This is Monday

First, we're deviating a bit from my appointed scheme to do something a little different this week. I'm slowly ramping up the pace at which I'm working on the second novel in the Endless Wars series, as I'm starting to really get a better feel for how rough and raw this book is going to be, and I'm getting a creative boner for it. Like massively. Hawt,

Anyway, I'm actually going to post the first three major sections of the original on here this week, so that you all can be bribed with a free taste into buying a book. I tried to write the story I'd always wanted to read, and I'd like to share it with as many people as possible, and try to see if I can do this for a living some day.


Untitled Podcast
Before we get to that, though, there is the matter of the podcast. Tony and I sat down together and yammered incessantly about games we don't own for nearly three hours. And some people like that. Fascinating.

We do appreciate that, so here is the podcast page. Please enjoy, and we'll be returning to the mics in a little less than three months.


Regular Programming
I'll be getting back to the regular posts in a week or two. I'm going to focus on Endless Wars for a week or two, not only to try and properly convey what it is to those who haven't grabbed it already, but to get myself in the right mindset while I work on the next book in the series.

Also, for anyone who's read it, lemme know if ya have any questions about it. I'd love to talk with existing readers and see what they thought, as well as answer any questions they might have.


Big Thanks
Just wanted to give a public 'thanks' to both Laurance and Cody, who are both great artists, allies, and friends. Cody did a lot of the art for the Untitled Podcast in the past. He also writes rather well about games, and has one of the last good gaming blogs out there.

Laurance, and his company, Physical City, did a gorgeous fucking banner for my book, and all the free prostitutes in the world wouldn't be a big enough 'thank you' to him. Whether it's a banner, a graphic for a page, a book cover, a billboard, a buttocks tattoo, a comic book, whatever, make goddam sure you chat w/ the dudes over at Physical City for any and all art needs. No shit. Do it. Now.


The Endless Wars: The Descent (section 1)
Here we go, and please note the nice-ass banner made up by the above-mentioned Physical City.



begin section one of the Endless Wars: the Descent

I: Curtain
November, 2001

Dark, ominous clouds. Lightning. A flood of
rain pouring down. Decaying, long dead buildings.
Streets that look like they haven’t been repaved since
the rule of Louis XVI. A cop substation in the
distance. More rain.

That was the landscape that was sucked into
Taran’s eyes. His view shifted around, as if he was
desperately trying to find something not dying, not
gray, at which to stare. He could feel the
lifelessness infecting him.

Taran Walker was twenty three years young, and
possessed the body of a man. His height and build were
just about average (roughly 5’8, with a fair amount of
muscle.) His dark brown hair and brown eyes added to
his almost average appearance. His face was adorned
with a beard that circled his mouth, and his eyes
contained a coldness that looked very heavy.

His room was covered in dirty laundry, various
magazines and books, boxes of CDs and other belongings,
empty beer bottles and cigarette packs everywhere. A
bare mattress was in the corner, with an ashtray and a
digital alarm clock next to it. The walls had probably
once been white, but those days were long since gone.

Of course he loved her. Of course he did. Not
“in love,” mind you. But he did love her. How could
he not? An inch shorter than him, red hair, green
eyes, tiny waist, perfect curvy body, and that weird
Jedi Mind control over guys. She was one of those
girls that was great at convincing you that you needed
her above all else, and by the time you realized that
you didn’t, you had already wrecked your life so badly
that your best strategy was to cower in her shadow
until you thought of some really clever escape plan.

Rosaline was really something.

But, Taran had learned. About four months prior,
she had cheated on him and dumped him for a military
school cadet three years his junior. After four years
of something that almost reminded him of perfection.

So, there she stood. Fighting and pleading to be
taken back.

“I’m done with you.” Taran said, surprisingly
calmly, though he let out several ragged breaths after-
wards

“I can’t fucking believe you. It’s really
interesting, really, really interesting, Taran, how
this ‘honor’ that you always talk about comes and goes
whenever it’s convenient for you! Isn’t ‘forgiveness’
included in your little ‘code of conduct?’” she paused,
inhaled a sniffle, “Taran, listen to me. Please. I’m
standing here telling you that I love you.”

Taran’s mind raced, trying to decipher her tactic.
He had known her for a long time, and knew
that every single word that left her beautiful, pale
lips was part of a larger strategy. She never did or
said anything unless she was going to gain something
from it. He had been brilliantly manipulated by her
over the last year, and was done with it. Just done
with it.

First, it had been the gaps in her schedule.

Hours of time that were missing in her life that she
would claim had been used for napping, which she never
did, or extra homework, which was also unusual. She
always plowed through her homework in a very short
time, a testament to her intelligence. Sometimes, she
would even manufacture reasons to explode at him, so as
to avoid him for the hours it took to be with her
lover.

Then, Taran had caught them.

Rosaline arched her back and touched her breasts
in a way she NEVER did with Taran...she bounced up and
down on him [GRINGO] in a way she never had with
Taran...her gasps and [FAKED] orgasms sounded much more
violent, more felt, more appreciated than they ever had
with Taran...Taran moved away from the doorway...wished
he had been noticed by them...

She had claimed that not only was Taran losing
“it,” but so was their relationship. She had said that
things hadn’t been the same since...

She saw Taran lying bloody on his couch, shards
of glass embedded in his face...white powder caked
under his nose...she knew he was supposed to be dead...

He figured that she, being only 19, had gotten
bored and curious. He had been warned that she had
been too young when they started dating, and here he
stood, the biggest goddam fool in the world.

He continued to stare out the window and absorb
the rather depressing landscape. He took another drag
off his cigarette, exhaled, and turned to face her. He
hated this moment. The moment after you’ve been facing
away from a lover or an ex you’ve been fighting with
and then, suddenly you turn, look at them, and remember
why you were facing away. They’re the most beautiful
individual in the world.

He very calmly approached her. He caressed her
cheek with his hand and smiled at her.

“I will always love you, I’m sure. I just don’t
ever want to see you again,” he whispered, his smile
trembling, “and please, just let me go. Please. I
can’t-“

“Taran, I left you for Johnny Gringo. Another
guy. You are not the first person this has happened
to. You’re acting like this is some horrible new
problem in the world. It happens all the fucking
time.”

He pulled away from her, his unstable smile
dissolving into a sigh. His eyes rolled as he threw
his hands up in the air.

“Ya know, Roz, there was a time when I thought
you might actually be capable of feeling guilty for
something, or actually really, truly loving someone. I
suspected you were incapable of having a shred of
humanity a year ago, and now, I’m sure of it.”

Rosaline looked away from him, her green eyes
flicking all over the place. She bit her lip and
nodded her head.

“Taran,” she began, her voice quieter and
sweeter, “Can we just...start over, or something.
Please? I-“

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Taran exploded,
slapping a beer bottle off of his window sill and into
a wall. Rosaline jumped away from the glass shards
that sprayed out.

“Calm down!” she yelled, pointing a long,
perfectly sculpted finger at him. The red nail shined
from the light of the street lamp outside.

“Then stop! It’s like you can’t decide if you
want me back so that you can torture me some more or
because you actually do love me. Just leave! Go!”

“Taran, stop it. Look, let’s calm down and just
talk, okay? No more yelling, okay? Let’s just relax
and talk this out.” Rosaline offered, almost speaking
in a whisper.

“No.” Taran grunted through gritted teeth. He
turned and stared at the dying night through his window
again.

Rosaline’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Don’t you understand? I made a mistake. If I
wounded you, I-“

Taran whirled to face her, smashing his cigarette
into the ashtray as he turned.

“Some wounds heal and some wounds scar. Do you
know what it means to be wounded? Do you know what
it’s like when that wound comes from someone you love?
When that wound is accidentally inflicted, that is
easily forgivable. When that wound is intentional, it
is not. When it is intentional and repeatedly fucking
inflicted, it goes into a realm beyond hatred and
sadness. I believe the term ‘inhuman’ was fashioned
for just this kind of act. You have never loved me and
are incapable of doing so. Leave now.”

He turned back to the window. Tears dripped off
of his rough cheeks and into the ashtray, extinguishing
the burning remains of the cigarette.
Rosaline stared at him for a few moments, then
finally spoke in a choked voice.

“What happened to you? You used to be...”
Still staring out the window, never turning to
look at her, Taran responded.

“Never mind what I used to be. It’s no concern
of yours any longer. You will never have to worry
about it again. I’ve relieved you of that. Good bye.”

All Rosaline could do was stare. Or, at least
attempt to. The tears were flowing so heavily she had
to repeatedly blink. He was gone for good this time.
Forever. And, yet, there he was. Standing maybe a
foot away. He was right in front of her! She could
reach out to touch him. One last time. Her last
memory of him could be the feeling of their skin
touching.

However, she was convinced this would not be
their last shared memory.

She bent down, picked up her purse, walked out of
the room, and began to head down the stairs.

For whatever reason, he didn’t feel that great
sense of victory he had expected.

Taran stared out of his window, his hands clasped
behind his back, and watched her exit the building and
run to her car. Rosaline was gone.

The dying city lay before him, waiting.

end of the first section of the Endless Wars: the Descent

So, that's the first part of the book. I'll post more of it tomorrow, and the following day, and then we'll see what we do with the rest of the week. I'll also answer some of last week's 'Writing Wednesday' questions.

Now, when it comes to buying the actual book, there are two options:

Buy a real book for $15.42!

Buy an ebook for $1.25!

The choice is yours, and I make the same $1 off of it either way, so please just buy the version that makes it easier for you to read it!

The long-term goal is make enough to buy my own ISBN, so any help you can contribute is very, very appreciated.

See ya tomorrow.

-Blaine

The Filthy Writer Blog Relaunch

So, I've been meaning, for weeks now, to get back to posting nearly every weekday, but I've been too busy with all kindsa bullshit, but that's trickled down to a nearly-manageable level now.

Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.

Announcements

- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.

- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:

Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.

Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.

Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.

Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.

Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.

- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.

- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!

- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.

Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...

On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.

Why?

I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.

Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.

When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.

Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.

When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.

How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.

I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.

Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.

Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.

Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.

Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?

Thanks!

-Blaine

Open Source & Writing

There are certain benefits to having absolutely no direction in life. One of them is that you accidentally learn a lot about a variety of subjects. You might be amazed what you pick up when you bounce from being a Video Game store manager to an art school student (graduated with a 4-year BA!) to a restaurant manager to an IT student/professional.

One of the best discoveries along the way has been open source software. I used to be just another brainless Microsoft-using drone, banging out my stories on Microsoft Word on Microsoft 95/ME/XP, until John led an intervention.

He mocked me ruthlessly for months, saying unkind things about my intelligence, waistline, and penis, until I finally caved and installed Ubuntu on one of my PCs. From there, I discovered all kinds of open source applications and now the only software I ever pay for is games.

Open Source & the Writer
I'm a writer. I also work in IT. I don't know if I can properly explain to you how diametrically opposed these two worlds are.

Allow me, then, to tell you why every writer out there should use open source software.

There are few things in this world that I find more childish and obnoxious than the person who prides themselves on their ignorance, as if being open to being taken advantage of is some idiotic badge of honor. Technophobia was cute back when the Church was still allowed to be transparent about its hateful agenda, and they were killing people who pointed out that the world is round. Nowadays, you have companies like Apple & Norton who prey on the technologically retarded by making them pay for services they don't need and overpay for various wares that could be more easily gotten if the user dared to challenge themselves a little and learn the basics of computing.

I'm a writer and a musician. I love musicians but tend to battle most other writers. Most musicians have a grasp of two basic principles very dear to my heart: the embrace of technology & the ability to play well with others. Again, that's most, as I understand that there are plenty of self-absorbed pricks in the music industry.

Anyway, by and large, musicians tend to be pretty cool dudes, and as long as they're hungry, they'll let themselves be pretty versatile and learn any skill necessary to let themselves quit their horrible retail/fast-food job.

Writers, though, aren't always the most tech-savvy, which surprises me, as they should be using computers all the fucking time.

Talk to any serious writer, ask them about their writing process, and they will lay out for you this amazingly elaborate ritual that takes place in a very specific setting during a certain time of day. I don't know why so many writers want so badly to restrict the circumstances under which they can be most productive, but hey, ya gotta be at least a little neurotic to be an artist.

This isn't to say that I don't understand the need for ideal comfort when writing, as I absolutely do. When I write, I like being alone, I like bright lights, I like being able to recline a bit, and that's about it. My process is another post unto itself, but I just wanted to point out how much cooler I am than other writers.

Writers, though, with all their twisted neuroses, need for attention, and desire for cripplingly specific creative process should LOVE open source software.

For me, it came down to three things. One, free software. Two, customization. Three, community.

If you want Windows 7 & Microsoft Office 2007 this fall, you're forking over $500-800. No shit. If you want Ubuntu + OpenOffice, it's free, and just as powerful. If you need to, you can save as MS Word docs, or as .pdf, or whatever you need.

Additionally, by opting for the free open source solution, you're helping adjust the market in that direction. Software tends to be outrageously overpriced, and every little market correction helps.

As for the customization, this is the big one. Ubuntu is fully cuztomizable, and very easily so. OpenOffice has many, many extensions, and can be easily customized, as well. What this allows the writer to do is create his/her ideal writing space on their computer. By being able to tweak both the OS and the word processor, you can make things more comfortable for yourself, and allow yourself to cut the bullshit and get to the writing that much faster.

I've found this is especially nice on my netbook, which I use quite a bit for editing. I write a bit on it, but the keyboard's a little small for the furious slamming of keys. It is, however, perfect for curling up on the bed and editing.

The last point, community, was one I wasn't expecting. Being a user of FOSS instantly connects you with a huge community of people who not only use the same software as you, but often times contribute to the project, so if you ever have questions, you have a vast pool of people who are willing to help you out.

Additionally, you're able to help out quite a bit by contributing feedback on the various projects, which is invaluable.

What's nice, too, is that you may find yourself actually pulled into the tech side a little more, and may just learn a thing or two.

It took me ages and ages to finally lock down and put out my book, and I can easily say that switching to open source software was a huge reinvigoration, as it allowed me a free and easy way to create the perfect writing environment for myself.

So, if you're a writer, I urge you to check out the FOSS scene, and see if there's anything there for you. You may be pleasantly surprised by how much you can get for nothing.

-Blaine

PS - any other writer-ly or tech stuff you wanna read about here?

Please be sure to check out my novel, the Endless Wars: the Descent! Thanks!

Even closer...

...got the book back from my editor/wife. She doesn't normally read that slowly, but was taking time to give me a thorough ass-kicking from an editorial standpoint. Some stuff she loved, some stuff she hated, and I am now poring through her notes and making minor adjustments in preparation for submitting the manuscript to Lulu to get the thing printed.

The manuscript, now, is at 260 pages, but that will likely increase a little.

I had a very minimalist cover in mind that was simply a black & white photo of a building (central to this particular book) for the front and back of the book, but have decided that I'd rather have plain white w/ black courier font for the covers & spine. Just seems cleaner and less pretentious. I dunno. I just like the way it looks in my head. We'll see. I'd like to have each book in the series be kinda uniform in that respect.

I've confirmed the book will be available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble, as well as the Lulu site.

There will be an e-book version available at some point, but I don't know if it will be day & date with the print version.

There will NOT be a Kindle version, as I've pulled my support for the device after the 1984 fiasco.

I don't yet have a release date. I have a feeling it'll be this month, but it could slip to September. I may push it to September just so I have time to actually build up some anticipation for it. Again, we'll see.

I've made some cost-related decisions, as well. Any additional content that's included will likely be downloadable, to reduce the cost of the book. The more the book costs to make, the more I have to charge. Also, I will be taking a dollar or less per book, in an effort to further reduce cost.

I've started the second book, and it was refreshing to really bang out some new material with these characters for the first time in years. If the first book was dark, this one is cold. With any luck, it won't be another 10 years between books, and I can put out a couple a year. I feel great about the second book thus far.

I'm also thinking about doing a free online-only prequel series of shorts to help flesh out the worlds that appear in these books. I've got the first one in the bag, and am kinda sitting on it while I decide what to do with it.

There have been two very rough things in this process: nightmares and lost companions.

Writing the book gave me nightmares, and editing it has had the same effect. There's some really twisted, deeply personal shit in this volume, and writing/editing it forces me to confront a lot of this shit, at least on some level, and the result is nightmares. Not the kind ya laugh and tell your wife about the next day, either.

My Linux netbook is down at the moment, at least until I either diagnose it or send it in to the manufacturer. It's covered under warranty, but I have a feeling that the HDD is on its last legs. I'm going to try and grab an image of it this week, before I send it in, but I worry that I can't keep it running long enough to grab said image. We shall see.

Either way, that netbook was HUGE in getting this thing edited. It's only 8.9 inches across and weighs 2 pounds, so it was a delight to just lie in bed, read, and edit. It's also my only portable option for Linux at the moment, and Linux is ideal for writers.

With Linux and a little know-how, a writer can pick up a cheap-ass Linux netbook, and customize the shit out of it, thus creating his/her ideal writing/editing setup. Ask any serious writer, and they'll tell you that they are very particular about their rituals, spaces, setups, etc. for when they write. I'm not as overly sensitive as most writers and don't like to cripple myself by limiting the conditions under which I can write.

That reminds me, some day I'd like to post about my dealings with other writers, and how most of them hate me, and how musicians are actually 'my people.' Just know that most writers are amazingly pretentious douchebags who want nothing more than to masturbate to ten-cent words.

Anyway, the netbook will be up and running again soon, but since I back everything up every day in quadruplicate, it's not too big an issue. That thing is just my favorite object in the world, and my most useful tool (other than my penis.)

I'll be back soon. The breaks between posts will be shorter from here on out, since there will be more to talk about the closer we get to release day.

Real quick, I've been reading my first ebook. I wasn't sure if I wanted to publish in that format, so I decided to test-drive a book. I've been reading the first Song of Ice and Fire book in this format, and so far, I really like it. I've been using eReader (running via Wine) on my Ubuntu netbook (which is perfect as an ebook reader, another reason I already miss it.) The netbook is so light and small, one can hold it easily in one hand and lie on his/her back, or lie in any preferred reading position. The nicest thing is that the backgrounds and font are totally customizable, so you can adjust everything until it's nice and easy on your eyes. I think I like it.

In the meantime, let's talk books. What are your favorites? Who are your favorite authors? Favorite genres? Do you like ebooks? What do you think of the Kindle? Anything!

Alright, let's get this hype machine going! HOOWAH!

-Blaine