I fascinate me. Should you know me well, this should come as no great surprise.
What I mean by that is for as well as I know myself, I still surprise myself, in ways both good and bad. Take my reaction to the winter season, for example. I know that I've struggled through every winter, specifically, in the ways that relate to 'not being a fragile emotional deadweight.' I go into every winter saying, 'eh, fuck it, I'm fine,' and then, by about January, I'm staring out the window, wanting to break out into a very sad Wilson-Phillips-esque song that is heavily imbued with longing. Well, except, that would require motivation.
And, see, this is the point at which I should be saying, 'AHA! I'll go write a book about it! YES!' Instead ... eh. I don't feel like it.
What sucks is that I'm deep into some good pages on the Endless Wars sequel, and I've been getting some good feedback from my editor on them, and now he's quietly knocking on my phone door saying, 'Uh, dude? About that book? I want to see what happens next.' THAT is exactly what every good novelist wants to hear, and yet ... eh, I don't feel like it.
I've also been trying different things in terms of my process, too, to try to jump-start the thing. Everything from changing up the time of day to refining my environment, and none of it is sticking.
Of course, I always like a jackass at these moments. I'm an adult. I should be able to just make myself sit for an hour and bang out a page or two. That's what should happen, and yet ... eh, I don't feel like it.
And, it's temporary, of course. I'm not really sweating it, but I kind of wish I was.
In the meantime, I'm reading like a madman. I've been devouring the Wheel of Time series, something I'd long avoided. I was finally convinced by a friend in the meatspace to just try it, and I'm loving it. It's like the anti-A Song of Ice & Fire series. Don't get me wrong, I love ASoI&F, but WoT is a refreshing low fantasy opposite. They have similar settings, but where everyone in ASoI&F is fucking and dying right and left, the WoT characters are ... well ... not. Additionally, where there's little else out there akin to ASoI&F, WoT iterates on every great sci-fi/fantasy trope, but does so rather skillfully.
I'm also hyped for the release of Dead Space 3 next week. The fiction of that universe is fantastic, and a great commentary on the ways that science, religion, corporate interests, and government all interact. If you've not played the Dead Space games, grab the first one and let me know what you think. There's also animated films, comics, novels, spin-off games, and all kinds of stuff that feeds into the fiction. It's a great universe that offers some pretty sharp critiques of how we, as a people, have evolved, and might continue to evolve.
For now, though, I'm hoping to narrow my focus a bit, reign my passions in, and make myself more productive in the writing space. I love doing it, but hate doing it part-time.
I also want to record another album ... and make my own text adventure ... and get back to more model building ... and spend more time sharpening my C# skills ... and sharpen my Windows Server skills ... and finally finish Buffy ... and have more time for playing sports with my son ... and back into watching basketball more ... and baseball, too, for that matter ... oh, and I need to play through all the Neverwinter Nights games and mods ... I also never finished Final Fantasy XIII-2 ... and I don't spend enough time with Guild Wars 2 ... I wouldn't mind revisiting Star Trek Online ... and I would really like to play through more of the stories in Star Wars: The Old Republic.
Like I said ... narrowing my focus.
Love,
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