About That

This blog has taken on many different themes and purposes, and now, I think I finally know what to do with it.

 

Just write.

 

I'm not someone that forces things. Probably to my detriment, a bit, but I've never been someone that does something he doesn't want to do. It's caused me problems, at times, but it's also cleared the deck for me to focus on things that actually matter to me.

 

In any case, I guess I was gonna write a lot about writing here, before realizing that I get bored with that subject very quickly. Besides, my process is far less interesting than most others' processes. In life, and in writing, simpler is better, and the fewer constraints you place on yourself, the freer you are to soar to new heights, or glide gracefully to the crouch with a laptop and just write.

 

So, while I may still write about writers writing, I'm opening this blog up to be about everything that I care about. This includes gaming, baseball, football, technology, software/web development, and just whatever takes my fancy.

 

Some posts will be quite length, while others may only be a few sentences. Some may even be video posts (WHOAH.)

 

I've added my Twitch feed above, as well as a 'current' section in the top left. Feel free to engage me on anything you see there.

 

Production

My day job is now as a C# developer. It's a great job, and I really like the challenge of developing a new skillset, plus I'm part of a great team, and the work is more than satisfying.

 

Outside of that, I'm developing what I think might become a web 'TV' series. I've worked in technology for quite a while now, and want to start telling some stories that have sprung from that life.

 

Right now, I'm envisioning an initial six-episode 'first season,' and I'm considering just producing it myself. I might Kickstarter it, I might not, but I need to get them written first.

 

Aside from that, I'm always dabbling with modding games, but I've been frustrated, because I keep changing what game, what engine, and I probably need to seek out some advice on how to get started. I'm thinking, more and more, I need to bang out a rough story, and then make my decision that way.

 

Further down the road, there's another novel and another rock record. Actually, a few novels. There's another Endless Wars book that has some real meat to it, but that I keep walking away from, as well as a very weird start to a space merchant novella series.

 

The space merchant novella series is an experiment, in which I do a 'season' of novellas that each tell a story within a larger arc, and I'll release each one for something like a dollar, or even less. We'll see. I'm still trying to work out how that would work. Maybe I'll just release each 'episode' for free, then sell the complete collection at the end of the 'season.' I dunno.

 

Regardless, I wanna get the six scripts for the IT web series done first, then start talking to some folks about the next move there.

 

And, yeah, I really wanna make a story-based mod for Dragon Age, or maybe Divinity: Original Sin, or maybe Skyrim, or maybe the upcoming Wasteland 2 and/or Pillars of Eternity.

 

Consumption

It's been a reeeally slow year in music. REALLY slow. Granted, all my bands dropped new records either last year or the year before. I've been jamming to the new Robert Plant, as well as the new Slash record, and Asteroids Galaxy Tour is releasing a new record next week, and I'm expecting that to be my favorite record this year.

 

It's been too good a year for science fiction on TV. There's so much that I've actually started dropping shows or telling some that I'll be back with them later.

 

However, my two favorite so far this year are not science fiction. True Detective and The Bridge have both knocked me out with how well-written, beautifully acted, and really well-shot they are. Both of those shows are the complete package.

 

The Strain, though, comes close to that level of enjoyment. I enjoyed the first two books (third is in the queue), and absolutely love the show.

 

Reading-wise, I'm still reconciling Disney's declaration that all books, games, and comics before 'A New Dawn' are null and void. It's hard to imagine a Star Wars without events from the 'Old Republic' era being part of the canon. Same goes for the X-Wing series, and a lot of the books from the Clone Wars era, which featured some of my favorite Jedi.

 

In any case, the new novel, 'A New Dawn,' is a solid read thus far. It sets up a couple of the characters that will be featured in the new animated series, 'Rebels.'

 

Gaming-wise, after a HUGE push through the Elder Scrolls Online, I'm taking a break from that series, and finishing my third playthrough of the Dragon Age series, in preparation for Dragon Age: Inqiusition on 11/18.

 

Last on the gaming front, Destiny. A little game from a little developer known as Bungie.

 

It's an MMO FPS, and that's exactly what it is. It's a blend of Halo, WoW, and Diablo. I really like it so far, but it's weird playing a console shooter. I hope this comes to PC eventually.

 

Going Forward

I'm not locking myself into any format here, but I would at least like to post everyday. I'm going to play with the content, and please let me know when something is good or bad.

 

Has there been anything I've done on here before that you really liked? (as if anyone is listening yet)

 

-Blaine

 

Winter's Block

I fascinate me. Should you know me well, this should come as no great surprise.

What I mean by that is for as well as I know myself, I still surprise myself, in ways both good and bad. Take my reaction to the winter season, for example. I know that I've struggled through every winter, specifically, in the ways that relate to 'not being a fragile emotional deadweight.' I go into every winter saying, 'eh, fuck it, I'm fine,' and then, by about January, I'm staring out the window, wanting to break out into a very sad Wilson-Phillips-esque song that is heavily imbued with longing. Well, except, that would require motivation.

And, see, this is the point at which I should be saying, 'AHA! I'll go write a book about it! YES!' Instead ... eh. I don't feel like it.

What sucks is that I'm deep into some good pages on the Endless Wars sequel, and I've been getting some good feedback from my editor on them, and now he's quietly knocking on my phone door saying, 'Uh, dude? About that book? I want to see what happens next.' THAT is exactly what every good novelist wants to hear, and yet ... eh, I don't feel like it.

I've also been trying different things in terms of my process, too, to try to jump-start the thing. Everything from changing up the time of day to refining my environment, and none of it is sticking.

Of course, I always like a jackass at these moments. I'm an adult. I should be able to just make myself sit for an hour and bang out a page or two. That's what should happen, and yet ... eh, I don't feel like it.

And, it's temporary, of course. I'm not really sweating it, but I kind of wish I was.

In the meantime, I'm reading like a madman. I've been devouring the Wheel of Time series, something I'd long avoided. I was finally convinced by a friend in the meatspace to just try it, and I'm loving it. It's like the anti-A Song of Ice & Fire series. Don't get me wrong, I love ASoI&F, but WoT is a refreshing low fantasy opposite. They have similar settings, but where everyone in ASoI&F is fucking and dying right and left, the WoT characters are ... well ... not. Additionally, where there's little else out there akin to ASoI&F, WoT iterates on every great sci-fi/fantasy trope, but does so rather skillfully.

I'm also hyped for the release of Dead Space 3 next week. The fiction of that universe is fantastic, and a great commentary on the ways that science, religion, corporate interests, and government all interact. If you've not played the Dead Space games, grab the first one and let me know what you think. There's also animated films, comics, novels, spin-off games, and all kinds of stuff that feeds into the fiction. It's a great universe that offers some pretty sharp critiques of how we, as a people, have evolved, and might continue to evolve.

For now, though, I'm hoping to narrow my focus a bit, reign my passions in, and make myself more productive in the writing space. I love doing it, but hate doing it part-time.

I also want to record another album ... and make my own text adventure ... and get back to more model building ... and spend more time sharpening my C# skills ... and sharpen my Windows Server skills ... and finally finish Buffy ... and have more time for playing sports with my son ... and back into watching basketball more ... and baseball, too, for that matter ... oh, and I need to play through all the Neverwinter Nights games and mods ... I also never finished Final Fantasy XIII-2 ... and I don't spend enough time with Guild Wars 2 ... I wouldn't mind revisiting Star Trek Online ... and I would really like to play through more of the stories in Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Like I said ... narrowing my focus.

Love,

Winter = Seasonal Bed-Shitting

To state that 'winter is a harsh mistress' is, for me, profoundly off the mark, as it implies that I have even a little appreciation for the bitch. I do not enjoy seeing the world slowly die and freeze over every year, like some. I regard those people, even the ones I love, as somewhat sickened and horribly misguided individuals. To relish in the death of life is a massive perversion, and what is winter, if not the most clearly painted symbol for death that we have?

It may sound funny, but I really am a sunshine + birds chirping kinda dude. I wanna be a fuckin' Disney princess, singing next to an open window while birds flutter around. This Hoth bullshit can just fuck off.

Of course, bitching about the weather is petty, futile, and I really wish it was beneath me.

I really need to rebuild my writing process. I've tried for a while not to be one of those oversensitive 'oh, things have to be just right for me to write' pansy-ass writers, but it's stupid to pretend like there's not something to the concept of having a process. I can write in nearly any circumstance, but I think that the process isn't so much about being able to write as fostering a circumstance in which you want to write. I've got a lot of things that take my attention, as well as a lot of real-world responsibilities. I'd like to rebuild my process so that it's built into my day.

I think something that would help, too, is having deadlines. I'm good at deadlines, and have done some great writing when under the gun. I may have an idea here. We'll see.

I've thought through some creative solutions to this, and I'm curious to see how this works out.

Blaine

Lore and World-Building

I play a lot of RPGs and I read a lot of huge, sprawling science fiction and fantasy series. Among my favorites are Bioware's Dragon Age and Mass Effect series, as well as George R. R. Martin's 'A Song of Ice & Fire' ('Games of Thrones' on TV), and a handful of others. In each of these properties, there's a huge amount of lore and fully fleshed-out worlds, both of which make the experience so much more immersive, and really give it more of an 'escapist' feel, something for which I strive, given how much I enjoy it myself.

When I started crafting the Endless Wars universe, I approached it with a blissful naivete that very much empowered me to write the first novel with very few concerns, and even less caution. It's a great story that's supported by a youthful lack of foresight inherent to the 'fuck it all' kind of young man I was at that time.

Now, being a more seasoned writer whose tastes have expanded beyond Star Wars and Lethal Weapon (though I still love both dearly), the second novel has demanded that I actually start organizing and more fully fleshing out the world(s) of Endless Wars. This novel is so much bigger and more ambitious than the first, it's frankly somewhat intimidating.

The first challenge I had was finding when to start the current story in the series' chronology. If you've read the first book, you know that the series extends over a vast expanse of time, as well as universes other than this one.

See, the hard part was that I'd written the first novel when I was in my very early twenties. I then moved on to some film and music projects, dabbled with some short stories, wrote big chunks of other series, and false-started on the sequel several times. The next thing I knew, I was in my mid-thirties and wasn't the same man I was over a decade before.

After a lot of thinking and tinkering, I finally found my way back in, and the writing has been progressing.

What became apparent, though, was that I'd never actually written out a lot of the lore or the rules of the world(s). I had it all in my head, or in the first book, but I didn't have strong documentation. Having an IT background, such is anathema.

I knew what the relationship was between Lord Dell and Ravindranathan, but hadn't really fully articulated it. I knew what Raphael's true mission was, but hadn't actually written it out. I had a rough history of the various guilds and covens, but hadn't fully organized their hierarchies. I knew what had happened to Layne, but couldn't remember what his girlfriend's name was.

That first novel is, by my standards, a fairly lean, but well-toned, book, and it contained a wealth of knowledge that I'd never compiled into a single, easily-searchable database.

To that end, I started two side projects. One was a OneNote notebook that I could easily edit on the fly, and the other was a wiki (that I've yet to touch at all.) The OneNote is ... coming along. Sort of. It's getting there. Well, it has to.

***side note - if you want to pitch in and help with the wiki, I'll be very, very thankful and throw you a shout-out in the next novel! Just let me know!***

What I've been finding is that it's one thing to have a very strong vision for a world, but it's another to take that macrosopic view and drill down to the microscopic details.

I've just never been an organized writer. I don't really work with outlines. I tend to just be guided by feel and instinct. I have a rough idea of where things are going, but I love the thrill of getting there organically, and surprising myself. That's a fine way to work, but when world-building, you have to have rules, you have to have knowledge ready to go. Otherwise, you can commit the most grievous of sins: a lack of continuity. Nothing shatters the fiction like contradicting your own world.

Another thing is that this book isn't as tidy as the first. There are concurrent storylines in it, and that makes the organization all the more necessary. I need to make sure that all these threads don't tangle. Well, that, and I'm playing a dangerous game with two of the storylines that is bound to cause confusion for some, but will hopefully be a beautiful 'aha' moment for many.

Well, maybe. I floated a rough draft of the first few chapters by a very smart fellow writer and that person didn't at all grasp the trick I was playing, which of course led to a tantrum on my part. This person is a brilliant individual, and yet missed a few key, but very subtle details that kept them from fully enjoying the story.

That raises another question. Do I write for the audience or do I write for me? I know that seems like a 'duh' question to many, but it's a question with which I've wrestled for years, and is probably the main reason I'm so sporadic in my publishing. I always set out to craft the book/film/album/game that I've always wanted, but haven't been able to find, which implies that I'm writing for me. However, doesn't that defeat the purpose of then sharing and monetizing the project when I've finished it?

I usually find that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I suspect that's true here, as well.

The E-Book
So, I've been asked when the first EW book is making its way back to Kindle, Nook, and iBooks. It's coming, but not tomorrow. First, I need to buy another ISBN for it (which is my choice, so that I own all the rights to it instead of  my publisher), then I need to redo some of the formatting so that it makes a nice .epub file. The .epub conversion is a pain in the ass, and because of other commitments (the second novel, plus some musical work this winter), we're looking at spring 2013 at the earliest.

One thing I've always wanted to do is borrow from what visual media does with things like 'extras.' I'd like to pack in a 'commentary track,' so to speak. Right now, I'm thinking about, in the .epub file, at the end of each chapter, having a button for 'next chapter' and a button for 'commentary.' The commentary will be a brief write-up of some interesting insight and ramblings on the content of the previous chapter, while the 'next chapter' button jumps over it. At the end will be an essay about writing the book, editing it, publishing it, and all the 'life' things that went along with it.

I'm not sure, though. I'll have to play with it a bit. I guess the idea would be that you'd read the book without the commentary, and then go back, skim the chapter to refresh yourself, and then read the commentary. I dunno. I'm just spitballing at this point.

I've also considered adding 'deleted scenes,' but they're so fucking awful (to everyone but John) that I'm not really feeling that at this point. I mean, they got cut for a reason. Because they suck! Who wants to read that shit?

We'll see.

In Closing
I like writing about writing here. Sometimes it feels a bit masturbatory, and I think I got a little self-conscious about that. I'm friends with other writers, and some of them work really hard at having a 'writer' image, which I've always found a bit obnoxious. It's like they put on a uniform in order to be part of something larger, and I've never really been comfortable in that space. I shouldn't judge, though. If it helps someone write amazing shit, then the world is a better place for it.

That being said, I'd like to come back here and just write more often. I'm far more self-conscious than I'd like to admit, and I need to get over that. This is probably good therapy.

Anyway, that's all.

-Blaine

Buy Endless Wars: The Descent!
Amazon Barnes & Noble Lulu

Triplets

So, in rapping with my dear friends Iris and Bucho in the comments of my last post, something about which I'd been quietly meditating for a few days came up.

Iris indicated a reticence to work on more than one project at once, while Bucho made a great point about how multiple projects can, in a cool way, inform each other.

See, I've got three unfinished novels lying there, and a deep passion for each. One is a sequel to my last novel, another is the first steps into my own space opera, while the third is, I think, another horror/suspense piece. I think.

In any case, I'd been contemplating attacking two at once, and either alternating days on them, or just letting my passion go where it takes me, so long as I bang out that all-important page-a-day.

What's influenced this, as well, is my contemplation of how 'me time' works nowadays, as this would be the window in which I would tackle such an enterprise. The context of 'me' changes drastically not only when you partner with a mate for life, but when the two of you collaborate on an offspring or several. Being that I've extended what I 'need' in order to continue a reasonably palpable existence by bringing these two under my 'great umbrella of life,' this fundamentally alters what 'me' is, and thus 'me time' becomes something that is paroled with a severely diminished fervency. View this not as a complaint, but as a topic on which I'm meditating.

In any case, I just want to fucking write.

If I want it badly enough, I'll do it. Kinda like my recent surge in body maintenance.

I commented, previously, that I'm interested in trying to write first thing in the morning. I may have some quiet time in which I've not quite piqued the interest of the rest of the world, and the timing is in such proximity to the dream world, that I can't help but wonder if that aspect might be conducive to some pleasant surprises in my writing.

Alas, I despise getting up before 7AM, so we'll see. Otherwise, mayhap I'll just make some time in the hour or so before bed.

Yeah, so I'm eager to get cranking on something. I've got solid footholds on two of them, and some reworking to do on the space opera. I just made some odd decisions in its first few chapters, and need to clean that up. I'm thinking that one's shelved for a bit, while I'll push on the other two immediately. I may even fold the 'horror/suspense' novel into the Endless Wars universe. We'll see.

When do you write?

-Blaine

Too Much

Yeah, I'm definitely struggling with having taken on too much.

I don't think anyone can properly frame or provide a comprehensible context for which to explain to youth, 'You will literally run out of time every day when you're an adult.'

At the same time, it seems like tempting fate if I were to complain about it.

Really, it's something that's being sorted out by attrition, and if there's one thing I learned about myself in those first couple years of being a father, it's that your real priorities will always bubble up to the top, and you'll discover if you're a good or a terrible fucking human being real quick. I'm glad I came out a good man. I've seen some other guys do the opposite.

It's one of those 'good problems to have,' or as trendy classist dickwads are fond of saying, it's a 'first world problem.' I've got a goob job, a great family, and a fair number of people that wish to engage me in various activities. I just wish I had more time for the writing and gaming.

I guess the opposite would be that I'd be unemployed and everyone would hate spending time with me. I'm glad to be on the positive side of that scale.

I've gone about a week straight with being serious about dropping weight. I've been exercising, I've been improving my diet, and I'm seeing results. I plan to continue this behavior and do what I can to finally make women jealous of my wife.

I got a great story idea last week after an odd encounter with a gruff neighbor who's rather fond of a bizarre lawn ornament. It's something about a neighborhood that welcomes some rather bizarre hillbilly neighbors that bring with them the scarecrow from hell. I imagine it being made form some badly twisted black wrought iron and maybe it comes to life at night and shit. I dunno. I banged out a page or two, and am eager to get back to it. Just not enough hours in the day.

Not much else to say.

-Blaine

What The Avengers Did Right (part 2)

Where was I? Oh yes.

So, this one time, I was trying to write this entry on my netbook (remember those?) while in bed. It was so funny.

I'm back on the mega 19-inch laptop, and driving in comfort. This is the greatest not-really-for-a-lap-laptop ever. It's great for everything but portability, even if I do lug it up to my in-laws every time we visit (portable SWTOR, yo.)

But I digress ...

So, previously on Self-Indulgence Manifested, I rapped a bit about the films that led up to The Avengers, except for Thor, which was so middle-of-the-road that it somehow escaped my acerbic droppings. Now, since I'm a full week late, let's talk about the actual film.

First, let me start by explaining something about the writer and director (yes, Zak Penn also somehow got his name attached to the screenplay, but there is no way that the dumbfuck who excreted the script for X-Men: The Last Stand and the equally stanky 2008 The Incredible Hulk had more than a passing involvement here. Well, I guess he has a lot to do with the excellent show, Alphas, so maybe he suddenly learned that characters and story is integral to a decent script. Whatever.) Joss Whedon is the greatest creative mind of the last 20 years. No shit. I can prove it, too.

Take a moment and go watch the TV series, Firefly, and then the film conclusion, Serenity.

See? I told you!

Joss Whedon has mastered several key things over the years: playing characters off each other, showing not telling, and timing. He was already pretty good at this when he started the Buffy series years ago, he got really good in the later Buffy/Angel years, perfected it on Firefly, backslid somewhat on Dollhouse, and then made the greatest superhero film I've ever seen with 'The Avengers.'

Yes, yes, Batman fans, I know your boy, Nolan, made the best superhero film ever when he made Dark Knight, and yes, there's gonna be a better one this summer when Darker Knight: Knight Harder comes out, but let's be real here for a moment. The Dark Knight is a great film, no doubt, but I really can't watch it all that often. For one, Christian Bale, when he's doing 'the Batman voice,' sounds like he's having an orgasm while a kidney stone is stuck in his urethra, and really, I don't think the film is all that enjoyable. It's a great film, but I just don't love watching it. It's dark as hell, and I need relaxation now more than ever. The Dark Knight isn't relaxing, but I'm so glad that I've seen it, and that I own it on Blu-Ray. So I can watch it about once a year or two.

The Avengers, on the other hand, is fun without being idiotic. That's a rarity these days, in an age in which every 'summer film' has to cater to the lowest possible denominator (thanks for that, Michael Bay), and the closest we ever get to edgy anymore is yet another fucking Tim fucking Burton film (series of dark, silly image sans narrative coherence) that's all black and goofy and dark and whatever and ... zzz ...

The Avengers is the Kobe Bryant of summer action films. It doesn't give a fuck. It's going to take this whole goddam mess of Marvel characters, and whatever else Disney wants to dump on it, and it's going to win the fucking championship. This film, in 2+ hours, held a clinic for all the preceding films on how to do it right.


Even Captain America was interesting, and he's the most boring comic book hero ever.


While yes, I still mourn the disregarding of the excellent portrayal of the Hulk from Ang Lee's film, the Hulk here is as great as established cannon will let him be. Tony Stark is even better than in his own film. Thor was fun. I was actually startled by how compelling Black Widow and Hawkeye were.

However, the strength of these characters and their arcs was how well Joss played them off each other. Yes, the action was amazing, but the best scenes were when these characters were just interacting (except for one god-awful massive argument scene that is mercifully brief). It takes guts and mad skillz to make dialogue interesting in a film like this, and Joss makes it look perfectly natural.

A lot of credit goes to the actors, too. They play these scenes with grace, and look like they're really having fun.

I thought Mark Ruffalo was perfectly cast, by the way.

The best things about this film, though, was the pacing and the timing. The pacing of the film was spot-on. Lately, I've come away from one film after another feeling like I just got a clip show of the highlights of the beginning of an interesting story. When I finished this film, I felt satisfied. I felt like I'd seen a full story, and none of it felt rushed or abbreviated.

The timing within each scene itself aided that tremendously. Many people give Joss a lot of credit for being great with dialogue, and while that's true, I think his ability to time not only lines, but actions and moments, is his best in-scene ability. Think back to the most enjoyable Hulk moments in this film, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Joss Whedon handles structure better than anyone, which is what ties all this together. He's able to see the, literally, the 'big picture,' but he's also able to zoom way in, break a scene down, beat for beat, and have every moment count for something. I think the audience picks up on that, and is then more than willing to buy in for the whole ride.

I railed about 'character arcs' a lot in the previous entry, and as I alluded to before with my Kobe Bryant analogy, there is more done in this film with six character arcs than in any one previous 'Avengers character' filn, except for, maybe, the first Hulk and the first Iron Man.

OH! BY THE WAY! NO STUPID-ASS SHAKY CAM WITH EXTREME CLOSEUPS! NOT EVEN DURING ACTION SCENES! I COULD ACTUALLY TELL WHAT WAS HAPPENING ONSCREEN! I imagine this aided in my enjoyment of this film, as opposed to, I dunno, The Hunger Games, which was ruined by the camera work.

In closing, this is purely great storytelling, and I can't think of higher praise for a film.

If you haven't seen it, do so, and let me know what you think. AND STAY THROUGH THE CREDITS!

If you have, what'd you think? On top of that, what'd you think of it relative to the preceding character films? How has your favorite Avenger fared so far? What do you want to see in the future from this franchise?

This has made me all the more excited for Shane Black writing and directing the next Iron Man film.

I have no idea what I'm writing about next here. Any ideas? Whatever it is will be here next Wednesday (but check out my other blogs on the other weekdays!)

Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment!

-Blaine
Buy my book!

What the Avengers Did Right (part 1)

Real quick - I'm hoping to crank out something writing-related here every Wednesday and maybe something a little extra on Fridays.

The Avengers, leading up to the theatrical release, became a very big deal in my house among the male populace. My son and I sat down and watched every film that leads to this film, so that we could be ready for opening night.

It is odd, when looked upon from afar, that so many explicitly heterosexual men get extremely amped up about dudes in tights, especially given the bigoted & religious attitudes in the United States.

However, not all superhero films are created equal, and I seem to disagree sharply with the general populace about what makes a great superhero film.

I really enjoyed Ang Lee's 'Hulk,' but thought the second one, 'The Incredible Hulk,' was a rather generic exercise in 'going through the motions.' In Ang Lee's film, Bruce Banner has an incredibly complicated set of relationships with his father, his girlfriend, and himself. We see him work through these and confront issues, and we really take the time to let Bruce sort out what it all means. It's a thoughful and moody film that harnessed the visual medium wonderfully.

The second film was a series of tentpole action scenes with some dialogue in between. The Bruce Banner in this film has none of the complexities of the man in the first film. In this continuity, he inflicted everything on himself, which makes him a very different man. The biggest problem with the film, though, is that Bruce doesn't really have an arc. He's the same guy at the end of the film that he was at the beginning. We don't see any kind of struggle, we don't feel anything visceral about this character.

My feeling is that in a superhero film, the most interesting hero is one that needs to be heroic to overcome his circumstances. This is what separates him/her from 'us.'. They need to be able to do something that is impossible for any of us, and that ability is something that needs to be earned. They can earn it through the struggle to achieve it, or they can earn it by struggling to control it.

Look at Tony Stark in the first 'Iron Man.' His arc is fantastic. He starts out as a wealthy, entitled jerk-off that symbolizes everything that's wrong with the 1% in this country, but when faced with an extraordinary problem, finds that he feels compelled to fight for what's right. His transformation is a riveting and inspiring tale, and that carries all the way through to the completely shitty-ending final battle.

As a note, if you have your hero 'win' by accident, it just sucks. Nothing annoys me more that not having the hero earn the win. That 'right place, right time' shit is okay in real life, because it's what we're stuck with, but let us see our hero kick some ass, please.

And, Captain America sucked. Just flat-out. Yeah, there's an arc there, but it's not a compelling one. Maybe Steve Rogers isn't a sympathetic character? I don't know. I just never bought into or cared about his character, and his arc wasn't one that I found believable or compelling. His relationship with the super-hot gal from 'Pillars of the Earth' was kinda interesting, I guess.

What happens in that case is that I come away from the film feeling like not much happened in the two hours I spent watching it. Yeah, I know several plot points happened, but the character still feels flat and unrelatable, and my time and money just got wasted.

Congrats, Joe Johnston, you just made the first bad film with Hugo Weaving in it. Hugo Weaving is money, man. How do you fuck that up?

Pistol-whipping the Captain America film is a blog entry unto itself. While the film did, unequivocally, shit the bed, this is not the time or the place. That will come some other time.

Ultimately, I felt that film fell into the same trap as the second Hulk flick, in that it was a series of tentpole action scenes that were briefly interrupted by dialogue. It was boring.

At the same time, these films just make a shitload of bank, and you can't argue with return on investment.

Nothing, however, prepared me for what would happen when the studio allowed the greatest creative mind in Hollywood to write and direct 'The Avengers'.

What was your favorite of the films leading up to 'The Avengers?' How would you rank them? How'd you feel about each of them?

I'll continue this with part 2 on Friday.

-Blaine
Buy my book!

On the Road Again

I'm taking a break from exploring the endless expanse known to some as 'the Midwest' to bring you some exciting news.

The first novel in my 'Endless Wars' series is FINALLY available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

This has been a looong time coming, and I'm glad that we're finally here.

Also, it'll soon be up on the iBookstore. I'll blast something out when that happens.

To clarify, this is the same novel I released in 2009 with a different cover and a different font. If you wanna double-dip, my son's college fund thanks you.

Also, lulu.com still has the paperback and ebook available, and I actually make more money if you buy it that route.

Lastly, the ebook that is available through Lulu is fully compatible with Kindle and Nook. It's a DRM-free .epub file, so you'll have no trouble moving it from your computer to the ereader via USB.

If you haven't read it, it's the first book I wrote, way back in the 90s, and it may have accidentally triggered that whole 'urban gothic fiction' thing, though it actually has more in common with Star Wars than it does True Blood.

True Blood is a fine series, but it's not the kind of thing I'd ever write.

A Matter of Perspective


So, I'm fleshing out the story of my 'interactive novel' phone app, and I'm still going back and forth about the perspective in the writing. First, second, and third person are all on the table. I have a natural dislike for second person, because I'm not a pretentious fuckwad, and omniscient third person just doesn't seem right for a tale that's relying heavily on mystery. A lot of the game will be the reader controlling where the main character goes, what the main character says, and ultimately, what situation the main character ends up in. What do you think?

I've even given thought to breaking the fourth wall a bit, and forging a relationship between the main character and the reader, but we'll see. How do you feel when the author breaks the fourth wall.

I'm also still hashing out how to have a 'save game' that will a) save the reader's place AND choices, and b) port into the next volume and carry over the reader's choices. Anyone got any pro-tips?

Wedding Receptions


LOOK, if you're going to ask a guy to drive his family and three dogs across the midwest for your wedding, I would like it, NEIGH, I demand that you not serve ONLY diet vegan rabbit food at your reception. I get that you're into the whole 'fitness' thing, but GODDAM! I'm dieting, yes, but I'm doing so by eating normal portions of normal food, not by punishing my taste buds. The next time I walk up to a buffet table and see only carrots, cauliflower, strawberries, and other wild animal food, I may just flip the motherfucker over.

Sitting through a wedding is tough enough. Weddings are a whole lot of 'hurry up and wait.' To then symbolically knee someone in the groin by trying to ram bunny food down their throats is just uncalled for.

ON TOP OF THAT, if you're not gonna have soft drinks ... I don't know what to tell you. I'm an alcoholic meat eater. It's as if this reception was designed specifically to repel my presence. I don't drink and I eat good food. Bizarro Me would've been fine. The version of me that pounds the booze, wolfs down veggies, uses a Mac (oblivious to the irony of being a computer geek and using a Mac), pounds other man butts, and drives American cars would've been just fine at this reception.

Alas, this me has fucking standards, and was saved only by the courage and determination of a kind soul that must've seen the agony rippling through the crowd as the reality of the food selection eventually took hold.

In a single act of bravery, someone whipped up a white sauce chicken pasta, and delivered all of us from the evils of the Vegan Empire.

It was as if Bill Pullman burst into the kitchen and began yelling, 'WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT! WE WILL HAVE CHICKEN ON THIS DAY!'

I wanted to hug someone.

Understand, as well, that I was dealing with some things. There's a lot of drama at work right now, we are watching my parents' dogs, one of whom can make noise all night, we drove through horrid St. Louis traffic, right into two-hour Indianapolis construction traffic, followed by our dog keeping us up all night, and then I woke up with back spasms, so I took three Tylenol that were in the Tylenol bottle, except they were actually Tylenol PM, and it was a couple hours before the wedding, sooo ... yeah, the whole thing was kinda screwed up. I'm just glad that my relatives are super-cool and put up with my ass-ness.

That is all. If you haven't bought a book, please take a look at it.

Thanks, all! Leave a comment! I love to have discussions!

-Blaine

Sycophants and Ass-Clowns

First of all, if you're hitting this blog via the front page, please allow me to apologize for that Star Wars music that just auto-played. I hate that shit, too, but I didn't realize, two posts ago, that video was an auto-play when I embedded it. My bad. Just take a moment, scroll down, and pause it.

I'll wait.

Okay, so before I begin this tirade, I want to point you to a really good blog.

If you like this blog, but find yourself longing for something that's written much more coherently, and caters much more specifically to those that are interested in the craft of writing, and has fewer run-on sentences, and is less of a shambolic shithole, please allow me to introduce you to Fists & Angels, Christs & Angels. It's written by one of my good buddies, Bucho. We used to be super-tight, but then he turned into a better writer than I am, so fuck him.

Also, fake beer can really hit the spot on a Friday night when buried in your creative mental space. Yes, I'm THAT guy, now.

The title of this post ... it came from a conversation that I was having with some friends at work ... I vent a considerable amount lately, and for good reason. I vent for good reasons that I'm not going to get into here, but if you know me, you know what the deal is. The short version is that I plopped down in the chair next to Captain Butthurt's cubicle and muttered, 'I am so sick of dealing with sycophants and ass-clowns.' Yeah, there's some shit going down that I'm part of, but I'll survive it one way or another.

ANYWAY, the Captain said I had to use 'Sycophants and Ass-Clowns' as this weekend's post title. Since I do what I'm told, I did.

Truth
I sometimes fantasize about the inevitable future. Right now, the world is controlled by money, but eventually, all of us SysAdmins are going to rise up and grab them by the surprisingly undersized balls and demand a change.

You see, we control the world.

You don't necessarily know it right now, but your computer was able to be manufactured because several sysadmins allowed it to happen via networking and server administration. Your internet connection is maintained by an army of sysadmins. Your power stays on because sysadmins allow it by making sure that the right servers can talk to the right systems, in addition to maintaining the networking that goes into that.

We control the lights. We control the TV. We control the internet. We control the phones. We control the traffic lights. We control the porn. We control Justin Bieber. We control the world.

One day, reality TV will go away, or I will rally the troops and bring this world to its fucking knees.

Just think about it.

Network Programming
I want to talk about Alphas and Falling Skies for a moment.

It's rare that a major network doesn't fall upon its own sword to avoid producing a good science fiction series. Somehow, Falling Skies managed to become quite good after 2-3 episodes.

What it did well was follow the Walking Dead roadmap. It treated the aliens as a device, rather than as a focus, and shifted the emphasis to the people, and how they re-learn to live their lives.

While it's not nearly as good as The Walking Dead, it definitely filled a niche this summer.

If it wants to reach The Walking Dead status, it needs to make the characters more interesting, and stop just relying on conflict to achieve that. Conflict can be a good way to engage the viewer, but it gets tiresome if that's all that's going on.

They did seem to catch onto this a bit as the eight-episode season went on, but the show hasn't truly blossomed yet.

As for Alphas, this is my new SyFy show. This one has been solid from the pilot on. The characters are engaging and sympathetic, and the plots have been fun. It really is Heroes + X-Files.

If I had to recommend one new show for the summer, it would be Alphas.

That Phone App
The Windows Phone app is proceeding apace. I've been looking at approaches to the game logic, as well as incubating the 'story' in my head. I use quotes because it's not one linear story. If a story is a thread, this is a tapestry.

The logic part is challenging because this can really be approached a number of different ways. I could have a left-to-right branching series that starts skinny on the left, gets fat in the middle, then gets skinny again on the right, then gets fat again going further right, then gets skinny again, etc. I could also use an Enum, as suggested by Captain Butthurt, to tick a set of events, that once fulfilled, opens the next section, then repeats a few times. Additionally, I could also plant a few key decisions in a branching series that then set the path to one of several middle points, which then each open up to their own sets of branches, wash, rinse, repeat.

So, I've got some planning to do, then some writing, then some coding, and then a cigarette.

That Science Fiction Novel
This coming along well, if in a somewhat halted fashion. This is the first novel I've ever written in which I get self-conscious. It's very unlike me, but I'm really pushing things in a VERY adult direction, a la Battlestar Galactica or The Walking Dead, but with a dash of Firefly. I think part of my discomfort comes from the fact that I'm working in the holiest of genres for the first time, so I'm having to relearn my approach somewhat.

Also, this is the first book I've ever written while not totally shitfaced most of the time, so I'm having to rebuild my process somewhat. A writer gives him or herself permission to do a lot more when they're 'altered' while writing, and that can be a very potent thing, and I've handcuffed myself somewhat in terms of the creative process.

So, I'm loving this book so far, even if it makes me a little nuts sometimes. I think I'm lingering too long on certain characters, but it's because I'm so interested in them, and that's what editing's for, dammit.

Where the hell is the next Endless Wars novel?
It'll come. Not soon, though. There are other projects I want to get out the door first, and that's a series that's complicated for me to approach now.

Book Recommendations
I need some good non-licensed works reading. What ya got?

-Blaine

Soundtrack
Red Fang - Prehistoric Dog
Pearl Jam - The Fixer
Eddie Vedder - Can't Keep
Rob Zombie - Werewolf Women of the SS
Tres Mts. - She's My New Song
Rob Zombie - The Man Who Laughs
Tres Mts. - God Told Me
Brad - Luxury Car
Rob Zombie - Sick Bubblegum
Eddie Vedder - Dream a Little Dream With Me
Limp Bizkit - Loser
Avenged Sevenfold - Welcome to the Family
Brad - Runnin' For Cover
Foo Fighters - Dear Rosemary
Slash - We're All Gonna Die
Chris Cornell - Long Gone
Deftones - Diamond Eyes
Them Crooked Vultures - Spinning in Daffodils
Alice in Chains - Your Decision
Korn - Pop a Pill

Commence the Interactive Story Phone App ... NOW!

I talked before about making an interactive story app for Windows Phone. Well, now it's happening.

I finally dove headlong into educating myself more on C# yesterday, and emerged with a functional proof-of-concept. I built a very basic app that allowed me, in my Windows Phone Emulator, to tap a button that took me to another page, both of which had custom content on them.

From there, I did a few more hours of self-education and testing, just to see if I had the right feel for the actual building process, as well as to refine it, and then it was time to start thinking about the story itself, and how best to use the interactive process to tell it.

After that, I had to step outside for a smoke and think for a bit ... I've written novels, screenplays, short stories, poems, essays, love letters, lyrics, and I even dabbled a bit with interactive fiction back in college, in a class that combined .html with interactive fiction. Great class (tip o' the hat to Deb Lewis, who taught the course.)

One of the ideas I had in my head was my favorite part of any Bioware game, which is the dialogue and choices. Both branch, but only a little.

The thing about a branching story, though, is that the author has to reconcile each of those branches.

What I've usually seen done is a very cheesedick approach, in which the branches all reconcile to one or two main stories, or some just result in death (which, actually, if logically implemented, is valid), and ultimately, it's just unsatisfying.

However, the amount of writing it takes for a branching story is a staggering prospect. Just do the math.

And, I haven't even talked about the creative problems with it. Any good novelist can tell you that they have a 'feel' for the best possible thread through their story. Deviations from that thread feel wrong. Now, give the reader control, while remembering that Jersey Shore, Fox News, and Dancing With the Stars all pull down great ratings. There are a lot of stupid fucking people out there, and it's hard to even conceive of writing for them. Writing scripts for the previously mentioned programs has gotta be hell for the soul (and yes, they're scripted. Just look at how well things come together and how there's always a camera where there needs to be one.)

So, I think I'm going to have a 'right' main story that one can follow loosely, with groupings of events, in which that group of events can be completed in any order, with each one slightly varied by the order in which you approach them.

What I really want to do, though, is create a very twisted environment to which the reader will want to return and in which the reader will want to explore. I want to make a lot of dialogues and exploration optional, so that people can customize the experience for themselves. I want to create characters that readers will want to come back and get to know better, not just in this volume, but in future stories that take place in this small, weird, little Missouri town, known as Epitaph.

One of the last things that I did last night was use Visio to create a map of the town, so that I could start creating the lore of the town in my head, and it was the perfect idea, because I realize, as I was laying out the town, that there's a small area of the town in which the roads just stop, and in which no one lives. It used to be there, and now it's not. Also, there seems to be a trail of sorts, in which other roads are damaged, and it seems to lead to the woods just beyond the town ...

I've also got a story that's a combination of familiar folk tales and a friend's bitch of an ex-wife. It's going to be great.

The big thing I'm going for here, though, is environment and characters. Typically, plot and characters always come first for me, but I really wanted to use this as a chance to really build 'storytelling via the environment,' by which I can let the world and the look it looks, smells, and feels tell a lot of the story for me.

Also, as a means of keeping all the branches organized, I'll be using a Visio for that, as well, since it's one of the greatest applications ever for damn near everything.

Lastly, I wanted to gush a bit about how easy building a Windows Phone 7 App via Visual Studio 2010 is. I am, by no means, the world's most proficient programmer, by any stretch of the imagination, but the tools that Microsoft provides for developing WP7 apps are fantastic, as are the tutorials they provide. If you've never programmed before, this is a great entry point. I've got a year of C, a year of Java, and some Python and C# here and there, and I walked into this and just built an app after a few hours of tutorials and playing with it. I didn't even start at the baby levels of tutorials, either. Those really are built for folks that have NEVER programmed, so get on it! Get a Windows Phone and start making that app that you've always wished existed.

Ultimately, I'm trying to reshape the way stories are told in the modern world. No one's really doing it right anymore, and I'd like to take a shot at it.

What do you think? How would you like to see stories told now? Who does it really well? Who sucks at it the most?

-Blaine

Soundtrack
Chickenfoot - Future is the Past
Chris Shiflett & The Dead Peasants - Death March
Gregg Allman - Reconsider Baby
Serj Tankian - Beethoven's Cunt (live)
Eddie Vedder - Once in a While
Them Crooked Vultures - New Fang
Eddie Vedder - Sleeping By Myself
Them Crooked Vultures - Bandoliers

Vacation is a great time to get reacquainted.

I've been a negligent bloggist. I confess this much.

Much of this is due to the fact that I've been pretty satisfied with my life. I've been working full-time for a great company, and my IT duties there have commanded much of my attention. When I haven't been there, I've been doing the husband/dad thing, as well as working quite a bit with my old bandmates on a new musical project.

I'm thinking that this project is going to get its own blog soon, but not for another month or two, when we have a) the time thing figured out, and b) the rights thing figured out. Trust me when I say that you're gonna be blown away by what we've been working on. At some point soon, we'll be revealing the full lineup, along with a song preview. If you remember some of the cats I worked with back in the 90s, you'll see some familiar faces.

It's an hour and a half past midnight now, so I am officially on vacation. It's been a while, so I'm rather pleased.

I plan to chronicle as much of this vacation as I can. I'll be chronicling my never-ending quest to be totally portable with all my requisite technology. One big thing this time out is that I now have a mobile wifi device, which I plan to keep running non-stop during our trip, so I'll be reviewing that device day by day, and at some point, I'm going to try and play a game online while in the car. More on this as it develops.

Also, I'll be exploring cities in which I've never been, so you'll be getting my review of such cities as Pittsburgh & Baltimore. My understanding is that Baltimore has 4G fucking everywhere, in which case it gets an automatic A+.

Ultimately, my clan and I will end up in Virginia Beach, VA for about a week, and you will be saddled with my beach & alcohol-riddled thoughts, should you so choose to check back here. I will be exploring the area, as well as beating the shit out of some games, as well as kicking it with some relatives, so there will be plenty of entertainment here, and the Untitled Gaming blog.

After that, I'll try to get back into a rhythm here. LOL.

Stay posted. Thanks for reading. Lemme know if I should check anything out in Indianapolis, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Washington D.C., or Virginia Beach.

-Blaine

Summer in St. Louis

St. Louis summers are brutal, apparently, to outsiders. Perhaps since my sister and I came here at such a young age, we're accustomed to it, but it's always interesting to see my wife cast off her outdoorswoman persona in favor of air conditioning. Yeah, the 90+ degree heat can be tough, and yeah, the humidity makes you feel like you're walking through a thick cloud of moist hotness all the time (that's not an exaggeration, either), but the intensity of the heat always makes me feel like home has come to me. Nothing reminds me more of being home than St. Louis in the summer time.

I keep expecting the sentimental part of me to fall off, wither, and die, and I kind of wish it would hurry up and happen. At first, it's hard thinking that your days of 'joy w/ no responsibility' are behind you, but then as you age and harden, and it becomes a certainty that you're never going to feel that way again, it gets downright traumatic. I know it's wrong and childish to feel that way, so I work at curbing it and making myself know it's wrong to feel that way, but ... it is there.

Feeling like you've returned home can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, yes, it's a relief to wrap myself in summer's oppressively hot and damp blanket, but on the other, it's hard to contemplate that your most joyful days are behind you.

I'm still trying to find that balance, though. Having a great family, great friends, and great job is helping, I think.

Dexter

Watching Dexter is the best therapy I've ever had. I feel normal when I watch it.

What's most interesting to me is how they deal with the fact that being a childhood trauma survivor isolates the shit out of you as an adult. While Dexter doesn't necessarily deal with it in the best way possible all the time, I relate to him more than I do any other protagonist I think I've ever seen or read. At first, that really bothered me, since ya know, he's a 'crazy serial killer' and all. He's not, though. Calling someone 'crazy' is just an excuse to not take the time to reason out why they are the way they are. If you watch the show, you're probably very comfortable with how he chooses his 'victims.'

In any case, it's a great show, and expertly written.

What About the Next Endless Wars Book?

There are 2-3 chapters in place, and the whole thing is on hold while I work on a record with a couple guys I used to play with back when I was at least semi-relevant in the local scene. It's amazingly refreshing to be working in music again, and I'm amazed that I still have so much to offer. It uses an entirely different part of the brain than writing does, which is very cool.

Depending on the potential permanence of the band, I may work on the two simultaneously, but we'll see. I've not been able to do that before, but I've also historically been an incompetment fuckwit, which is not true anymore.

Cool. Thanks for reading.

What are your summer plans?

-Blaine

The Endless Wars: The Descent (section 2)

Sorry about the late post. Been up to my eyeballs in Java code.

As I promised, I've been posting the first three sections of my book. Here's the second part, preceded by Laurance's sexy art.



Read section I here.

***begin section II***

II: The Knight and the Thug

Listening to his friend and roommate Milk Bone’s
pointless and sometimes idiotic babbling usually
cheered Taran up. This is why the two of them ended up
at a bar a couple of hours after Rosaline made her
exit. They looked very odd sitting together. Taran,
in all his plainness, with his short spiked hair, plain
white t-shirt and blue jeans, stood out in contrast to
Milk Bone, a short, wiry white guy wearing a backwards
blue road Cardinals hat, white wife-beater shirt,
sagging blue track pants, with broken teeth. He was
convinced he was a “gangsta,” as he put it.

They were sitting at one of the sidewalk tables
outside of their favorite bar, M.P. O’Reilly’s. It was
busy that night, and the two men were surrounded by
couples, either with their own table, or with other
couples. Taran tried his best not to notice this.

For November, it was pretty nice that night. A
little chilly, but tolerable. Taran was fine in his
Shell coat (from working there a few years prior,) and
Milk Bone slid on a Cardinals jersey, in addition to
all the fake jewelry in which he covered himself.

And, sure enough, Milk Bone was on a roll
tonight.

“So, I was like, ‘ight, bitch, you wanna do it
like that, that’s coo. I mean, shit, man, I ain’t
gonna have no bitch talk to me like that. Know what
I’m sayin’?”

As amusing as Milk Bone, or just “Bone”
sometimes, could be, when Taran was in as foul a mood
as he was now, he dreaded actual conversation.

“Sure, Bone, so what’d you do?”

“I was like, ‘Bitch! I am Milk Bone T! Ain’t no
woman gonna play Milk Bone! Fuck na!’ So, I grabbed
her by her nappy ass hair, flipped her around, started
fuckin’ the hell outta her, and she’s all like,” Bone
switched to his girly voice here, “‘Oh, Milk Bone!
Milk Bone! Fuck me, you big horny nigga!’ The bitch
was lovin’ it! But, that ain’t the fucked up part! Ya
ready for this shit?”

“Oh yeah, Bone. Hit me.” Taran snorted.

“So, I’m fuckin’ the hell outta her, right. And,
she starts panting like a dog. I’m like, ‘ight, that’s
kinda whacked out, but people do weird shit when
they’re fuckin’ sometimes, so I was like ‘okay.’ Then,
get this! The bitch starts fuckin’ barkin’, dude! The
bitch started fuckin’ barkin’!”

“No pun intended, right? ‘Bitch barking.’ Get
it?” Taran said, cracking a tiny smile, then realizing
that Milk Bone’s comprehension of this was nil.

Bone stared blankly before resuming his
narrative.

“I was like, ‘HELL NA!’ I saw that Snoop video
where he turns into a fuckin’ dog and shit! So, I’m
like ‘what if this bitch fuckin’ turns into a…bitch?!’
Fuck na, man! Fuck na! So, I fuckin’ kick her skank
ass outta my bed and I’m like ‘Bitch! Go back to your
damn dog house. See ya!’ Damn, nigga...”

“Ah, the epic tales of Milk Bone T. Did you ever
see her again?” Taran asked.

“No, man, but I did find some dog shit on the
front porch the next week, so-”

Taran held up a hand.

“I get it, I get it. Real quick, was wondering
if Rosaline had called the house phone recently? I
heard it ring a few times…just thought…” Taran trailed
off.

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

Milk Bone sat there, hesitating.

“Nah.” he nearly whispered.

Taran couldn’t decide if he was surprised.

“What?” he asked anyway.

“Um, no.” Bone answered again, just as hoarsely

“Okay.” Taran didn’t know what else to say. He
didn’t even know why he bothered caring.
Milk Bone’s eyes suddenly widened as he leaned
forward and attempted to shift the conversation.

“Why? You still want her? Look, man, come with
me to Cherokee Street and we’ll get you a nice cheap
ho. I know this one chick that me and my brother used
to get. Her name was ‘Queeffie Lou’ or some shit, and
anyway, she fuck pretty good. She’s real cheap, man.
I remember this one time-”

“That’s alright, Bone. Don’t worry about it. I
just wanted to know if Rosaline had called.”

“Okay.” Bone stopped and thought. “So…what the
fuck is you gonna do about her?”

Now, it was Taran’s turn to stop and think.

“I don’t know, man. I do know I don’t wanna be
with her. I just want to hurt her. And hurt her. And
hurt her. Etcetera and so on.”

Milk Bone stared at the base of his beer glass
and admired the way the wrought-iron table as he tried
to be invisible and just let Taran do his thing.

Taran continued, “I know you don’t understand.

That’s fine. I don’t care. Revenge. That’s all it’s
about. As soon as I’m done, I can move on.”

“So, when do you think you’ll be done?” Bone
asked.

Taran paused and thought again. “I don’t know.
Whenever I’m fuckin’ done, man.”

“I’m just sayin’, dude. Don’t pass up a fine
little honey just ‘cause you’re trying to fuck up your
ex.”

“We’ll see, man.” Taran said.

“So, what have you done so far?”

“What do you mean?”

“You want revenge on the bitch, right? So what
have you done to get revenge so far?” Bone asked.

“I don’t know, man. Nothing yet.”

“Why?” Bone asked.

“I just haven’t had any good opportunities yet.
As soon as I do, though…”

“Taran, all you gotta do is get a ride out to
West County and-“

“Drop it, man. It’s my problem. Don’t worry
about it.”

“Whatever you say, dawg.” Milk Bone said, leaning
back and grabbing his Old English 800.

Taran sighed, grabbed his pack of American
Spirits, pulled one out, lit it, and looked around.

Almost as soon as he turned his head, he locked eyes
with a young woman in a black cloak. She smiled at
him. He just stared back at her.

She had small, delicate features, and was almost
painfully petite. Little locks of short brown hair
spilled out from under her hood.

“Ya know her, dawg?” Milk Bone asked, leaning
over and looking at her.

“No. I don’t know. She looks very familiar,
but…I don’t think so.”

She looked away. Taran and Milk Bone followed
her gaze. A man, close to Taran’s age, sat down with
her, but he was dressed in a rather outdated fashion.
He wore a white, loose fitting blouse that was covered
with a leather vest. His hair was pulled back into a
ponytail and a thick, light brown beard covered his
face. It was as if he had just walked off a Gettysburg
reenactment.

“That blanket she’s wearing is kinda hot. It’s
all like ‘Dark Crystal’ and shit,” Milk Bone chuckled.

“It’s called a ‘cloak.’”

“Whatever. It’d look better balled up on my
floor while I fucked her.”

Taran shook his head. He looked back at the
woman. She was engaged in conversation with the oldfashioned
man next to her.

“I wonder who that guy is and why he’s dressed
like that. Must be an actor.” Taran pondered, turning
to Milk Bone.

“What guy?” Bone asked, looking around the young
woman.

“The guy sittin’ next to her, man.” Taran said,
surprised, and subtly pointed with his thumb.

Bone continued to stare at the girl, then shook
his head.

Taran rolled his eyes and drank his Bud Light.
Milk Bone shrugged.

“He is sitting right fucking next to her.” Taran
pointed.

Milk Bone looked at Taran, then cracked a
confused smile.

“Are you, like, messin’ with me, dude? Do you
really seriously see some dude over there, ‘cause
there’s nobody with her. That little girl is a-lone,
dawg.” Milk Bone said, looking directly at Taran.

Taran looked at the old-fashioned man. Something
was definitely odd about him. Not just his style of
dress, but something else. His skin was too white, but
there was more.

The man looked up at Taran and nodded, halfway
smiling.

“Hey, Bone, let’s go over and introduce
ourselves.” Taran suggested, standing up.
Bone grabbed his beer, tucked a cigarette behind
his ear, and jumped up.

The two men approached the young woman’s table.

She and her male companion looked up.

“Good evening,” she said to Taran, smiling at
him, “I’m Sasha.” she offered her hand at this, which
Taran graciously took.

“I’m Taran Walker. This is Milk Bone.” Taran
turned to the old-fashioned man, “What’s your name?”

The man smiled, leaned forward, and spoke.

“Can your friend see me?”

Taran looked at Milk Bone.

“Can you see this guy?” he asked, pointing at the
man.

Milk Bone shook his head, stared at the ground,
and mumbled to Taran.

“You’s gonna freak her out, dude. Don’t fuck up
my game, dawg. Knock off this invisible friend shit.”

Taran turned back to the man and shook his head.
The man began to speak again.

“I didn’t think so. He doesn’t strike me as one
of…the type, though it is hard to tell. I’m just
relieved that you’ve returned.”

Taran screwed his face up and looked at Sasha,
then back at the man.

“’Returned?’” he asked.

“Yes. Look, this is going to take some time to
explain. You’ve been drinking, and I’d rather wait
until you were sober. Can you meet Sasha and myself at
Coffee Cartel tomorrow at around six?” the man asked.

“Hang on. What’s your name and why can’t Milk
Bone see you?” Taran demanded.

“I think the more pressing question is-“
Sasha cut him off.

“Ghost, enough with this stoic crap. His name is
Richard Barrywood and your friend can’t see him because
he’s a ghost. The reason that you and I can is…well…
we’re different from Milk Bone. Look, Ghost here will
explain everything tomorrow.”

Milk Bone sat there, staring at the empty chair,
his eyes wide.

Taran turned to Ghost, annoyed.
“Guess what? I’m having sort of a bad day. I
had a bad breakup earlier, and have ZERO fucking
patience for more lies. And YOU,” Taran pointed at
Milk Bone, “I should kick the shit out of you for
agreeing with these people to play some kind of stupid
joke on me. I’m going home, and the next person who
tries to fuck with my head better be ready to defend
themselves. I’m out.”

Milk Bone stammered.

“Dude, I…I…I dunno shit about no ghosts, dude.
I’m goin’ witchoo.”

Sasha stood up.

“Taran, she wasn’t lying to you earlier. She
really loves you. She wasn’t sure of it, but now that
she’s lost you, she knows. She-“

“Sasha, stop it.” Ghost cut in.

Taran exploded at her, pointing a finger at her
as if it was a dagger.

“Don’t talk to me about Rosaline like you know
her! I swear to God, I don’t hit women, but I will
knock your fucking head off if you don’t-“

Milk Bone grabbed Taran and started dragging him
away. Taran struggled, trying to wrench himself free.
People at other tables watched the scene, whispering
between themselves.

Suddenly, Sasha stood up and interlocked her
fingers, then flicked each one, one by one, from thumb
to pinky on each hand. She turned them palm up, her
fingers still locked together, then muttered, “Peace,”
and raised her hands up to her mouth. A little ball of
light formed. She pressed her lips together and blew.
The ball leaped out of her hands and slipped into
Taran’s chest.

Bodies flew away from the scene as people
confusedly began to panic. A roar began to pass
through the bar.

A feeling of severe intoxication hit him. Not
quite intoxication, he decided, but rather, peaceful
exhaustion.

“What…the…ugh…” Taran mumbled. Milk Bone looked
confusedly at Sasha, who was preparing a discreet exit
with Ghost, then hoisted Taran up by his arm, walking
him home.

***end section II***

There ya go. Again, check out the book here, and please please please help me buy my own ISBN. If you're not looking to drop $15.42 on a book, you can always snag the ebook for $1.25. I make the same amount on each version, so it really doesn't matter to me which one you buy.

I'd write more, but I got class all day today, and next to no time.

Either way, thanks for reading, and I'll have the third section up by Friday!

GO CARDS!

Thanks!

-Blaine

This is Monday

First, we're deviating a bit from my appointed scheme to do something a little different this week. I'm slowly ramping up the pace at which I'm working on the second novel in the Endless Wars series, as I'm starting to really get a better feel for how rough and raw this book is going to be, and I'm getting a creative boner for it. Like massively. Hawt,

Anyway, I'm actually going to post the first three major sections of the original on here this week, so that you all can be bribed with a free taste into buying a book. I tried to write the story I'd always wanted to read, and I'd like to share it with as many people as possible, and try to see if I can do this for a living some day.


Untitled Podcast
Before we get to that, though, there is the matter of the podcast. Tony and I sat down together and yammered incessantly about games we don't own for nearly three hours. And some people like that. Fascinating.

We do appreciate that, so here is the podcast page. Please enjoy, and we'll be returning to the mics in a little less than three months.


Regular Programming
I'll be getting back to the regular posts in a week or two. I'm going to focus on Endless Wars for a week or two, not only to try and properly convey what it is to those who haven't grabbed it already, but to get myself in the right mindset while I work on the next book in the series.

Also, for anyone who's read it, lemme know if ya have any questions about it. I'd love to talk with existing readers and see what they thought, as well as answer any questions they might have.


Big Thanks
Just wanted to give a public 'thanks' to both Laurance and Cody, who are both great artists, allies, and friends. Cody did a lot of the art for the Untitled Podcast in the past. He also writes rather well about games, and has one of the last good gaming blogs out there.

Laurance, and his company, Physical City, did a gorgeous fucking banner for my book, and all the free prostitutes in the world wouldn't be a big enough 'thank you' to him. Whether it's a banner, a graphic for a page, a book cover, a billboard, a buttocks tattoo, a comic book, whatever, make goddam sure you chat w/ the dudes over at Physical City for any and all art needs. No shit. Do it. Now.


The Endless Wars: The Descent (section 1)
Here we go, and please note the nice-ass banner made up by the above-mentioned Physical City.



begin section one of the Endless Wars: the Descent

I: Curtain
November, 2001

Dark, ominous clouds. Lightning. A flood of
rain pouring down. Decaying, long dead buildings.
Streets that look like they haven’t been repaved since
the rule of Louis XVI. A cop substation in the
distance. More rain.

That was the landscape that was sucked into
Taran’s eyes. His view shifted around, as if he was
desperately trying to find something not dying, not
gray, at which to stare. He could feel the
lifelessness infecting him.

Taran Walker was twenty three years young, and
possessed the body of a man. His height and build were
just about average (roughly 5’8, with a fair amount of
muscle.) His dark brown hair and brown eyes added to
his almost average appearance. His face was adorned
with a beard that circled his mouth, and his eyes
contained a coldness that looked very heavy.

His room was covered in dirty laundry, various
magazines and books, boxes of CDs and other belongings,
empty beer bottles and cigarette packs everywhere. A
bare mattress was in the corner, with an ashtray and a
digital alarm clock next to it. The walls had probably
once been white, but those days were long since gone.

Of course he loved her. Of course he did. Not
“in love,” mind you. But he did love her. How could
he not? An inch shorter than him, red hair, green
eyes, tiny waist, perfect curvy body, and that weird
Jedi Mind control over guys. She was one of those
girls that was great at convincing you that you needed
her above all else, and by the time you realized that
you didn’t, you had already wrecked your life so badly
that your best strategy was to cower in her shadow
until you thought of some really clever escape plan.

Rosaline was really something.

But, Taran had learned. About four months prior,
she had cheated on him and dumped him for a military
school cadet three years his junior. After four years
of something that almost reminded him of perfection.

So, there she stood. Fighting and pleading to be
taken back.

“I’m done with you.” Taran said, surprisingly
calmly, though he let out several ragged breaths after-
wards

“I can’t fucking believe you. It’s really
interesting, really, really interesting, Taran, how
this ‘honor’ that you always talk about comes and goes
whenever it’s convenient for you! Isn’t ‘forgiveness’
included in your little ‘code of conduct?’” she paused,
inhaled a sniffle, “Taran, listen to me. Please. I’m
standing here telling you that I love you.”

Taran’s mind raced, trying to decipher her tactic.
He had known her for a long time, and knew
that every single word that left her beautiful, pale
lips was part of a larger strategy. She never did or
said anything unless she was going to gain something
from it. He had been brilliantly manipulated by her
over the last year, and was done with it. Just done
with it.

First, it had been the gaps in her schedule.

Hours of time that were missing in her life that she
would claim had been used for napping, which she never
did, or extra homework, which was also unusual. She
always plowed through her homework in a very short
time, a testament to her intelligence. Sometimes, she
would even manufacture reasons to explode at him, so as
to avoid him for the hours it took to be with her
lover.

Then, Taran had caught them.

Rosaline arched her back and touched her breasts
in a way she NEVER did with Taran...she bounced up and
down on him [GRINGO] in a way she never had with
Taran...her gasps and [FAKED] orgasms sounded much more
violent, more felt, more appreciated than they ever had
with Taran...Taran moved away from the doorway...wished
he had been noticed by them...

She had claimed that not only was Taran losing
“it,” but so was their relationship. She had said that
things hadn’t been the same since...

She saw Taran lying bloody on his couch, shards
of glass embedded in his face...white powder caked
under his nose...she knew he was supposed to be dead...

He figured that she, being only 19, had gotten
bored and curious. He had been warned that she had
been too young when they started dating, and here he
stood, the biggest goddam fool in the world.

He continued to stare out the window and absorb
the rather depressing landscape. He took another drag
off his cigarette, exhaled, and turned to face her. He
hated this moment. The moment after you’ve been facing
away from a lover or an ex you’ve been fighting with
and then, suddenly you turn, look at them, and remember
why you were facing away. They’re the most beautiful
individual in the world.

He very calmly approached her. He caressed her
cheek with his hand and smiled at her.

“I will always love you, I’m sure. I just don’t
ever want to see you again,” he whispered, his smile
trembling, “and please, just let me go. Please. I
can’t-“

“Taran, I left you for Johnny Gringo. Another
guy. You are not the first person this has happened
to. You’re acting like this is some horrible new
problem in the world. It happens all the fucking
time.”

He pulled away from her, his unstable smile
dissolving into a sigh. His eyes rolled as he threw
his hands up in the air.

“Ya know, Roz, there was a time when I thought
you might actually be capable of feeling guilty for
something, or actually really, truly loving someone. I
suspected you were incapable of having a shred of
humanity a year ago, and now, I’m sure of it.”

Rosaline looked away from him, her green eyes
flicking all over the place. She bit her lip and
nodded her head.

“Taran,” she began, her voice quieter and
sweeter, “Can we just...start over, or something.
Please? I-“

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Taran exploded,
slapping a beer bottle off of his window sill and into
a wall. Rosaline jumped away from the glass shards
that sprayed out.

“Calm down!” she yelled, pointing a long,
perfectly sculpted finger at him. The red nail shined
from the light of the street lamp outside.

“Then stop! It’s like you can’t decide if you
want me back so that you can torture me some more or
because you actually do love me. Just leave! Go!”

“Taran, stop it. Look, let’s calm down and just
talk, okay? No more yelling, okay? Let’s just relax
and talk this out.” Rosaline offered, almost speaking
in a whisper.

“No.” Taran grunted through gritted teeth. He
turned and stared at the dying night through his window
again.

Rosaline’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Don’t you understand? I made a mistake. If I
wounded you, I-“

Taran whirled to face her, smashing his cigarette
into the ashtray as he turned.

“Some wounds heal and some wounds scar. Do you
know what it means to be wounded? Do you know what
it’s like when that wound comes from someone you love?
When that wound is accidentally inflicted, that is
easily forgivable. When that wound is intentional, it
is not. When it is intentional and repeatedly fucking
inflicted, it goes into a realm beyond hatred and
sadness. I believe the term ‘inhuman’ was fashioned
for just this kind of act. You have never loved me and
are incapable of doing so. Leave now.”

He turned back to the window. Tears dripped off
of his rough cheeks and into the ashtray, extinguishing
the burning remains of the cigarette.
Rosaline stared at him for a few moments, then
finally spoke in a choked voice.

“What happened to you? You used to be...”
Still staring out the window, never turning to
look at her, Taran responded.

“Never mind what I used to be. It’s no concern
of yours any longer. You will never have to worry
about it again. I’ve relieved you of that. Good bye.”

All Rosaline could do was stare. Or, at least
attempt to. The tears were flowing so heavily she had
to repeatedly blink. He was gone for good this time.
Forever. And, yet, there he was. Standing maybe a
foot away. He was right in front of her! She could
reach out to touch him. One last time. Her last
memory of him could be the feeling of their skin
touching.

However, she was convinced this would not be
their last shared memory.

She bent down, picked up her purse, walked out of
the room, and began to head down the stairs.

For whatever reason, he didn’t feel that great
sense of victory he had expected.

Taran stared out of his window, his hands clasped
behind his back, and watched her exit the building and
run to her car. Rosaline was gone.

The dying city lay before him, waiting.

end of the first section of the Endless Wars: the Descent

So, that's the first part of the book. I'll post more of it tomorrow, and the following day, and then we'll see what we do with the rest of the week. I'll also answer some of last week's 'Writing Wednesday' questions.

Now, when it comes to buying the actual book, there are two options:

Buy a real book for $15.42!

Buy an ebook for $1.25!

The choice is yours, and I make the same $1 off of it either way, so please just buy the version that makes it easier for you to read it!

The long-term goal is make enough to buy my own ISBN, so any help you can contribute is very, very appreciated.

See ya tomorrow.

-Blaine

Writing Wednesday #2: Continuing the Story

The only thing harder than starting something new is finishing it. Whether it be playing a Japanese RPG, reading one of my books, bringing a woman to orgasm, or writing your own fiction, it can be tremendously hard to finish something you started.

Have no fear, though. I can at least help you with the writing bit. And I do know my way around a few JRPGs.

So, you've got a solid idea, you have some idea about the execution, you've gotten a bit of it hammered out, and now it's the next day. Or the next week. Maybe even a year later, and you kinda beat yourself up over letting that once-grand story just sit and fester. Sometimes you load it up, stare at it, maybe add a sentence or so, then shut it down in frustration.

That's totally normal. I honestly believe that this is the fate of most stories.

When I was initially writing the first Endless Wars book, I had more than a few moments like that. Sometimes, I was able to get past it by simply leaning back, sucking down a drink, and puffing down a smoke. It was a matter of just getting into the right head space.

That was sometimes. More often that not, though, that didn't put me into the right mental space.

I'm a firm believer in warming up. Whether it be athletics, programming, mathematics, sex, or writing, I need to get the engines revved first.

With writing, I like to go back to everything I wrote in the previous session, and start really editing it. By doing that, I find that my mind starts to re-shape itself into what it needs to be for that story. Every story has its own distinct personality, and it's important to get back in touch with that before banging out new ideas. Now, if you're writing on it every day, this may be less needed, but if you're coming back to something for the first time in a while, it's almost required, just so you know what the hell is going on in your story, if nothing else.

Even when I'm writing on something every day, I find that this helps me not only get my mind right, but it also allows me to take a more critical eye to the previous day's work, since I'm not totally into that space yet. You want as many different perspectives on your own work as possible, and since I generally don't share works in progress with others, this lets me act as my own on-the-fly editor, at least until I'm done.

If you're a persistent drunk, this is almost necessary, since a) you may or may not remember the actual events that transpired in your story the night before, and b) you may also have some rather egregious issues in your spelling and grammar.

Oh, and you know how some things seem like a great idea when you're drunk (climbing on your roof, knife-throwing contests, eating White Castle, sharing your true feelings with your boss via email, waking your wife up for drunk sex @ 6AM, etc.), but make you want to move to a remote part of the Yukon the next day? Well, the same applies to your book, so you may want to take a peek at how melodramatic and annoying you made your main character the night before.

Back to general editing, though, what I like most about this is that not only do I get pulled back into my book this way, but I get excited about banging out new material, so that when I'm done editing the last session, I hit the ground running, and I'm fired up about my new ideas.

Additionally, if I think about the current project while I'm in the shower, just after waking, I find that a lot of good ideas come to me then. Sometimes, I'll write them down, or I'll just salivate over them the rest of the day, and find myself chomping at the bit to get moving on the book again.

Another important key is building a process, especially if you're not the most practiced writer. Find a space in which you like to write, as well as the right music, and maybe even time of day. Sometimes there's a particular daily activity that, if you follow it immediately with writing, you churn out good work.

When I wrote the bulk of my book, I used to do it immediately after work, at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon (I would get up at the ass-crack of dawn to rip the guts out of chicken and then marinate them by the the hundreds all day), with music on and a movie on. I needed as much chaos as possible at that time. I would usually drink and chain-smoke, too. I would do that for about an hour or two each day. I cranked out the majority of my book doing that.

Now, if you start to really get somewhere as a writer, don't become a slave to your process. I know that this flies in the face of what most other writers will tell you, but they're cowardly pussies who like to make excuses for the lack of challenge they give themselves. Own your process and writing talent, and make them both work for you.

Additionally, when I was still in a band, most of my great song ideas would come to me while I was driving. It was a bit annoying, since guitar riffs are hard to preserve in your head for as long as I needed them to, sometimes. I think some of my best songs came from cruising the dirty city streets in my 1991 Pontiac Transport minivan back when I was a teenager. Make note of when your best ideas come to you, and what you're doing at those moments.

Nowadays, my biggest hurdle is just time. I'm actually trying to build a more consistent day-to-day schedule, so that I can get way too many things done. I'll admit that I don't crank on the fiction like I used to, but that's changing. The second Endless Wars book has a very solid beginning, and my G-doc project is still rattling in my brain, daring me to fail.

Really, time is a bitch, and is probably the greatest enemy of any unaccomplished writer. I know that I certainly don't have the time I'd like for my fiction, especially when I'm cranking out blogs like this, but it'll come. I know what I had to do to write that first book, I'm applying lessons learned from that to the second book, but I'm also learning what unique demands this book is making.

The bottom line, though, for any serious writer is the following: a page a day. Period. Even if it's crap. A page a day will get you to the point where your biggest worry is finding an agent and having a finished novel that you want to publish.

So, to recap:
- start out by editing the previous session's work; get yourself a running start into the new material; you will also see things that need to be addressed NOW, which is a bonus
- develop a process; discover the right location, music, habits, lighting, time of day, etc. that help you succeed as a writer
- A page a day. Seriously. A page a day. Do it. A page a day.

In Other News

- don't forget that Tony and I are returning to the mics these next two weekends, to record two new episodes of Untitled Podcast: Collector's Edition. We'll be rapping about Tokyo Game Show this weekend and doing a full-on Holiday Preview the following weekend. Have any games you just gotta hear about? Drop 'em here!

- Any current events you wanna hear about tomorrow? It'll be Thopical Thursday (a terrible attempt at a pun, I know, but just play along), so I'll be grabbing some poor, defenseless recent topic and beating the shit out of it. I'm thinking about addressing people's obsession with weird, unimportant shit like Kanye (the brand of a product) interrupting another brand's product placement award, to express dissatisfaction that a different ad hadn't been selected as 'the best' at selling products. I dunno. I sometimes feel like in a science fiction world where the advertisement has become more important than the actual product. Yes, this does sound like a great topic.

- I mentioned the Bodybugg on Monday, and I've now lost 4 pounds in the first 6 days. I don't expect that pace to continue, given the way weight loss works, but it is pleasing in the short term. I have a fuck-ton more weight to drop before I can make non-crazy people accept that a classy chick like my wife would actually copulate with me.

I believe that is all for now.

How is your writing going? Or any other creative project you may be taking on? Any advice you wanna contribute to those having trouble continuing to work on a creative project? Are you seeking any advice? Post it in the comments below!

-Blaine