Get Over It

I take great pride in the fact that I don't whine or cry about silly things on the internet. Or really anywhere, actually. I am terrified of being one of those types of guys.

That makes it very hard to write about myself or my writing on this blog. I've false-started a few times on here the last couple weeks because I started sounding too whiny and 'pay attention to me' and that's just not my style. I roll my eyes when other people do it, and I won't contribute to the slow erosion of masculinity that we see all over the US now.

So, to circumvent this issue, I will present, instead, bullet points. This will allow me to cut right to the point without the emotional lubrication that my provocative vocabulary can offer to my emotional weaknesses.

Here goes:

 - I've been posting almost every day on my multitude of blogs, and have enjoyed the process, probably much to your personal detriment
 - I've already been trolled once for my self-promotion, and as usual, it was a nearly-incomprehensible manner; honestly, being trolled is a good sign
 - I'm amazed how busy I am now, and I'm concerned about the status of a couple projects I have in early stages; nothing to report about them unless they actually get off the ground
 - I'm sometimes tempted to talk about my in-progress fiction on here, but I never think that's a good idea; it works for some writers, but not for me; there are certain things in my brain that I never talk to anyone about, for fear that they might have feedback on it, and stories are among those, now; I had more than a few stories that were workshopped to death back in college, and I'm never doing it again
 - I've, over the last few weeks, unshackled myself from being one of those oversensitive twats that claim that they have to have exactly a particular environment, or they just can't write; I've purposely made myself write some of these posts in less-than-ideal environments, and there was only one that, physically, I couldn't do; I always disliked this quirk about myself and other writers, and I'm glad to have murdered it
 - this has also, and I just realized this, to find that I can write without boozing; I've been a little concerned about that for over a year, but it's coming together, and the rusty old fiction gears are finally turning again, and I've birthed my first good science fiction idea in years in the last couple weeks
 - going to check out the Chernobyl diaries today; there's a whole lot of great fiction that has sprung from what happened in Chernobyl, so I'm eager to see Oren Peli's take on it
 - been traveling a lot, and I enjoy the expansion in perspective that forces; I don't like being pushed out of my routine or comfort zone, and this is a way to make that exercise fun and enlightening
 - really pissed off a buddy with a post I put up the other day; has me questioning where to draw the line between life and art; I love writing, but it's not worth fucking up friendships

Questions for other writers
 - where do you draw the line in including your life and your friends' lives in your non-fiction?
 - how much do you discuss your in-progress fiction?

Questions for the rest of you knuckleheads
 - any feedback on the blog posts?

Thanks for reading!

Blaine
Buy my book!

Blogging About Blogging

It's been interesting writing every day again, and I must say that I've enjoyed it, and I've been pleased by the feedback. Traffic has ticked up nicely, and new opportunities have been borne of the efforts.

One of those opportunities can be found over at the Galaxy Next Door gaming site. Give it a read, and I hope you enjoy it. I'll be writing a column for them every Wednesday, and it seems like a pretty good fit thus far.

That will replace my Wednesday updates here. I'm not going to be actively promoting this blog anymore, but I will still be updating it. I'm guessing it may be lots of brief updates throughout the week. I'm not sure. I'm intentionally not having a plan for this space anymore, so that I have at least one blog that has no pressure or expectations attached to it. I know that sounds silly, but I like the idea of having a space in which I'm not looking at numbers or refining my craft. Though I'll still be looking at numbers because I'm obsessive about numbers and I think in numbers, and numbers rule my world in ways that would make you ask me to stop having sex at you.

That is all. Check out the new column and comment away over there!

-Blaine

Post-Colonoscopy Word Dump

soundtrack - new-ish Asteroids Galaxy Tour - 'Out of Frequency' record

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. Just making sure there was no cancer in my butt. There wasn't. At one time, we had reason to think that there may be a chance there was some cancer up in there, but after several steps, we assured that there is not.

I will say that the whole thing was a very interesting and memorable experience. I'm not sure how much to say, since I often sound holier-than-thou when it comes to dealing with potential crises. I guess I'm just kinda 'zen' about things that are non-work-related. I dunno. I was a little nervous about the colonoscopy aspect of it, since I don't have a great love for the current state of the medical industrial complex, plus I'd never been 'put under' before, and wasn't wild about surrendering so much control to someone. Blah blah blah.

Enough about that.

So, I've decided I'd like to do some blogging again, but I want to refine my process before I really jump back in. What I've found is that my old approach, which is the blunt, imprecise imposition of my views upon the unwilling horde was neither practical nor terribly rewarding. While I'm quite certain as to the veracity and solidity of my opinions, there is the perception that even though they're mine, they're still just 'opinions,' and little more. While I find that I have little appreciation for this attitude, it has given me cause to reexamine why I would want to even continue blogging.

I've often found that blogging is akin to a masturbatory session that ends very badly, but nets little more than a shrug from its unfortunate witnesses. All three or less of them. And two of them are automated searches from eastern Europe.

So why even post here anymore? Well, I haven't in months. I wanted to shift my attention to my more literary pursuits (the Endless Wars sequel), plus work got real busy, and oh yeah, Star Wars: The Old Republic came out.

The main thing, though, is the time commitment. I'm not someone who just throws any old shit up here (despite how it may read). I really put effort into it, and I labor over what I present to you. Both of you.

So, yeah, what I need is a refined process and demonstrable return on investment. Frankly, the opportunity cost is not to be underestimated. I work a very demanding, stressful job, and my off-hours are precious to me.

Yeah, the easy answer is, 'shut up and move on with your life,' but there's a lot of aspects to blogging that I enjoy. Some great discussions have come out of my posts. Blogging is a worthwhile writing exercise. There's also the potential monetization aspect to consider.

I'm thinking about trying out a refined version of something I tried a few years ago. Post every day M-F, but have a variety of topics, each of which is assigned to a particular weekday. So, like sports would be Mondays, technology would be Tuesdays, gaming would be Wednesdays, and so on. I'd probably also have a different blog assigned to each one. The entries would be shorter than I usually squeeze out, since I probably suffer from some of the 'too long, didn't read' thing that plagues us nowadays.

We'll see. I may build it all out this weekend.

What do you think?

Blaine

Buy my book!

Sycophants and Ass-Clowns

First of all, if you're hitting this blog via the front page, please allow me to apologize for that Star Wars music that just auto-played. I hate that shit, too, but I didn't realize, two posts ago, that video was an auto-play when I embedded it. My bad. Just take a moment, scroll down, and pause it.

I'll wait.

Okay, so before I begin this tirade, I want to point you to a really good blog.

If you like this blog, but find yourself longing for something that's written much more coherently, and caters much more specifically to those that are interested in the craft of writing, and has fewer run-on sentences, and is less of a shambolic shithole, please allow me to introduce you to Fists & Angels, Christs & Angels. It's written by one of my good buddies, Bucho. We used to be super-tight, but then he turned into a better writer than I am, so fuck him.

Also, fake beer can really hit the spot on a Friday night when buried in your creative mental space. Yes, I'm THAT guy, now.

The title of this post ... it came from a conversation that I was having with some friends at work ... I vent a considerable amount lately, and for good reason. I vent for good reasons that I'm not going to get into here, but if you know me, you know what the deal is. The short version is that I plopped down in the chair next to Captain Butthurt's cubicle and muttered, 'I am so sick of dealing with sycophants and ass-clowns.' Yeah, there's some shit going down that I'm part of, but I'll survive it one way or another.

ANYWAY, the Captain said I had to use 'Sycophants and Ass-Clowns' as this weekend's post title. Since I do what I'm told, I did.

Truth
I sometimes fantasize about the inevitable future. Right now, the world is controlled by money, but eventually, all of us SysAdmins are going to rise up and grab them by the surprisingly undersized balls and demand a change.

You see, we control the world.

You don't necessarily know it right now, but your computer was able to be manufactured because several sysadmins allowed it to happen via networking and server administration. Your internet connection is maintained by an army of sysadmins. Your power stays on because sysadmins allow it by making sure that the right servers can talk to the right systems, in addition to maintaining the networking that goes into that.

We control the lights. We control the TV. We control the internet. We control the phones. We control the traffic lights. We control the porn. We control Justin Bieber. We control the world.

One day, reality TV will go away, or I will rally the troops and bring this world to its fucking knees.

Just think about it.

Network Programming
I want to talk about Alphas and Falling Skies for a moment.

It's rare that a major network doesn't fall upon its own sword to avoid producing a good science fiction series. Somehow, Falling Skies managed to become quite good after 2-3 episodes.

What it did well was follow the Walking Dead roadmap. It treated the aliens as a device, rather than as a focus, and shifted the emphasis to the people, and how they re-learn to live their lives.

While it's not nearly as good as The Walking Dead, it definitely filled a niche this summer.

If it wants to reach The Walking Dead status, it needs to make the characters more interesting, and stop just relying on conflict to achieve that. Conflict can be a good way to engage the viewer, but it gets tiresome if that's all that's going on.

They did seem to catch onto this a bit as the eight-episode season went on, but the show hasn't truly blossomed yet.

As for Alphas, this is my new SyFy show. This one has been solid from the pilot on. The characters are engaging and sympathetic, and the plots have been fun. It really is Heroes + X-Files.

If I had to recommend one new show for the summer, it would be Alphas.

That Phone App
The Windows Phone app is proceeding apace. I've been looking at approaches to the game logic, as well as incubating the 'story' in my head. I use quotes because it's not one linear story. If a story is a thread, this is a tapestry.

The logic part is challenging because this can really be approached a number of different ways. I could have a left-to-right branching series that starts skinny on the left, gets fat in the middle, then gets skinny again on the right, then gets fat again going further right, then gets skinny again, etc. I could also use an Enum, as suggested by Captain Butthurt, to tick a set of events, that once fulfilled, opens the next section, then repeats a few times. Additionally, I could also plant a few key decisions in a branching series that then set the path to one of several middle points, which then each open up to their own sets of branches, wash, rinse, repeat.

So, I've got some planning to do, then some writing, then some coding, and then a cigarette.

That Science Fiction Novel
This coming along well, if in a somewhat halted fashion. This is the first novel I've ever written in which I get self-conscious. It's very unlike me, but I'm really pushing things in a VERY adult direction, a la Battlestar Galactica or The Walking Dead, but with a dash of Firefly. I think part of my discomfort comes from the fact that I'm working in the holiest of genres for the first time, so I'm having to relearn my approach somewhat.

Also, this is the first book I've ever written while not totally shitfaced most of the time, so I'm having to rebuild my process somewhat. A writer gives him or herself permission to do a lot more when they're 'altered' while writing, and that can be a very potent thing, and I've handcuffed myself somewhat in terms of the creative process.

So, I'm loving this book so far, even if it makes me a little nuts sometimes. I think I'm lingering too long on certain characters, but it's because I'm so interested in them, and that's what editing's for, dammit.

Where the hell is the next Endless Wars novel?
It'll come. Not soon, though. There are other projects I want to get out the door first, and that's a series that's complicated for me to approach now.

Book Recommendations
I need some good non-licensed works reading. What ya got?

-Blaine

Soundtrack
Red Fang - Prehistoric Dog
Pearl Jam - The Fixer
Eddie Vedder - Can't Keep
Rob Zombie - Werewolf Women of the SS
Tres Mts. - She's My New Song
Rob Zombie - The Man Who Laughs
Tres Mts. - God Told Me
Brad - Luxury Car
Rob Zombie - Sick Bubblegum
Eddie Vedder - Dream a Little Dream With Me
Limp Bizkit - Loser
Avenged Sevenfold - Welcome to the Family
Brad - Runnin' For Cover
Foo Fighters - Dear Rosemary
Slash - We're All Gonna Die
Chris Cornell - Long Gone
Deftones - Diamond Eyes
Them Crooked Vultures - Spinning in Daffodils
Alice in Chains - Your Decision
Korn - Pop a Pill

Fuck-Off Friday #1

And thus begins the weekend, soon.

It's a lovely 'Fuck Off Friday,' which means I'm just going to ramble here, either until I run out of time, or until I feel it's time to contract my (proverbial) mouth valve.

It's been nice to blog again, even if I find myself having to do it in quick spurts, almost when no one's looking. What's nice about that is that it compares even more sharply with masturbation, which illustrates the way I feel about most 'professional' bloggers.

Don't get me wrong, there are some damn good bloggers (or bloggists, as I prefer) out there, but many are low self-esteem-driven wankers with a thirst for attention. AT ANY COST!

Aaanyway, like I said, it's good to flex different writing muscles. Blogging is often a good counterbalance to my fiction writing, as it accesses different parts of the brain, and keeps my mind in shape.

Okay, now I'm tired of talking about that.

I've become utterly addicted to Buffy. I'd never seen the show before a month or so ago, as I had regarded the presentation as beyond stupid, but now I love it. On one hand, I love anything with robots/monsters/aliens, and on the other, it's like a snapshot of my high school years (though 'Buffy' was a freshman when I would have been a senior.)

The show does a great job of blending great comedy with real heart-string yanking teenage melodrama and cool supernatural material. It's one of the only 'high school' shows that doesn't make me want to choke the life out of the characters (well, except Xander, and it's because he's so well-written as a teenage douchebag.)

I might be binging on the rest of season 3 this weekend, but we'll see. I'm trying to lure my wife into watching it with me. I've considered waving my penis in front of one of my computer monitors while Hulu is loaded, but we'll see.

I'll also be hopping back into the Uncharted 2 multiplayer beta this weekend, so if you were smart enough to preorder the game, like me, I'll see ya there.

Otherwise, I'll be hanging out with my wife and son this weekend, maybe having a beer or two, and definitely not watching the blacked-out Rams game (thanks for the blatant greed, NFL!)

Oh, and you guys are gonna love the first Manly Monday post. Manly Mondays are going to be my weekly advice column, focusing on relationship advice for men. I can't wait to post the first entry.

So, some questions:

01 - What are your feelings on Buffy: the Vampire Slayer?
02 - What are your plans for the weekend?
03 - Any questions for me for Manly Monday?

Thanks, have a great weekend, and UNLEASH THE COMMENTS!

-Blaine

The Filthy Writer Blog Relaunch

So, I've been meaning, for weeks now, to get back to posting nearly every weekday, but I've been too busy with all kindsa bullshit, but that's trickled down to a nearly-manageable level now.

Things have finally quieted down somewhat @ work, and I think I'm now ready to resume the blog. Thank the maker. I actually like posting here.

Announcements

- Untitled Podcast: Tony and I will be recording shows on 9/26 & 10/3. On 9/26, we'll be talking all things TGS, as well as catching up on our usual bullshit. On 10/3, it'll be our Holiday Preview, and we need YOU to tell us what YOU want to hear about! Comment on our 1UP blog with the games you want us to talk about, and we'll be sure to include most of them! Those shows will be hit the feeds, iTunes & otherwise, by 9/28 & 10/5, respectively.

- Also, I'm adding themes to each day on here. The goal is to post M-F on here, with the following themes: 'Manly Mondays,' 'Tech Tuesdays,' 'Writing Wednesday,' 'Topical Thursdays,' and 'Fuck Off Fridays.' Here's the breakdown:

Manly Mondays - This will be a short post, consisting of relationship advice for manly men. It's my opinion that modern men have lost their way, and turned into a generation of whiny bitches that don't grasp basic things like being consistent rocks for their families to rely on. I will singlehandedly save MAN-kind with this weekly entry. I will also answer any reader questions that I have pertaining to this topic.

Tech Tuesdays - This will be a little longer, and will be a rundown of cool tech stuff I've been playing with, and an explanation of the various crazy configurations I use for stuff, from Ubuntu customizations, to paring down your Vista startup, to Firefox configs, etc, as well as cool gaming stuff.

Writing Wednesdays - Another short post in which I rap for a while about writing, or answer reader questions.

Topical Thursdays - A longer post in which I pick a current topic, and break it down for everyone.

Fuck Off Fridays - This could go several ways.

- Writing: Online writing! I've started an interesting experiment. I'm writing an entire novel on Google Docs, and slowly sharing it with more and more people, the further in I get. Right now, it's only shared with three unlucky souls, but I plan on it expanding it further. If you have any interest in seeing my new book get written, lemme know, and I'll add you in at some point. It's somewhat of a chronicle of my years being a poor writer in dirty-ass Chicago.

- Writing: Don't forget, my new book is still for sale! LET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW HOW SMART AND SEXY YOU ARE BY BUYING MY BOOK! E-Book is only $1.25, and dead tree version is $15.42!

- Writing: Also, if you've been kind enough to buy and read my book, I really, really need some reviews posted on Lulu. If you've read it, and can spare a few minutes, that would be a huge help.

Since it's Wednesday, let's get this thing started...

On Writing
Since this is my first 'Writing Wednesday' post, let's talk about the most important part of your story, the beginning. This is where 99% of all stories die.

Why?

I think it's because of confidence and commitment. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in your story, and make a commitment to that story, then you may as well just visit the Story Abortion Clinic, sign in, and take a seat.

Being a writer means putting yourself and your ego second. When working on a story, everything you do must serve the story. It doesn't matter if you're peppering the description in a scene in a book, storyboarding FX scenes in a film, or fluffing the lead in Bobby Batters Becky's Bottom. Everything must serve the story, or be exorcised. If your main goal is deliver a message, then write a fucking pamphlet. If you wanna see shit blow up, join the Army. The only thing that matters when constructing a narrative that you intend to deliver is serving the story. Put all agendas aside, and just write.

When I write, I'm not actually doing anything other than acting as a conduit. I just relax, re-read the previous day's work, touch it up a little, then free my mind, and let the words take control.

Also, I don't overthink it until I'm done with a section. Don't think until it's time to edit.

When you sit down to write something new, that blank page is scary. It's like looking over a great distance, and realizing that you can't even see where you're supposed to go, because it's so far away.

How do I overcome it? Easy. Alcohol.

I'm not saying 'get wasted,' but pour yourself a drink, whether it be a Merlot, or rum n' coke, or a beer, or whatever. Have a drink without looking at that page, think about what you wanna write, get yourself pumped, then, on the second drink, put on some music, and start hammering those keyboard keys. Start writing the thing. You may pleasantly surprise yourself.

Quick note, though - never write drunk. You may produce the best stuff of your life a handful of times, but you run into two dangers. One, you're training your mind to only function that way when it's inebriated, and two, you might come to believe that you can only write while under the influence.

Like I said, if ya have jitters, give yourself some liquid courage, but be smart about it.

Next week, we'll talk about how to keep that book going, how to actually come back to it.

Also, please let me know if you have any questions about anything! Oh, and if you're a writer, what are your greatest challenges?

Thanks!

-Blaine