, too, but he should make a point of knowing your expectation.
Also, be sure to tie the reward/punishment directly to whatever behavior you're targeting. Mete out the feedback as quickly as you can, even if it's doing a little playful teasing at that moment, with the potential to follow up later.
Speaking as a well-trained husband who's training is ever-continuing, I can assure that clear, literal communication, coupled with the above conditioning parameters can smooth your marriage considerably.
Lastly, speaking as a man, all of this works wonders in bed, as well. We love nothing more than knowing that we're rocking your world, or not. Exaggerate your breathing or noises a little when we're doing something that you want more of, and use subtle silence to get us to move on to something else if what we're doing is quite what ya need. Afterward, bring it up, and couch it in terms of 'THAT one thing was AWESOME, and maybe you could linger on THAT instead of doing THAT OTHER THING.' We want little more in life than knowing that we're the guy who does it for ya better than anyone else has ever even dreamed.
Reader Questions
This one comes from Tami in Maine. She asks,
Dear Blaine,
How do I ask my much-loved but oh-so-manly guy to do something around the house and make it sound like I'm not nagging? I don't want to nag, I just want to be able to vaccuum behind the fridge without an avalanche of stuff (not mine) falling on my head when I pull the damn thing away from the wall.
signed,
Sick of listening to the fridge run non-stop
I've been noticing lately that I know a lot of women who don't want to sound like they're nagging, but fear that they may be compelled to do so if their man doesn't get on something STAT.
What's sad is that my wife has been there before, with me, and still runs into this with me.
I suggest trying one of the following.
First, the simplest and best thing for everyone involved is saying, 'Can you take care of [X] for me? It'd mean a lot to me so that I can [do Y].' Now, if he's anything like me, he'll smile, assure that it's not a problem, advise you that he'll get to it later, and that never quite find that right moment in which to do it.
Second, you could try a simple barter. Make it into something interesting. Offer something he would value in exchange for his compliance with your directive. My wife has used everything from food to being willing to sit through an action/horror flicks with me to foot massages to more suggestive propositions, and that's worked nicely, though she does point out that I should just get off my ass and do it, in order to be an equal partner in our fortress of love.
Third, you do live in Maine, where it's always winter, and where Stephen King's monsters are running. You could just wait 'til he's in undies, then shove him outside, barricade the door, and tell him that the only way in is through the fridge, so if he'll just agree to do something about all of his shit there, you'd be glad to let him back in, before he dies of exposure or by being eaten by a terrible hell-demon.
Fourth, and this just occurred to me, wait 'til he's chilling, then start doing your vacuuming, and when you get to that moment, ask him to give you a hand with the fridge. Put him on the spot. Or tell him as soon as you start vacuuming, and say 'in 5 minutes, I'm gonna move that fridge, and you're going to help me.'
Hey, fellow men, any other thoughts on this? What have your wives/girlfriends/partners done to 'train you,' or get your motivated in some way?
Ladies, what tricks work for you?
I'll feature the best stuff in next week's Manly Monday!
Need some input on that once white-hot relationship turned festering marriage? Lemme know! I have a hot, happy wife, so I'm an expert!
-Blaine
Tomorrow: Tech Tuesday. We're talkin' games tomorrow, kids!
20090925
It's time to fuck off
Sorry about not posting yesterday, but until you cats start mailing me cash, I need to yield my time to my actual 'job' job. I was running all over campus all day yesterday, so time was rather pinched. It was good to actually move around a lot and get a bit of a work-out.
Anyway, I've also been devoting a lot of time to prepping for tomorrow's podcast. We'll be rampaging through all the non-shit games from Tokyo Game Show, and very generously sharing our unfiltered opinions. We'll be taking any requests for games to include until Saturday evening.
I am horribly tired right now, so I'm not going to post a ton today. It's been a brutally busy week, and I've been running myself ragged.
So, what's been going on? Well, I had some really tough exams Monday & Wednesday, I was sick Tuesday, then ran my ass off for work yesterday. I've also not been sleeping much, and dieting does weird things to my brain. If I sound like I'm whining, I'm not, and you're retarded. I'm just trying give a proper context for my utter inability to post 5 times in a week.
Anyway, I need to stop trying so hard to make a point of enjoying myself each day, and just sleep more. I'll feel much better, physically, each day if I can do that.
Blah. Time to get the hell over it.
Anyway, I'll post either Saturday or Sunday on here, when the podcast is up.
So, in the meantime, please let me know what games ya wanna hear about.
Also, Monday is 'Manly Monday' again, so hit me up with any man advice, love advice, anything pertaining to being a man or about your man. I'm here for you. Kinda.
For now, I'm going to wrap up my work day, then crawl into a hole at home for a few hours before going out with some of my bandmates. Should be an interesting evening. We'll be @ the Pink Galleon @ Olive & Fee-Fee tonight if anyone wants to come out and stand near us while we consume alcohol.
-Blaine
Anyway, I've also been devoting a lot of time to prepping for tomorrow's podcast. We'll be rampaging through all the non-shit games from Tokyo Game Show, and very generously sharing our unfiltered opinions. We'll be taking any requests for games to include until Saturday evening.
I am horribly tired right now, so I'm not going to post a ton today. It's been a brutally busy week, and I've been running myself ragged.
So, what's been going on? Well, I had some really tough exams Monday & Wednesday, I was sick Tuesday, then ran my ass off for work yesterday. I've also not been sleeping much, and dieting does weird things to my brain. If I sound like I'm whining, I'm not, and you're retarded. I'm just trying give a proper context for my utter inability to post 5 times in a week.
Anyway, I need to stop trying so hard to make a point of enjoying myself each day, and just sleep more. I'll feel much better, physically, each day if I can do that.
Blah. Time to get the hell over it.
Anyway, I'll post either Saturday or Sunday on here, when the podcast is up.
So, in the meantime, please let me know what games ya wanna hear about.
Also, Monday is 'Manly Monday' again, so hit me up with any man advice, love advice, anything pertaining to being a man or about your man. I'm here for you. Kinda.
For now, I'm going to wrap up my work day, then crawl into a hole at home for a few hours before going out with some of my bandmates. Should be an interesting evening. We'll be @ the Pink Galleon @ Olive & Fee-Fee tonight if anyone wants to come out and stand near us while we consume alcohol.
-Blaine
20090923
Writing Wednesday #2: Continuing the Story
The only thing harder than starting something new is finishing it. Whether it be playing a Japanese RPG, reading one of my books, bringing a woman to orgasm, or writing your own fiction, it can be tremendously hard to finish something you started.
Have no fear, though. I can at least help you with the writing bit. And I do know my way around a few JRPGs.
So, you've got a solid idea, you have some idea about the execution, you've gotten a bit of it hammered out, and now it's the next day. Or the next week. Maybe even a year later, and you kinda beat yourself up over letting that once-grand story just sit and fester. Sometimes you load it up, stare at it, maybe add a sentence or so, then shut it down in frustration.
That's totally normal. I honestly believe that this is the fate of most stories.
When I was initially writing the first Endless Wars book, I had more than a few moments like that. Sometimes, I was able to get past it by simply leaning back, sucking down a drink, and puffing down a smoke. It was a matter of just getting into the right head space.
That was sometimes. More often that not, though, that didn't put me into the right mental space.
I'm a firm believer in warming up. Whether it be athletics, programming, mathematics, sex, or writing, I need to get the engines revved first.
With writing, I like to go back to everything I wrote in the previous session, and start really editing it. By doing that, I find that my mind starts to re-shape itself into what it needs to be for that story. Every story has its own distinct personality, and it's important to get back in touch with that before banging out new ideas. Now, if you're writing on it every day, this may be less needed, but if you're coming back to something for the first time in a while, it's almost required, just so you know what the hell is going on in your story, if nothing else.
Even when I'm writing on something every day, I find that this helps me not only get my mind right, but it also allows me to take a more critical eye to the previous day's work, since I'm not totally into that space yet. You want as many different perspectives on your own work as possible, and since I generally don't share works in progress with others, this lets me act as my own on-the-fly editor, at least until I'm done.
If you're a persistent drunk, this is almost necessary, since a) you may or may not remember the actual events that transpired in your story the night before, and b) you may also have some rather egregious issues in your spelling and grammar.
Oh, and you know how some things seem like a great idea when you're drunk (climbing on your roof, knife-throwing contests, eating White Castle, sharing your true feelings with your boss via email, waking your wife up for drunk sex @ 6AM, etc.), but make you want to move to a remote part of the Yukon the next day? Well, the same applies to your book, so you may want to take a peek at how melodramatic and annoying you made your main character the night before.
Back to general editing, though, what I like most about this is that not only do I get pulled back into my book this way, but I get excited about banging out new material, so that when I'm done editing the last session, I hit the ground running, and I'm fired up about my new ideas.
Additionally, if I think about the current project while I'm in the shower, just after waking, I find that a lot of good ideas come to me then. Sometimes, I'll write them down, or I'll just salivate over them the rest of the day, and find myself chomping at the bit to get moving on the book again.
Another important key is building a process, especially if you're not the most practiced writer. Find a space in which you like to write, as well as the right music, and maybe even time of day. Sometimes there's a particular daily activity that, if you follow it immediately with writing, you churn out good work.
When I wrote the bulk of my book, I used to do it immediately after work, at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon (I would get up at the ass-crack of dawn to rip the guts out of chicken and then marinate them by the the hundreds all day), with music on and a movie on. I needed as much chaos as possible at that time. I would usually drink and chain-smoke, too. I would do that for about an hour or two each day. I cranked out the majority of my book doing that.
Now, if you start to really get somewhere as a writer, don't become a slave to your process. I know that this flies in the face of what most other writers will tell you, but they're cowardly pussies who like to make excuses for the lack of challenge they give themselves. Own your process and writing talent, and make them both work for you.
Additionally, when I was still in a band, most of my great song ideas would come to me while I was driving. It was a bit annoying, since guitar riffs are hard to preserve in your head for as long as I needed them to, sometimes. I think some of my best songs came from cruising the dirty city streets in my 1991 Pontiac Transport minivan back when I was a teenager. Make note of when your best ideas come to you, and what you're doing at those moments.
Nowadays, my biggest hurdle is just time. I'm actually trying to build a more consistent day-to-day schedule, so that I can get way too many things done. I'll admit that I don't crank on the fiction like I used to, but that's changing. The second Endless Wars book has a very solid beginning, and my G-doc project is still rattling in my brain, daring me to fail.
Really, time is a bitch, and is probably the greatest enemy of any unaccomplished writer. I know that I certainly don't have the time I'd like for my fiction, especially when I'm cranking out blogs like this, but it'll come. I know what I had to do to write that first book, I'm applying lessons learned from that to the second book, but I'm also learning what unique demands this book is making.
The bottom line, though, for any serious writer is the following: a page a day. Period. Even if it's crap. A page a day will get you to the point where your biggest worry is finding an agent and having a finished novel that you want to publish.
So, to recap:
- start out by editing the previous session's work; get yourself a running start into the new material; you will also see things that need to be addressed NOW, which is a bonus
- develop a process; discover the right location, music, habits, lighting, time of day, etc. that help you succeed as a writer
- A page a day. Seriously. A page a day. Do it. A page a day.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- Any current events you wanna hear about tomorrow? It'll be Thopical Thursday (a terrible attempt at a pun, I know, but just play along), so I'll be grabbing some poor, defenseless recent topic and beating the shit out of it. I'm thinking about addressing people's obsession with weird, unimportant shit like Kanye (the brand of a product) interrupting another brand's product placement award, to express dissatisfaction that a different ad hadn't been selected as 'the best' at selling products. I dunno. I sometimes feel like in a science fiction world where the advertisement has become more important than the actual product. Yes, this does sound like a great topic.
- I mentioned the Bodybugg on Monday, and I've now lost 4 pounds in the first 6 days. I don't expect that pace to continue, given the way weight loss works, but it is pleasing in the short term. I have a fuck-ton more weight to drop before I can make non-crazy people accept that a classy chick like my wife would actually copulate with me.
I believe that is all for now.
How is your writing going? Or any other creative project you may be taking on? Any advice you wanna contribute to those having trouble continuing to work on a creative project? Are you seeking any advice? Post it in the comments below!
-Blaine
Have no fear, though. I can at least help you with the writing bit. And I do know my way around a few JRPGs.
So, you've got a solid idea, you have some idea about the execution, you've gotten a bit of it hammered out, and now it's the next day. Or the next week. Maybe even a year later, and you kinda beat yourself up over letting that once-grand story just sit and fester. Sometimes you load it up, stare at it, maybe add a sentence or so, then shut it down in frustration.
That's totally normal. I honestly believe that this is the fate of most stories.
When I was initially writing the first Endless Wars book, I had more than a few moments like that. Sometimes, I was able to get past it by simply leaning back, sucking down a drink, and puffing down a smoke. It was a matter of just getting into the right head space.
That was sometimes. More often that not, though, that didn't put me into the right mental space.
I'm a firm believer in warming up. Whether it be athletics, programming, mathematics, sex, or writing, I need to get the engines revved first.
With writing, I like to go back to everything I wrote in the previous session, and start really editing it. By doing that, I find that my mind starts to re-shape itself into what it needs to be for that story. Every story has its own distinct personality, and it's important to get back in touch with that before banging out new ideas. Now, if you're writing on it every day, this may be less needed, but if you're coming back to something for the first time in a while, it's almost required, just so you know what the hell is going on in your story, if nothing else.
Even when I'm writing on something every day, I find that this helps me not only get my mind right, but it also allows me to take a more critical eye to the previous day's work, since I'm not totally into that space yet. You want as many different perspectives on your own work as possible, and since I generally don't share works in progress with others, this lets me act as my own on-the-fly editor, at least until I'm done.
If you're a persistent drunk, this is almost necessary, since a) you may or may not remember the actual events that transpired in your story the night before, and b) you may also have some rather egregious issues in your spelling and grammar.
Oh, and you know how some things seem like a great idea when you're drunk (climbing on your roof, knife-throwing contests, eating White Castle, sharing your true feelings with your boss via email, waking your wife up for drunk sex @ 6AM, etc.), but make you want to move to a remote part of the Yukon the next day? Well, the same applies to your book, so you may want to take a peek at how melodramatic and annoying you made your main character the night before.
Back to general editing, though, what I like most about this is that not only do I get pulled back into my book this way, but I get excited about banging out new material, so that when I'm done editing the last session, I hit the ground running, and I'm fired up about my new ideas.
Additionally, if I think about the current project while I'm in the shower, just after waking, I find that a lot of good ideas come to me then. Sometimes, I'll write them down, or I'll just salivate over them the rest of the day, and find myself chomping at the bit to get moving on the book again.
Another important key is building a process, especially if you're not the most practiced writer. Find a space in which you like to write, as well as the right music, and maybe even time of day. Sometimes there's a particular daily activity that, if you follow it immediately with writing, you churn out good work.
When I wrote the bulk of my book, I used to do it immediately after work, at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon (I would get up at the ass-crack of dawn to rip the guts out of chicken and then marinate them by the the hundreds all day), with music on and a movie on. I needed as much chaos as possible at that time. I would usually drink and chain-smoke, too. I would do that for about an hour or two each day. I cranked out the majority of my book doing that.
Now, if you start to really get somewhere as a writer, don't become a slave to your process. I know that this flies in the face of what most other writers will tell you, but they're cowardly pussies who like to make excuses for the lack of challenge they give themselves. Own your process and writing talent, and make them both work for you.
Additionally, when I was still in a band, most of my great song ideas would come to me while I was driving. It was a bit annoying, since guitar riffs are hard to preserve in your head for as long as I needed them to, sometimes. I think some of my best songs came from cruising the dirty city streets in my 1991 Pontiac Transport minivan back when I was a teenager. Make note of when your best ideas come to you, and what you're doing at those moments.
Nowadays, my biggest hurdle is just time. I'm actually trying to build a more consistent day-to-day schedule, so that I can get way too many things done. I'll admit that I don't crank on the fiction like I used to, but that's changing. The second Endless Wars book has a very solid beginning, and my G-doc project is still rattling in my brain, daring me to fail.
Really, time is a bitch, and is probably the greatest enemy of any unaccomplished writer. I know that I certainly don't have the time I'd like for my fiction, especially when I'm cranking out blogs like this, but it'll come. I know what I had to do to write that first book, I'm applying lessons learned from that to the second book, but I'm also learning what unique demands this book is making.
The bottom line, though, for any serious writer is the following: a page a day. Period. Even if it's crap. A page a day will get you to the point where your biggest worry is finding an agent and having a finished novel that you want to publish.
So, to recap:
- start out by editing the previous session's work; get yourself a running start into the new material; you will also see things that need to be addressed NOW, which is a bonus
- develop a process; discover the right location, music, habits, lighting, time of day, etc. that help you succeed as a writer
- A page a day. Seriously. A page a day. Do it. A page a day.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- Any current events you wanna hear about tomorrow? It'll be Thopical Thursday (a terrible attempt at a pun, I know, but just play along), so I'll be grabbing some poor, defenseless recent topic and beating the shit out of it. I'm thinking about addressing people's obsession with weird, unimportant shit like Kanye (the brand of a product) interrupting another brand's product placement award, to express dissatisfaction that a different ad hadn't been selected as 'the best' at selling products. I dunno. I sometimes feel like in a science fiction world where the advertisement has become more important than the actual product. Yes, this does sound like a great topic.
- I mentioned the Bodybugg on Monday, and I've now lost 4 pounds in the first 6 days. I don't expect that pace to continue, given the way weight loss works, but it is pleasing in the short term. I have a fuck-ton more weight to drop before I can make non-crazy people accept that a classy chick like my wife would actually copulate with me.
I believe that is all for now.
How is your writing going? Or any other creative project you may be taking on? Any advice you wanna contribute to those having trouble continuing to work on a creative project? Are you seeking any advice? Post it in the comments below!
-Blaine
20090922
Techie Tuesday #1
I had a few different versions of today's post I was working on and kicking around, but then Adam, in his comment yesterday, asked me what RSS is. It dawned me then that I'm one of the only people I know who use RSS, and this is a great thing to share with anyone who uses the internet as a news and info-gathering source.
First, what is RSS?
RSS stands for 'Really Simple Syndication.' Basically, it's a way to deliver new content to 'subscribers' of sites. Every site worth a shit offers a means of aggregating their updates nowadays.
For example, when pearljam.com updates, the new item on the site shows up in my Google Reader. Instead of having to waste an hour or more 'surfing' the net, hitting all my regular sites, I just comb through my Google Reader and get caught up on what I care about.
Okay, so what is Google Reader?
Google Reader is my preferred RSS reader. It acts as a hub for all your feeds, and lets you organize them as you'd like. It can also be accessed through your phone, or you can use Prism (or a little know-how) to make it its own pseudo-stand-alone app on your machine.
There's some other more advanced 'sharing' stuff you can do with G-Reader, but we'll save that for another post. Seriously, it's one of my favorite web-apps out there.
Fine. So how do I go about adding feeds to my Google Reader?
First, log into Google Reader with your Google account, and make sure your login is cool.
Then, start hitting your favorite sites. Like this one.
Let's pretend you have excellent taste, and want to know the moment I update my blog.
To do this, scroll down to just above my graveyard of embedded shit (the ESPN scores, XBox Live Gamercard, etc.) and look for 'Subscribe to: Posts (Atom), then click on it. It should flip to a page either asking what kind of app you want to use to subscribe to this feed, or it'll take you to a Google page asking if you want this in your Reader or Google home page. You want it in your Reader.
If for some reason you don't get either of those, you can right-click on the Atom link and 'save target as,' then paste that directly into Google Reader by clicking on 'Add a subscription' in the top left of the page.
Additionally, a lotta sites, like this one, will show this symbol in the URL bar:
If you click on that, it'll either have the same functionality as the above, or it'll give you a few choices as to what kind of subscription you want. I always default to the highest version of RSS, if possible, or Atom.
Okay, that's all done, so now what?
We'll talk more in the future about the deeper features of Google Reader, but know that you can create embeddable objects (like I have) for your blogs and pages that show your latest 'shared' items (sharing is located at the bottom of each item in your feed), you can network w/ folks who have similar tastes using the 'like' option at the bottom of each feed item (which you can use to push your own shit), and you can customize and organize your news any way you want. I break mine into sub-categories, but usually tackle the whole mess (I have about 200 unique feeds in mine) twice a day in chronological order.
Among my favorite feeds:
Laurance's blog
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams blog
Ars Technica (techie stuff)
Bernie Miklasz's blog
Bioware blog
Bird Land
Iris's blog
Cody's gaming blog
Jorge Garcia's blog
EFF
ESPN - MLB
Felicia Day's blog
Gamasutra (game industry news)
Jeff Green's blog
Hot Stove League (Cardinals blog)
Jono Bacon's blog (Ubuntu)
Mozilla Labs
Penny Arcade
rwnin infosec blog
slashdot
STL Sports Nation
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Cardinals' coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Mizzou coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams' coverage
Stop All Monsters
Hollywood Reporter - Film
Hollywood Reporter - TV
1UP Gaming News
The Onion
Tipsheet
Ubuntu News
Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition
Aaand, that's probably way more than enough.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- tonight is the season finale for Warehouse 13, which has undergone an amazing transformation. It started out as one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, but I hung in there because of the concept, and was rewarded by some dramatic improvements to the show. I wanted nothing more than the two leads to die slowly at first, but after about 5 or 6 episodes, I stopped hating them, and I actually kinda liked them a bit. Now, it's actually a really fun show, and I urge you to go back and give it a shot.
- still loving the new Pearl Jam, Backspacer. If you stupidly walked away from them a few years ago because they had expanded beyond what your tiny mind can handle, give them a listen now.
- tomorrow is Writing Wednesday, and I'll be talking about how to come back to that piece that ya started in earnest, then never quite got back to. It happens to all of us, but I have a few tricks for getting that spark and drive back. I'm also taking any and all writing-related questions, so post 'em in the comments if ya got 'em!
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
First, what is RSS?
RSS stands for 'Really Simple Syndication.' Basically, it's a way to deliver new content to 'subscribers' of sites. Every site worth a shit offers a means of aggregating their updates nowadays.
For example, when pearljam.com updates, the new item on the site shows up in my Google Reader. Instead of having to waste an hour or more 'surfing' the net, hitting all my regular sites, I just comb through my Google Reader and get caught up on what I care about.
Okay, so what is Google Reader?
Google Reader is my preferred RSS reader. It acts as a hub for all your feeds, and lets you organize them as you'd like. It can also be accessed through your phone, or you can use Prism (or a little know-how) to make it its own pseudo-stand-alone app on your machine.
There's some other more advanced 'sharing' stuff you can do with G-Reader, but we'll save that for another post. Seriously, it's one of my favorite web-apps out there.
Fine. So how do I go about adding feeds to my Google Reader?
First, log into Google Reader with your Google account, and make sure your login is cool.
Then, start hitting your favorite sites. Like this one.
Let's pretend you have excellent taste, and want to know the moment I update my blog.
To do this, scroll down to just above my graveyard of embedded shit (the ESPN scores, XBox Live Gamercard, etc.) and look for 'Subscribe to: Posts (Atom), then click on it. It should flip to a page either asking what kind of app you want to use to subscribe to this feed, or it'll take you to a Google page asking if you want this in your Reader or Google home page. You want it in your Reader.
If for some reason you don't get either of those, you can right-click on the Atom link and 'save target as,' then paste that directly into Google Reader by clicking on 'Add a subscription' in the top left of the page.
Additionally, a lotta sites, like this one, will show this symbol in the URL bar:
If you click on that, it'll either have the same functionality as the above, or it'll give you a few choices as to what kind of subscription you want. I always default to the highest version of RSS, if possible, or Atom.
Okay, that's all done, so now what?
We'll talk more in the future about the deeper features of Google Reader, but know that you can create embeddable objects (like I have) for your blogs and pages that show your latest 'shared' items (sharing is located at the bottom of each item in your feed), you can network w/ folks who have similar tastes using the 'like' option at the bottom of each feed item (which you can use to push your own shit), and you can customize and organize your news any way you want. I break mine into sub-categories, but usually tackle the whole mess (I have about 200 unique feeds in mine) twice a day in chronological order.
Among my favorite feeds:
Laurance's blog
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams blog
Ars Technica (techie stuff)
Bernie Miklasz's blog
Bioware blog
Bird Land
Iris's blog
Cody's gaming blog
Jorge Garcia's blog
EFF
ESPN - MLB
Felicia Day's blog
Gamasutra (game industry news)
Jeff Green's blog
Hot Stove League (Cardinals blog)
Jono Bacon's blog (Ubuntu)
Mozilla Labs
Penny Arcade
rwnin infosec blog
slashdot
STL Sports Nation
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Cardinals' coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Mizzou coverage
St. Louis Post-Dispatch Rams' coverage
Stop All Monsters
Hollywood Reporter - Film
Hollywood Reporter - TV
1UP Gaming News
The Onion
Tipsheet
Ubuntu News
Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition
Aaand, that's probably way more than enough.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- tonight is the season finale for Warehouse 13, which has undergone an amazing transformation. It started out as one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, but I hung in there because of the concept, and was rewarded by some dramatic improvements to the show. I wanted nothing more than the two leads to die slowly at first, but after about 5 or 6 episodes, I stopped hating them, and I actually kinda liked them a bit. Now, it's actually a really fun show, and I urge you to go back and give it a shot.
- still loving the new Pearl Jam, Backspacer. If you stupidly walked away from them a few years ago because they had expanded beyond what your tiny mind can handle, give them a listen now.
- tomorrow is Writing Wednesday, and I'll be talking about how to come back to that piece that ya started in earnest, then never quite got back to. It happens to all of us, but I have a few tricks for getting that spark and drive back. I'm also taking any and all writing-related questions, so post 'em in the comments if ya got 'em!
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
20090921
It's Monday and I'm Manly, or so I'm made to think
When I was in the conceptual stage for the new blog format, this was the first idea I had.
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
I've always wanted to pen an advice column, since there are few joys in this world greater than telling someone else they're doing something wrong since they're not doing it the way I do it.
That being said, you may be wanting to ask for my credentials. Why am I qualified to write this weekly advice-giving wankfest? Because my marriage is not in a shambolic state, which instantly separates from nearly everyone I know.
Let's get to it, shall we?
The first thing I want to address is something that I think is causing many of the problems in today's American marriages, and that is modern men confusing the fad of being a 'sensitive man' with being a whiny, self-obsessed emotional deadweight.
When I was younger, I fully embraced being a sensitive man, to the point that I must have been the single most obnoxious creature in my friends' lives. In relationships, it was especially problematic, because I was never someone that my female counterpart could count on to be someone she could lean on. Looking back, I'm shocked that I was shocked when some of my old girlfriends wanted nothing more than to start fucking someone else. Anyone else.
Nowadays, I feel like I've found a balance. I still try to be sensitive to my wife's emotions (though, to her credit, she makes it very easy, as she's more balanced than most women when it comes to emotionalism and pragmatism) without letting my own spill out on her in a cascade of savage attention-getting. I'll try to relate to her and sympathize when needed, and I've found that by keeping myself more reserved and not blabbing incessantly about things that bother me, it's more impactful when I save those things for the moments when she needs me to empathize.
I've adopted a system in which I don't bother those around me with my problems unless it's something I absolutely need to, and I've benefited from it tremendously. I draw self-esteem from knowing that my friends and loved ones feel that they can count on me, and they feel like they can come to me with their problems without me hijacking the spotlight, as so many of today's whiny fucks masquerading in man clothes are prone to do.
To be fair, there are moments when I need external input. While I prefer the appearance of self-sufficiency (if I don't know, I'd rather research independently than let you know that I don't know something), there are moments in which it is clearly wisest to seek advice, and that is why I've surrounded myself with some amazing people, like my wife and closest friends, and I've been blessed with good, wise parents, as well.
I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know how to find all the answers on my own. I believe this to be the simplest separation between those who are competent and those who aren't.
However, I very much try to limit those moments, and ask myself, 'Do you really need to bother them?' Usually, when I think about it logically, the answer is a clear 'NO.'
Additionally, it helps a lot if you make good decisions. That way, you have less need to bother people with things weighing on your mind.
In short, I suck it up and act like a fucking man. There is no greater honor for a man than to be known as one who can be counted on by his wife, his children, his parents and siblings, his friends, and his coworkers. I learned a lot of this from other men who are older, more experienced, smarter, and better leaders than I am, at least at present.
Cut down on the problems in your life, and when something's bother you, run it through a filter and ask yourself if this something you can manage on your own. If so, move on. If not, then try to be concise and not the waste the other person's time with it for too long. Also, limit the number of people you bother with it. Everyone around you will thank you with their implicit trust and respect, whether they consciously realize it or not.
When you go home tonight, promise yourself that you're going to be the man that your wife and children deserve. She married you for a reason, and you have a duty to validate her decision.
Remember: she can always do better. No matter what man you are, or what woman she is, she can always do better than you.
Now go be a humble bad-ass.
Questions
Last week, I solicited questions from you all for Manly Monday, and I got two very good ones from ya'll.
The first one comes from JT in Chicago, and he asks:
I guess my only issue these days is trying to get back in shape. I dropped 20 pounds last year, but gained 7 or 8 back in the past couple of months. I know you struggle with that as well at times, so do you ever worry how weight gain could potentially affect your relationship?
Well, JT, first, lemme thank you for the question. It's no secret that many men succumb to weight gain once they commit to the mono-nail, and I think it's something that bothers those of us that are smart enough to recognize that it can have serious repercussions. Not only does being fat make you unfit to be a role model to your children, but it can kill you, and most lethally, it can lead your wife to desire someone who is not a disgusting butter ball of husky fail.
I worry about that shit all the time. I've recently started the Bodybugg program, and thus far, it's been going well. The main thing about it is that gives me a clear, concise interface for calories burned versus calories consumed. The device attaches to your arm, tracks your calories burnt, as well as when they were burnt, etc, so you can see what activities from which you're most benefiting. There's also an LCD wristband you can get that lets you see where you are in terms of what you need to burn in real-time, so you can adjust your caloric intake on the fly. You need to self-report on what you're eating, but there's a super-easy interface for entering existing foods, plus you can create new entries and store them for re-entering later. You plug in the device via USB, and it provides you with a great UI for analyzing your data. It's a great way for tech-heads like us to de-fatten.
Additionally, I've used it as something with which to partner with my wife. Even if your wife is nice and skinny, she can tone up while you drop your weight to something reasonable for a man that she might sully herself by sleeping with. Not only is it great to have someone you trust watching your back, but it can be fun and competitive.
Now, if you are staunchly opposed to losing weight (which I know you're not, but some idiots might be), here are some alternatives for you.
1 - Get so fat that they have to knock down a wall to airlift you out, and you can end up on a talk show.
2 - Tell your wife that you're just trying to make her feel better about her own weight.
3 - Remind your wife that if you crash on an island, mathematically, you can live the longest without food.
4 - Buy a girdle.
Hopefully, all that helps.
NEXT QUESTION!
This next one is from Adam in Minnesota (somewhere near the Twin Cities.)
I use a loofah and body wash in the shower. Do I need to hand over my testicles or can I still be considered a man? (p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper, in case that helps you decide.)
I don't know what a loofah is, but if you prefer to overpay for soap, please feel free. I pay less than a buck per bar of soap and less than a buck per bottle of shampoo, but this only means that I am better than you.
When it comes to shower maintenance, really, I rarely criticize other men, unless they're not getting clean enough (meaning your scent is offensive). While I don't spend a lot of money on my showering needs (because, ya know, I'm not a woman), I am rather obsessive about hygiene. And if wasting a bunch of money on feminine products gets ya as clean as I am, then...okay.
Now, let's see what a loofah is. Hang on.
Ah. I see.
Never mind. You're clearly gay, but chicks dig that.
Truth be told, every time my wife turns her nose up at videogames and sports, a little part of me wishes I was gay. How rad would it be to live with someone who shared my rampant appetite for games, sports, and fucking? Of course, I'm not terribly enthused about the actual gay sex, but if he had a lot of money, we might be able to find a compromise.
Of course, I like that my wife and I have about a 50/50 overlap, in which we cross over in about half of our own tastes, and then each have another 50% that is just each our own. It helps reinforce a lot of the themes of our marriage.
Anyway, Adam, I'd say Aymee probably married you for the man you are, and your closet homosexuality is clearly something that she embraces and loves about you.
In Other News
- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!
- I've been rawking the new Pearl Jam album, Backspacer, which came out yesterday. Goddam, am I loving it. It's their most straight-forward, unforced album in years. It's my favorite since Binaural, and the first one that I can listen to all the way through since Yield. It's fan-fucking-tastic, and the best rock record that's been released this decade.
- tonight marks the return of Heroes and Castle. I must say that while I have issues with both, I'm eagerly looking forward to both. Castle had a reasonably decent first season, and I dig the concept (a writer assists a cop in murder investigations), so I'm eager to see what's in store this year. Heroes...hmm...it had that magical first season, issue-laden second season, and the third season was better than the second, but definitely lacked the spark of the first. If the trend of improvement persists into this season, I'm all in.
- tomorrow will be 'Techie Tuesday,' so ask away about anything even remotely tech-related, from computers to TVs to vibrators. Though you'd be better for it, I promise I won't post about Linux. The first time. I can promise there will be first-impressions on Ubuntu 9.10 when it hits next month, but for now, I won't bore you with things like Linux that will only improve your rather mundane existence. Maybe I'll talk shit about obnoxious fucking Mac users. We'll see. What do you wanna hear about from the tech column?
Lemme know about anything you wanna hear about in:
Manly Mondays
Techie Tuesdays
Writing Wednesdays
Thopical Thursdays (current events, sorta)
Fuck-Off Fridays
I'm taking any and all advice questions or topic suggestions, so HIT ME!
-Blaine
20090918
Fuck-Off Friday #1
And thus begins the weekend, soon.
It's a lovely 'Fuck Off Friday,' which means I'm just going to ramble here, either until I run out of time, or until I feel it's time to contract my (proverbial) mouth valve.
It's been nice to blog again, even if I find myself having to do it in quick spurts, almost when no one's looking. What's nice about that is that it compares even more sharply with masturbation, which illustrates the way I feel about most 'professional' bloggers.
Don't get me wrong, there are some damn good bloggers (or bloggists, as I prefer) out there, but many are low self-esteem-driven wankers with a thirst for attention. AT ANY COST!
Aaanyway, like I said, it's good to flex different writing muscles. Blogging is often a good counterbalance to my fiction writing, as it accesses different parts of the brain, and keeps my mind in shape.
Okay, now I'm tired of talking about that.
I've become utterly addicted to Buffy. I'd never seen the show before a month or so ago, as I had regarded the presentation as beyond stupid, but now I love it. On one hand, I love anything with robots/monsters/aliens, and on the other, it's like a snapshot of my high school years (though 'Buffy' was a freshman when I would have been a senior.)
The show does a great job of blending great comedy with real heart-string yanking teenage melodrama and cool supernatural material. It's one of the only 'high school' shows that doesn't make me want to choke the life out of the characters (well, except Xander, and it's because he's so well-written as a teenage douchebag.)
I might be binging on the rest of season 3 this weekend, but we'll see. I'm trying to lure my wife into watching it with me. I've considered waving my penis in front of one of my computer monitors while Hulu is loaded, but we'll see.
I'll also be hopping back into the Uncharted 2 multiplayer beta this weekend, so if you were smart enough to preorder the game, like me, I'll see ya there.
Otherwise, I'll be hanging out with my wife and son this weekend, maybe having a beer or two, and definitely not watching the blacked-out Rams game (thanks for the blatant greed, NFL!)
Oh, and you guys are gonna love the first Manly Monday post. Manly Mondays are going to be my weekly advice column, focusing on relationship advice for men. I can't wait to post the first entry.
So, some questions:
01 - What are your feelings on Buffy: the Vampire Slayer?
02 - What are your plans for the weekend?
03 - Any questions for me for Manly Monday?
Thanks, have a great weekend, and UNLEASH THE COMMENTS!
-Blaine
It's a lovely 'Fuck Off Friday,' which means I'm just going to ramble here, either until I run out of time, or until I feel it's time to contract my (proverbial) mouth valve.
It's been nice to blog again, even if I find myself having to do it in quick spurts, almost when no one's looking. What's nice about that is that it compares even more sharply with masturbation, which illustrates the way I feel about most 'professional' bloggers.
Don't get me wrong, there are some damn good bloggers (or bloggists, as I prefer) out there, but many are low self-esteem-driven wankers with a thirst for attention. AT ANY COST!
Aaanyway, like I said, it's good to flex different writing muscles. Blogging is often a good counterbalance to my fiction writing, as it accesses different parts of the brain, and keeps my mind in shape.
Okay, now I'm tired of talking about that.
I've become utterly addicted to Buffy. I'd never seen the show before a month or so ago, as I had regarded the presentation as beyond stupid, but now I love it. On one hand, I love anything with robots/monsters/aliens, and on the other, it's like a snapshot of my high school years (though 'Buffy' was a freshman when I would have been a senior.)
The show does a great job of blending great comedy with real heart-string yanking teenage melodrama and cool supernatural material. It's one of the only 'high school' shows that doesn't make me want to choke the life out of the characters (well, except Xander, and it's because he's so well-written as a teenage douchebag.)
I might be binging on the rest of season 3 this weekend, but we'll see. I'm trying to lure my wife into watching it with me. I've considered waving my penis in front of one of my computer monitors while Hulu is loaded, but we'll see.
I'll also be hopping back into the Uncharted 2 multiplayer beta this weekend, so if you were smart enough to preorder the game, like me, I'll see ya there.
Otherwise, I'll be hanging out with my wife and son this weekend, maybe having a beer or two, and definitely not watching the blacked-out Rams game (thanks for the blatant greed, NFL!)
Oh, and you guys are gonna love the first Manly Monday post. Manly Mondays are going to be my weekly advice column, focusing on relationship advice for men. I can't wait to post the first entry.
So, some questions:
01 - What are your feelings on Buffy: the Vampire Slayer?
02 - What are your plans for the weekend?
03 - Any questions for me for Manly Monday?
Thanks, have a great weekend, and UNLEASH THE COMMENTS!
-Blaine
20090917
Thopical Thursday #1
That's 'thopical,' pronounced 'topical.' I had to think of something for Thursdays, and I knew I wanted to do at least one post per week that addressed 'current events.' Anyway...
Announcements
Podcast Tony and I are still taking requests for our upcoming TGS & Holiday Preview shows!
That Health Care Thing
So, you may have heard that we Americans have manufactured a new problem that allows to all hate each other even more. Remember when we could all get along and pretend like Ronald Reagan was actually a decent human being?* Those were good times. As long as you were on cocaine but still JUST SAYING NO.
* - Reagan was actually a reprehensible creature who ate Joe McCarthy's cock for breakfast and lied about his military service on the campaign trail; FYI
I remember rolling my eyes when Ken Starr became obsessed with Bill Clinton's penis and the Republicans all feigned indignation at President Clinton's preferred method of cigar storage. I was a teenager, and it was the first time I realized that politicians were grabbing onto something (in this case, the Presidential Wang) and bouncing up and down on it for political purposes, and none other. None of them gave a shit about his marriage. They just knew that there are millions of Americans who sit in front of their TVs, watching cable news, and await instructions.
Whether or not the President fucks his wife or another woman is none of my business, and it's none of yours. If you're eager to play the 'role model' card, don't. If you want your children to look up to career politicians as role models, you are one sick fuck, and probably shouldn't have reproduced.
And then there was that Bush problem. The guy was appointed to the presidency, instead of being elected (then, he was elected the second time, thanks to you assholes.)
What was most upsetting about the Bush presidency, aside from all the war crimes, the lack of open bidding on middle east construction contracts, the blending of religion and politics, the rape of civil rights, and having a mentally retarded monkey as president was the weakness of the Democrats.
Again, the Democratic politicians were almost as bad as their Republican counterparts. They lacked the outrage of the citizens they represented. So what did we all do? We were all so upset about having a war criminal as president that we all stood, up, raised our fists, and then sat right fucking back down again. We were so sickened by his behavior, and we were so clearly a majority that we rallied together, and put the career politicians right back in office. Great job, guys.
With Obama, we actually made a little progress. Getting McCain to opt out of his own values (he was once a pretty decent guy) was a genius move by the pig-fucking Republicans, but then they added Palin to the ticket, which pretty much delivered the middle-road conservatives to the Obama ticket.
So, Obama won, and the extremely vocal pro-hate minority went ape-shit. They clamored for ANYTHING, ANYTHING to scream about. Months went by, and they tried to blame him for the Dubya Depression. That didn't stick, since he wasn't in office the prior eight years, the eight years that had been preceded by Clinton & co. balancing the budget and fixing the economy (just sayin'). Then, it was Fannie Mae. That didn't stick. During all this, Obama decided to step up and actually do something GOOD with the presidency. The guy decided everyone should have health care.
I'm willing to bet that most conservatives won't openly advocate killing all the poor people. Not openly. Let me paint a picture for you, though.
People are willing to pay anything to keep living. -> The sky is the limit, therefore, when it comes to profiting off of the misery of others.
Medical industry makes HUGE money, doesn't want it to stop. -> They pressure the media folks they sponsor to rally the under-educated, anti-intellectual crowd, using buzzwords. In this case, they replaced 'terr-ist' with 'socialist.'
Fundamentalists and others with severe beliefs are instructed by their televisions to avoid intelligent debate at all costs, to merely shout rhetoric at Town Hall Meetings -> The motivated morons have no idea that there is no actual 'threat' of socialism, but they know they hate 'them thar queer inta-lek-shals who voted fer that thar black guy.' Sometimes, they don't say 'black guy.'
Democratic voters and Obama supporters are being bludgeoned on all sides by the same people they battled in message boards for the last 8 years -> They fall into the same trap as their retarded brethren, and get wrapped up in hurting the opponent, rather than addressing the issues.
This health care debate isn't at all about health care. It's about Bush and Obama, and the rift caused by the Republicans in 2000 & 2004.
Wrapping up, I want to point one thing out. There are some conservatives who don't hate poor people, who are asking the exact right question which is, 'Yes, health care is a good thing, but how are we going to pay for national health care?'
That is the only question we should be discussing right now. Why can't we all agree that we need to take care of each other, set our minds to it, and make it happen. We can do it, and it would've helped if a) we hadn't invaded Iraq and instead focused on catching Bin Laden (remember him?) and b) if we hadn't bailed out failing companies.
Anyway, just something to think about. Lemme know what you think.
-Blaine
Announcements
Podcast Tony and I are still taking requests for our upcoming TGS & Holiday Preview shows!
That Health Care Thing
So, you may have heard that we Americans have manufactured a new problem that allows to all hate each other even more. Remember when we could all get along and pretend like Ronald Reagan was actually a decent human being?* Those were good times. As long as you were on cocaine but still JUST SAYING NO.
* - Reagan was actually a reprehensible creature who ate Joe McCarthy's cock for breakfast and lied about his military service on the campaign trail; FYI
I remember rolling my eyes when Ken Starr became obsessed with Bill Clinton's penis and the Republicans all feigned indignation at President Clinton's preferred method of cigar storage. I was a teenager, and it was the first time I realized that politicians were grabbing onto something (in this case, the Presidential Wang) and bouncing up and down on it for political purposes, and none other. None of them gave a shit about his marriage. They just knew that there are millions of Americans who sit in front of their TVs, watching cable news, and await instructions.
Whether or not the President fucks his wife or another woman is none of my business, and it's none of yours. If you're eager to play the 'role model' card, don't. If you want your children to look up to career politicians as role models, you are one sick fuck, and probably shouldn't have reproduced.
And then there was that Bush problem. The guy was appointed to the presidency, instead of being elected (then, he was elected the second time, thanks to you assholes.)
What was most upsetting about the Bush presidency, aside from all the war crimes, the lack of open bidding on middle east construction contracts, the blending of religion and politics, the rape of civil rights, and having a mentally retarded monkey as president was the weakness of the Democrats.
Again, the Democratic politicians were almost as bad as their Republican counterparts. They lacked the outrage of the citizens they represented. So what did we all do? We were all so upset about having a war criminal as president that we all stood, up, raised our fists, and then sat right fucking back down again. We were so sickened by his behavior, and we were so clearly a majority that we rallied together, and put the career politicians right back in office. Great job, guys.
With Obama, we actually made a little progress. Getting McCain to opt out of his own values (he was once a pretty decent guy) was a genius move by the pig-fucking Republicans, but then they added Palin to the ticket, which pretty much delivered the middle-road conservatives to the Obama ticket.
So, Obama won, and the extremely vocal pro-hate minority went ape-shit. They clamored for ANYTHING, ANYTHING to scream about. Months went by, and they tried to blame him for the Dubya Depression. That didn't stick, since he wasn't in office the prior eight years, the eight years that had been preceded by Clinton & co. balancing the budget and fixing the economy (just sayin'). Then, it was Fannie Mae. That didn't stick. During all this, Obama decided to step up and actually do something GOOD with the presidency. The guy decided everyone should have health care.
I'm willing to bet that most conservatives won't openly advocate killing all the poor people. Not openly. Let me paint a picture for you, though.
People are willing to pay anything to keep living. -> The sky is the limit, therefore, when it comes to profiting off of the misery of others.
Medical industry makes HUGE money, doesn't want it to stop. -> They pressure the media folks they sponsor to rally the under-educated, anti-intellectual crowd, using buzzwords. In this case, they replaced 'terr-ist' with 'socialist.'
Fundamentalists and others with severe beliefs are instructed by their televisions to avoid intelligent debate at all costs, to merely shout rhetoric at Town Hall Meetings -> The motivated morons have no idea that there is no actual 'threat' of socialism, but they know they hate 'them thar queer inta-lek-shals who voted fer that thar black guy.' Sometimes, they don't say 'black guy.'
Democratic voters and Obama supporters are being bludgeoned on all sides by the same people they battled in message boards for the last 8 years -> They fall into the same trap as their retarded brethren, and get wrapped up in hurting the opponent, rather than addressing the issues.
This health care debate isn't at all about health care. It's about Bush and Obama, and the rift caused by the Republicans in 2000 & 2004.
Wrapping up, I want to point one thing out. There are some conservatives who don't hate poor people, who are asking the exact right question which is, 'Yes, health care is a good thing, but how are we going to pay for national health care?'
That is the only question we should be discussing right now. Why can't we all agree that we need to take care of each other, set our minds to it, and make it happen. We can do it, and it would've helped if a) we hadn't invaded Iraq and instead focused on catching Bin Laden (remember him?) and b) if we hadn't bailed out failing companies.
Anyway, just something to think about. Lemme know what you think.
-Blaine
20090915
The Filthy Writer Blog Relaunch
So, I've been meaning, for weeks now, to get back to posting nearly every weekday, but I've been too busy with all kindsa bullshit, but that's trickled down to a nearly-manageable level now.
Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.
Announcements
- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.
- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:
Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.
Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.
Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.
Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.
Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.
- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.
- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!
- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.
Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...
On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.
Why?
I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.
Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.
When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.
Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.
When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.
How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.
I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.
Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.
Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.
Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.
Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?
Thanks!
-Blaine
Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.
Announcements
- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.
- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:
Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.
Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.
Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.
Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.
Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.
- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.
- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!
- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.
Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...
On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.
Why?
I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.
Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.
When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.
Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.
When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.
How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.
I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.
Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.
Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.
Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.
Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?
Thanks!
-Blaine
20090902
Welcome to Not-Summer
I walked outside in my usual summer attire the other night, to grab a quick smoke (yes, I know, I know). I was wearing a t-shirt, baggy cargo shorts, and bare feet. I stepped out onto the front step, and BAM! It hit me! It was fucking cold!
This is St. Louis, people, not Chicago. Chicagoans piss and moan about the alleged 'summer' they get up there, but having lived in both places, I can assure you that while they are experts on cold and losing, they don't know shit about heat. St. Louis gets crazy hot. 95+ degrees with 100% humidity is almost the epitome of uncomfortable.
Personally, I love it. I'm used to it, grew up with it, and don't feel compelled to spend a lot of time talking about it.
The cold, though...ugh. There aren't many things in this world that I don't like. Aside from cold, precipitation, dishonesty, Nintendo apologists, religious beliefs, those who are opposed to science, those that identify stringently with a political party, reality television, mustard, cloudy days, modern hip-hop, IGN, lobbyists, Dave Matthews Band, pickles, fans of the band 'Creed,' Ubisoft, Mac users, Windows, Gentoo snobs, people with hygiene issues, Miller beer, the Cubs, Cubs fans (I do like having sex with female Cubs fans, though), wholesomeness, non-organic food, young people, old people, people who don't like Pearl Jam, wheat bread, Faux News, Jack White, Roger Moore as Bond, Internet Explorer, people who pretend to like using Safari, people who refuse to use Firefox, people who pretend Chrome is secure and just as flexible as Firefox, late 90's pussy rock, people who replaced the word "terr'ism" with "comm'nism," people who argue on the internet, people who post long message board posts in an effort to argue on the internet, people who post long message board posts in an effort to argue about politics on the internet, people who post long message board posts filled with 'facts' taken from a Faux News propaganda blast in an effort to argue about politics on the internet, people who think a man's hand is cleaner than his cock, turkey on a sandwich that is not covered in gravy, people who get lazy when building a standard image, people who pay for non-gaming software, people who work hard at furthering a negative stereotype, Activision, subscription fees, being busy all the time, people that accept that this is all there is, and many more, I really don't have too many dislikes.
Chicago was a very difficult place for me to live. Mainly because it's cold 8-9 months out of the year, always cloudy, everyone's amazingly negative, and it's really like living inside a dome. A dome filled with cold and bad weather.
Aside from the miserable weather and environment, it was a damn fun place to go to college. The bar scene is amazing, and the women...my god, the women are beautiful and not nearly as uptight as the girls here in St. Louis. Chicago girls are better looking and much more liberal with their vaginas than St. Louis girls. I was so taken with them, I had to keep one for myself and marry her.
Anyway...
...things have still been crazy, though markedly less so. I'm in the middle of three straight days of no free time, in which I'm occupied all day and all night, and I am working to put a stop to this bullshit. There are few things I hate as much as having plans after a work/school day. If I've been busting my ass all day, I like coming home, hugging my family, climbing into a recliner, watching some sports, playing some games, running around with my son, some dinner, and then I like to molest my wife. I like being able to fall apart for a few hours after rigidly holding it together all day. If that makes you roll your eyes, please go choke on a spiked dildo and die of a hemorrhage while being skull-fucked. I'm old enough now to have preferences, and I'm probably a stronger man than you, anyway, which is why my life is considerably less complicated and compromised than yours.
Last night, it was the boy's b-day, tonight, it's my Java class (which is totally bad-ass), and tomorrow night, it's the Governor's Cup (Rams vs. Chiefs, final preseason game). My in-laws might be coming in town this weekend, which could be fun.
We'll see how the next two days at work are. Work is really the thing that either lets me post or kills it, since that's really the only time I have for posting right now. That'll change, as I get into a rhythm with each week.
My next post is going to be my hilarious email conversation with EA. You're not going to believe the shit that we've been saying to each other. I still think that there are some very cool folks who work there, but their bloated structure really caused some problems between us. I'm going to get that up before the week ends, so make sure you check it out. It's nearly the best 'awful' thing to happen to me.
Gotta head to my next class. Word.
-Blaine
This is St. Louis, people, not Chicago. Chicagoans piss and moan about the alleged 'summer' they get up there, but having lived in both places, I can assure you that while they are experts on cold and losing, they don't know shit about heat. St. Louis gets crazy hot. 95+ degrees with 100% humidity is almost the epitome of uncomfortable.
Personally, I love it. I'm used to it, grew up with it, and don't feel compelled to spend a lot of time talking about it.
The cold, though...ugh. There aren't many things in this world that I don't like. Aside from cold, precipitation, dishonesty, Nintendo apologists, religious beliefs, those who are opposed to science, those that identify stringently with a political party, reality television, mustard, cloudy days, modern hip-hop, IGN, lobbyists, Dave Matthews Band, pickles, fans of the band 'Creed,' Ubisoft, Mac users, Windows, Gentoo snobs, people with hygiene issues, Miller beer, the Cubs, Cubs fans (I do like having sex with female Cubs fans, though), wholesomeness, non-organic food, young people, old people, people who don't like Pearl Jam, wheat bread, Faux News, Jack White, Roger Moore as Bond, Internet Explorer, people who pretend to like using Safari, people who refuse to use Firefox, people who pretend Chrome is secure and just as flexible as Firefox, late 90's pussy rock, people who replaced the word "terr'ism" with "comm'nism," people who argue on the internet, people who post long message board posts in an effort to argue on the internet, people who post long message board posts in an effort to argue about politics on the internet, people who post long message board posts filled with 'facts' taken from a Faux News propaganda blast in an effort to argue about politics on the internet, people who think a man's hand is cleaner than his cock, turkey on a sandwich that is not covered in gravy, people who get lazy when building a standard image, people who pay for non-gaming software, people who work hard at furthering a negative stereotype, Activision, subscription fees, being busy all the time, people that accept that this is all there is, and many more, I really don't have too many dislikes.
Chicago was a very difficult place for me to live. Mainly because it's cold 8-9 months out of the year, always cloudy, everyone's amazingly negative, and it's really like living inside a dome. A dome filled with cold and bad weather.
Aside from the miserable weather and environment, it was a damn fun place to go to college. The bar scene is amazing, and the women...my god, the women are beautiful and not nearly as uptight as the girls here in St. Louis. Chicago girls are better looking and much more liberal with their vaginas than St. Louis girls. I was so taken with them, I had to keep one for myself and marry her.
Anyway...
...things have still been crazy, though markedly less so. I'm in the middle of three straight days of no free time, in which I'm occupied all day and all night, and I am working to put a stop to this bullshit. There are few things I hate as much as having plans after a work/school day. If I've been busting my ass all day, I like coming home, hugging my family, climbing into a recliner, watching some sports, playing some games, running around with my son, some dinner, and then I like to molest my wife. I like being able to fall apart for a few hours after rigidly holding it together all day. If that makes you roll your eyes, please go choke on a spiked dildo and die of a hemorrhage while being skull-fucked. I'm old enough now to have preferences, and I'm probably a stronger man than you, anyway, which is why my life is considerably less complicated and compromised than yours.
Last night, it was the boy's b-day, tonight, it's my Java class (which is totally bad-ass), and tomorrow night, it's the Governor's Cup (Rams vs. Chiefs, final preseason game). My in-laws might be coming in town this weekend, which could be fun.
We'll see how the next two days at work are. Work is really the thing that either lets me post or kills it, since that's really the only time I have for posting right now. That'll change, as I get into a rhythm with each week.
My next post is going to be my hilarious email conversation with EA. You're not going to believe the shit that we've been saying to each other. I still think that there are some very cool folks who work there, but their bloated structure really caused some problems between us. I'm going to get that up before the week ends, so make sure you check it out. It's nearly the best 'awful' thing to happen to me.
Gotta head to my next class. Word.
-Blaine
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